Step biting and leaving bruises on himself from boredom
Hello, I have a 7-year-old stepson, my previous entries dealt with struggling to care for him, he lives with his mom again due to her wanting child support and me being unable to care for him. Her sister helps her care for him and she has a daughter. They play together. Last night, bio mom told fiancee stepson harmed himself because he was bored. He has toys there and a cousin to play with, he comes over weekends but wants to move back because he wants video games, he wants to go back and forth between parents and that cannot be. I am just wondering if this is normal. I dabble in biological sciences I have taken psychology courses but never touched the subject on self-harming and boredom can anyone give advice or talk about their own experience with this issue thank you.
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I would try to keep any of
I would try to keep any of your own advice out of this situation. There is likely little you could say that will help.. and if things don't work out well.. only you will be blamed.
This is a situation that his parents should be addressing. That could be a sign of an underlying issue.. they should deal with it.. but you need to personally take yourself out of that issue completely.
Kids don't self harm from
Kids don't self harm from boredom, they fall asleep or bug the hell out of other people. If this child is self-harming, he needs to be evaluated. Either that or bm wants to offload him on his father. Or both
in addition
I have a 9 month old and wish for them to take care of this issue for the sake of his siter looking up to him. I have also learned to not meddle and care more than the parents. But I am worried for him and my baby, his problems should be adressed.
Do you trust that the story
Do you trust that the story bio mom is telling is true? Or could it have been another child or an adult that did this that she is trying to cover for? And.. could it have been more him hurting himself in the throes of a tantrum?
Of course it is troubling to hear this. Is your Fiance worried about this. If not, he is not a great father really.. a good parent would be greatly concerned about somthing like this.
But, beyond protecting your own child by supervising their contact.... you can't get the child help.
yes
Yes i trust his mother, his little cousin has bit him but shes not parented well, shes behaving better but hasnt fought with him in a while. His cousin is 3. I have witnessed him turning over my babys bottle and letting the milk drip, him headbutting the wall on 2 occasions and saying it doesnt hurt, just doing things he knows the consequence to. His dad just told him to not do that but they dont care enough to get him help and I do not have a say.
This doesn't seem like
This doesn't seem like boredom as much as "extreme attention seeking"
He is doing something naughty like turning over the bottle.. to get a reaction.. ANY reaction.
He is head butting the wall.. to get a "look at me... I can hit the wall.. hahaha.. doesn't even hurt"
he needs help.. and you need to take a good look at how your partner is parenting his son.. is he an active parent or is he playing on his phone while the kid "plays nearby"... It sounds like the child needs active stimulation..
Yes
yeah, he does but he plays with him too. Just the child is very attention seeking and he’s always been babies and not that independent for a child unless he’s on his phone. I do get upset when he comes to me to talk about his game because I’m doing hw or writing a paper . And his dad is watching a football game and placing bets.SS also interrupts conversations between adults Nd will constantly talk even if you tell him you’re trying to focus I too think it is attention seeking . I will discuss this with fiancée thank you.
Note
don’t get upset at ss if not fiancée for not paying attention to his son. I disengaged a bit since I was more of a parent than actual parent and I never got any respect from him unless his father would speak to him. Stepmom is a thankless job but doesn’t mean I don’t worry for him or stand up for him
No, it's not normal. He
No, it's not normal. He should be seen by a therapist, but you don't have any control over that, I assume. He's not doing it because he's "bored", he's likely depressed and/or anxious.
My SD was a self injurer.
My SD was a self injurer. Started at age 11 and went on into her 20s. This is something that requires a professional outside the home.