SO birthday
Ignore the rant. I feel like I'm ruining him day. I'm just exhausted. I haven't had a break since I became a stepmom let alone a mom mom. I'm tired of no being prioritized. I'm tired of having to baby everyone in the house through cleaning the house. If I don't it doesn't get done and my stress and anxiety goes through the roof. It's getting harder and harder to not be a total jerk when it comes to basic every day tasks. I'm tired of telling him that his son should go to the bathroom and the dishes should be done and his bed should be made BEFORE he starts getting ready for bed. My laundry hasn't been done since my son was born. My bedroom is a mess because I put myself last. I'm just so tired and I can't control my attitude anymore. My meds aren't helping anymore. I just want a day when everything is clean and I don't have to talk him step by step.
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It's not that he doesn't
It's not that he doesn't clean. He just has to have someone tell him to do it all the time. I shouldn't have to tell an adult that when the trash is overflowing that it needs to go out. I shouldn't have to say that his dog needs to be brushed and the house needs to be vacuumed because of all the shedding. I shouldn't have to tell him when the baby is hungry or tired when I've already told him the basic schedule. I shouldn't have to tell him that sheets and blankets need to be washed more often.
He has a special needs son. I'm not going to shampoo the carpets/furniture every day. He's 13 and he gets so stuck in his iPad that he just pees wherever he is. I shouldn't have to tell him that his son needs to do more than just be glued to a screen.
I'm sure his excuse would be that I'm home all day and I want laundry done a certain way. The least he could do it wash his lunch dishes when he comes home to an empty sink. He could put away some of the clean laundry even if it's just his.
Theres a lot that we could both do. I'm just tired of it all. I've missed out on so much of my sons life already because of his ex's petty BS. I've been with their dad for three years and we don't have a single family picture together. I'm the one that encourages him to have his son(SS13) video call his mom on the weekends. I have to sit in my own house and act like I'm not here. I'm constantly sorting through SD11 clothes and sending back clothes that are too small because her mom doesn't do it. The girl wears an 8 in women's jeans and she still sends her here in girls 12-14. She's wearing underwear with poop and period stains too.
I've stepped up where they have failed and I'm still the bad guy.
Wow that is a lot to deal
Wow that is a lot to deal with on top of also having a new baby.
It is so frustrating when men can't look at the house around them and figure out what needs to be done. do you have a place in your house where you can put a list of some of the tasks and chores that need to happen pretty much every day? if you find yourself constantly telling him what to do in order for something to get done this might simplify it and you can just tell him hey can you do some things off the board for me?
His kids sound disgusting. I hope he is helping with the baby because it sounds like he's totally checked out of helping with the older ones.
We make lists all the time.
We make lists all the time. There was a list that we made with the kids on Friday with maybe 20 items on it. I think only 3 were completed and that's because with told him to do them. He's still working on one of them. That was planning HIS birthday dinner with HIS friends. His birthday was yesterday and he wanted to spend time with friends today because the kids went home to their moms. I told him to contact them weeks ago and to finalize details on Friday. He called them last night. At 8pm. He just told me that he still doesn't know what time we're meeting or who needs a ride.
His kids need to be babied too. He has to sit there and watch them clean their rooms or they don't do it. He did that this weekend and I was still picking up after them today. He only takes care of the baby when I tell him he should or he cries.
Restaurants just reopened in
Restaurants just reopened in my area..he just called for reservations for dinner but I had to tell him to do it. I can't deal with today.
His mother would claim abuse
His mother would claim abuse if we went to the extreme on screen time or ever put him back in a diaper. I wish it were that easy.
He's 13 and nonverbal with
He's 13 and nonverbal with downs and autism. He's not just your typical teen. He knows better but there are zero consequences for anything at his moms house. It took him until this year for her to get him to eat something other than pre packaged food and to get him potty trained. I had to start that at our house and she took that as me parenting her kids and did everything to out do us. She screams abuse whenever she can with him because he can't tell you either way.