Have y’all ever
Been watching a movie and a sex scene or intense romance scene in a movie come up and you're watching it with your SO and it makes you uncomfortable to watch because the lack of intimacy going on in your relationship? I wonder if that means the marriage is over....
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I can relate....
Hi,
I really can relate to this....
I feel the same, but hope that it is just temporary and caused by all the stress and anxiety(maybe some resentment) of what's going on...
Plus, I don't know your age but the menopause killed me off.....
Sending huge hugs your way.❤️
Completely agree. Marriages
Completely agree. Marriages have ebbs and flows. Just because you are in a slump right now, doesn't mean it is forever. I think that is why so many marriages fail. We are a society of wanting things instantly, that isn't how actual humans work, especially when it comes to feelings.
I once lived across the street from this little old lady and her and her husband had been married 70+ years, I asked her what the secret was, she said: we didn't ever give up. She said there were years that were beautiful and filled with so much love and laughter. There were years that there wasn't so much. She even said that there were a couple of years in there that she was pretty sure she hated him. But in the end, she wouldn't change a moment because they have had a beautiful life together.
Not sure
@Justmakingthebest I don't know if it's even possible to get through those ebbs amd flows anymore with constant access to things you can easily throw your attention into without working out issues. Also access to porn and social media makes it tough to keep your confidence that once you hit a stale patch that your mate isn't going to put there energy there. Also the drama with SD has taken a major toll on our marriage.
Hugs
@Shaz Thank you. I'm 33 by the way. My emotions are ties to intimacy and unfortunately things have been off between DH and I. Mostly due to SD and the constant drama she causes. I definitely have a lot of anxiety about where we are right now.
Menopause here as well...ugh.
Menopause here as well...ugh.
No. I have the opposite
No. I have the opposite problem, I'd like DH to slow down on chasing me around the dining room table a bit, but no signs of it. If you or your SO are not happy with your sex life, you should be able to talk about it and sort it out. I want wayyy less than DH but we compromise. It's the lack of communication that will kill the marriage.
Must be nice
@Tog Can't say I don't miss the feeling of being the object of my husband's affection, instead of consistently being a source of stress for him. He doesn't really want to communicate to me about our problems anymore.
It's a challenge. I feel bad
It's a challenge. I feel bad fending off his advances and/or having more than I want. But we talk about it and are both okay with where it stands. He wants more and I want less - so we meet in the middle. If you guys can't talk about it, it won't get better.
Have you talked about it with
Have you talked about it with your SO?
We get into ruts sometimes because nwe both want the other to initiate because we're tired or lazy or not feeling sexy. Then once we do have sex again we always say "why don't we do that more often!?"
He knows
We have had several conversations about issues in our marriage, currently going to counseling. Things are just awkward between us and haven't found our way back to each other. He no longer wants to communicate our issues.
I think him not wanting to
I think him not wanting to communicate about issues is a bigger sign that your relationship is on the outs than the lack of sex period lack of sex is a symptom of other problems and it sounds like communication is your main issue right now.
Hope you can
I hope you can bring up this issue in your counseling sessions. As everyone else said, you have to talk about it. Does he know you want to talk about sex, and not just more about skid struggles or other challenges? Sex is usually pretty important so he might be willing to talk about that. I hope you can get some passion and intimacy back.
That said, I can totally relate to the awkwardness you feel if you guys are watching a sexy scene or something. I had those moments with my Ex and it was really uncomfortable!
The stress adds up. My SO
The stress adds up. My SO works nights 7 days then is off 7 days. He has one kid full-time (no trouble from him, he's actually pleasant) and he has the other every day that he is off work. So, no days or nights without both kids. And the BM2 is a constant thorn in my side. I say mine because SO doesn't seem to mind interacting with her. Then he has his 2 girls with BM1, and although they live away and the BM1 isn't too bad, throw that on top of the issues with BM2 and the youngest and it's just constant. It really kills intimacy when you can't go a day without dealing with his ex-life.
We had a few days to ourselves over Thanksgiving week. SO just couldn't enjoy it, though. He had to call BM1's mother looking for one of the girls and then called BM2 whining that he missed the youngest and wanted to talk to him. Honestly if i were a man i wouldn't even be able to get it up at this point. That's how much of the magic is gone.
We're almost at four years
We're almost at four years since we've been intimate. And yes, it makes me uncomfortable to watch those scenes with him. We don't discuss the issues either - much easier to sweep under the carpet lol. Our lack of sex is mostly due to medication he is taking. We do actually have a close loving relationship besides the lack of intimacy.