Update and the anxiety level is starting to build....
It has been a month since the SD made the video making fun of me on social media. She has not been to our home since that discovery and she has not reached out to me to apologize. My husband told her that until she was ready to acknowledge what she did was wrong-that she wasn't allowed to come down until she acknowledged this. We have been on vacation without her and she didn't come because she refused to admit any wrongdoing. She has stood her ground saying that it was justified, that I deserved it and there was nothing wrong with it. Her mother confirms and approves of her behavior.
I found an amazing family therapist (psychotherapist) who I've been speaking to for the past month. She is concerned about my safety after hearing the details and reading the song where my SD wants me dead. I did tell her about the incidents with our dog as well as about the time she wanted to take her mother's gun and shoot a stray dog in their yard. She recommends that my husband seek therapy to help him deal with the SD and for the SD and husband go to therapy as well (as soon as possible). So, thank you to everyone who called it for what it is.
SD was not happy that we were on vacation and on our boat while she was home with her BM. Needless to say, she now wants to come to our home this weekend. After telling my husband that I do not feel safe when she is here and no longer will be bullied....he told me that I could find somewhere to go for the weekend (after I told him that was ugly -he offered to go somewhere with her). Yup, during a pandemic and leaving my bio daughter here. The anxiety level just jumped ten -old and the countdown to when she steps foot into our home is ticking. I do not want to leave my home and give her a pass on what she did. Also, do not trust her as she has stolen from me in the past when she was mad at me. The drama is so unneccesary and I'm so over it.
So, what would you all do? Flight or fight? Just kidding on the fight part (she is always texting people how she is going to fight me so maybe not). ;)
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Comments
Do not leave your home. Your
Do not leave your home. Your DH can visit with her somewhere else. Clearly she's a danger to you and your dog, there is no reason not to assume she's a danger to your daughter and all of your property. Plus, your DH is sending a terrible message by telling her she can't come over until she apologizes, and then letting her come over anyway.
I'd be reconsidering my marriage if DH told me that I could leave my home so he could bring his daughter, who harmed my dog and threatened my life, over to my house. Clearly he isn't taking this seriously. This child has been severely alienated and she could truly be dangerous to you. I'd also consider a restraining order against her.
^^^^This - 200%^^^^
^^^^This - 200%^^^^
If push comes to shove, I'd
If push comes to shove, I'd take the song and all the other information that you have about her to your local police station and use them to get a restraining order because you fear for your life and because she has people telling her she's done no wrong ...
PS - Your husband is an arse.
Sounds like it's time to file
Sounds like it's time to file for separation since DH can't seem to balance being a parent with being a spouse. His kid needs help, and if he is only entertaining the idea of entertaining her, then he isn't protecting your marriage. So, let him go be with SD while you plot your exit away from the toxicity.
lieutenant_dad
He needs to go to therapy to figure out how to deal with his hot mess of a daughter and her BM. You are correct and I'm kind of checked out right now. Thank you for the advice.
Yep. It is time to meet with
Yep. It is time to meet with an attorney and file for divorce.
Your H is a jerk for not supporting you. The fact that he even SUGGESTED you go somewhere else is absurd. He is throwing your marriage vows in the trash. You are not his priority- not your health, safety, or wellbeing- none of it.
SD is fine, she is with BM and rewarded for her behavior. She isn't going to all of a sudden gain a moral compass- he failed as a father long ago if she believes anything she has done is acceptable. So now your H can be a failure as a father and a husband- again.