Opinions/help please
I live in Alabama where child support goes until 19yo. My SS is 18. DH has had custody for the past 7 years. BM has been undermining our parenting efforts for a long time & putting SS in the middle. There has been no communication between BM & DH for 6 months (she changed her phone number & address but didn't give them to DH). After a fight between SS & I about schoolwork/graduation, he has finally pulled the "I'm 18" card, packed his stuff, and moved in with his mom. We are okay with him living with her, but now she wants child support, which we cannot afford. We have a new baby & I am not working. Plus we feel she doesn't deserve child support anyway. She encouraged the divide between SS and I/DH. Then welcomes him with open arms when he runs from us. She says she informed DHR & school of his address change yesterday (a message that was sent thru SS), so I'm sure DH will be receiving court documents soon. Should we be worried?
If she takes your DH to court
If she takes your DH to court, lay out all the facts. 1) you don't work so he is the sole provider. 2) you have a child together. 3) you've maintained sole custody for 7 years. You'll need to provide proof of all of the above: tax documents, proof that you've had SS for 7 years, pay stubs, etc.
They will likely order CS for the next year but if you provide all the facts, it may impact how it's calculated to make it more reasonable.
Did BM ever pay DH child
Did BM ever pay DH child support?
At least here, she would absolutely get the child support until he turns 19.
yes, she has been court
yes, she has been court ordered to pay child support for the whole 7 years, we haven't been using it since he moved out (3 weeks ago). but DH makes a lot more than she does so I'm afraid they would give her more than we can afford.
Well - might want to redo
Well - might want to redo your budget. At least it's for less than a year.
Yes if BM filed for CS he
Yes if BM filed for CS he will have to pay, the courts don't care if you are unemployed and he has another child to support, legally he is obligated to support all his children. Most states have a website with a calculator where you can plug in incomes and amount of time with child and it will give you a rough estimate.
Unfortunately your children
Unfortunately your children dont count unless there is a court order putting them on the books as a required debt. She could get child support but you have to also consider a couple things:
1. The boy is a teen and if he pulled the "Im an adult" card with yall then you can count on him doing it to her who hasnt been there and doesnt know him like yall do. And if you catch him bunking at a friends/girlfriends house for an extended amount of time then yall can argue he isn't a dependent of bm so she doesnt get child support.
2. With Covid court is wayyyyyyy behind. Like months behind and court dates/zoom dates are crammed to the max already so yall will have to go to mediation first before even getting in front of a judge.
3. It will take a few months for yall to get in front of a judge to change custody and even then the process of getting child support hearing so child support will be stopped for her, ordered for him and then set up will leave BM with about what? 6 months to collect before he's 18, if that. And thats if she is caught up on what she should have paid yall. If she owes yall child support then it will cancel out or he will be credited for the months he has to pay her.
File for child support now.
File for child support now. At least here you can file even if you are married, but I would consider legally seperating to ensure BM was not able to disrupt our lives The one who gets there first gets the biggest piece of the pie. It also ensures your child is counted. he will have to pay f she is up to date, but this will limit the impact.