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Johnson_87's Blog

Nothing is getting better

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Thinking it might be time to separate from DH. Between SD and him I get very little respect. I'm a SAHM and am doing the best I can. My depression and anxiety are terrible to the point only thing keeping me going is my 18 month old. Constantly having trust issues with SD, constantly arguing with DH over SD and other things. I feel they are both against me and I have no one in my corner. I get blamed for everything although I've done nothing but try to help DH. He's told me more than once he feels im using him. I have little to no self esteem.

Have y’all ever

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Been watching a movie and a sex scene or intense romance scene in a movie come up and you're watching it with your SO and it makes you uncomfortable to watch because the lack of intimacy going on in your relationship? I wonder if that means the marriage is over.... 

Facebook SM support groups/pages

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Is it me, or are the Facebook groups and pages that support SMs really judgemental??? Like they act like you're crazy or they gas light you on your situation? I've experienced that several times and it's actually made me antisocial and not want to ask questions. To me, it's so crazy because as a SM, we deal with some super weird and crazy situations, if anybody should understand it should be another SM. I'm wondering if we're programmed to respond the way others respond to us. Without compassion.

Not stepmom related but intimacy related

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I've been married to my DH for 3 yrs now and we have a one yr old ours and a 16 yr old SD. Prior to bio daughter, or s*x life was pretty regular. We cuddled and showed plenty of affection. I felt secure. Leading up to the pregnancy it was rough for us both, I was sick and dealt with a lot of mental health issues, which left little time for intimacy. Although we did have s*x on occasion during pregnancy when sickness got better. After bio daughter was born, it was hard adjusting and we argued a lot.

Possibly a competitive situation with the SD

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I think I’m starting to notice some possible competition from teen SD and or possible mini wife thing going on. Little signs here and there have popped up before, but I just attributed it to issues with the BM. Now I’m starting to notice more because she’s at home with us more. Maybe she is just being overly helpful. Like with bio baby who is 1, sd will give drinks or food that haven't been approved yet (a concern because of unknown allergies). Today went to the doc SD sat right next to DH, and there were no other chairs close with the baby.

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Seriously wtf....

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Recently I've been having vivid dreams about an ex lover. I've known him since I was 15. I've been with my DH for the past six years. Before I was with my DH I was with the ex on and off for four years. We weren't really official. When I had gotten with my DH all sexual contact was completely cut with the ex, but we'd still talk from time to time. Once my husband and I got married I cut off all contact. 
 

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I’m so tired....ready to throw in the towel

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*lol*I can’t do this constant push pull effect with DH anymore concerning my SD. I’m exhausted, I’ve done so much for him and SD and get no appreciation for any of it. I know I know, SMs are the most under appreciated women and I shouldn’t expect to get a Thank you. However, it would feel great to hear my DH or someone say I SEE YOU. He takes everything out on me that he should have been giving to BM. Every time I say something to DH about SDs behavior or I try and correct it, he acts like I have no business saying anything and that I’m the blame for the drama.

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