Dear Valued Users,
It's with a heavy heart that we announce the permanent closure of StepTalk.org on August 31st, 2025.
This decision wasn't an easy one. For over twenty years, StepTalk has been a source of support for stepparents around the world! However, over the years, the costs associated with maintaining and upgrading the site to remain secure, meet current standards and maintain availability have become unsustainable.
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I would stay out of it. It's
I would stay out of it. It's his money, and he's fighting for his child. Accusations of abuse are serious so it's not a legal action where he should be going pro se. Now, if he expects you to pay his legal fees, or to pick up his share of expenses because all his money is going to legal fees, that's another story.
Is his ex usually high conflict? Does she have a history of taking him to court? Does he think her accusations are related to him having a baby with someone else? Are you a relatively new girlfriend or have you been with him for awhile?
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Yeah, BM is high conflict with a history of taking her bull shit lies to court. He didn't even try to get the protection order against him removed because he wanted to stay out of court. I had to get an injunction against harassment against her. Both were dropped in a written legal agreement that we made to stay away from each other. Her accusations aren't related to me having a baby, but she has gotten more hostile since she has known I was pregnant. We got together after they separated and have been with each other for a year. However, I don't see that as relevant considering she has a history of cheating with multiple men.
My questions about baby/new
My questions about baby/new relationship were because some of these crazy BMs ramp it up when their exes have new girlfriends or new children. It sounds like this one is reading from the HCBM playbook. You could be in for a wild ride. Just know your limits and what you're willing to expose yourself and your child to.
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I totally agree with you. Her crazy came out after she found out I was pregnant. Yet, she continued to cheat with the same guy she was with prior to her divorce being announced when her husband found out.
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It isn't marital income and I refuse to get married until these custody issues are resolved. His lawyer is going to try to make the divorce decree more specific so that no further issues arrise.
As far as my income, I'm widowed and my income will be going towards my children. I don't have the luxury of supporting someone else's child. My infant son only has one parent to rely on. On the other had my boyfriends son has a mom who is a nurse that makes $55,000 a year plus $1,600 a month in VA benefits. Then dad that makes over six fugues plus VA benefits.
Well, is he paying his share
Well, is he paying his share of your household bills? Is he able to provide for your new child? if so, then yes, let him pay it - for now. But he should decide how far he wants to take court action, because if you go down that rabbit hole, you can end up paying 40-50K before you even know what happened.
Fighting abuse allegations is an emergency, in my mind. But endless court battles over stupid crap is NOT an emergency. If he has a high-conflict BM, he may end having to give up some of what he wants to stay out of court. As long as he's not giving up his child entirely, he should be prepared to do that.
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That's my concern is that he is going to be one of those people paying tens of thousands of dollars. Her allegations don't have evidence attached to them. She had a protection order dropped over the same allegations so that hurts her case. The child support she may be able to win, but it will be reduced once our child is born in July.
I don't think they reduce it
I don't think they reduce it much if at all for the birth of another kid.
It's hard to stay out of the court quicksand.
The reduced CS a whopping $10
The reduced CS a whopping $10.00 a month for my DS. Most states don't even factor it in. Do not count on this. Whoever files first wins, unfortunately.
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It is reduced in the state I live in.
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He has one 8 year old son with her.
Priorities
I would rather scrimp and save and eat peanut butter and chicken soup for months and months on end and then have a child abuse allegation stuck to my name. I would also make some pretty big sacrifices to ensure that all of my children spend time with me not just the one that's due soon. The child exists and BM is high conflict. Money spent in the early days is your only hope of peace in your later years.
He needs fo fight a Child Abuse Allegation
Or he could be put on the sex offender registry. That will effect you snd your family for ever .
If you don't actually go to court like she plays it until court date then withdraws complaint because of no evidence it should not cost that much. Going to actually court having a trial eats the money .
But saying that. There a limit of future Court cost. Because these woman will not stop there games
Was there a forensic exam and
Was there a forensic exam and interview performed on the child?
Where do things stand regarding the picture that you have of BM stealing/ breaking and entering your home?
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No forensic interview has not been performed yet because BM cannot agree the a specific therapist. DCS is currently handeling this dilemma.
I got a court agreement stating that she is not to come to my house and vice versa. So that at least keeps my mind at ease that she will not be entering my home anymore.
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I bought a gun already and do plan on getting a concealed carriers permit. My boyfriend told me she is a terrible shot, suprising because she is ex-military.
Fair warning: Family court is
Fair warning: Family court is a long hellish ride. It's like a never ending root canal
I mostly have to agree with rags. What should happen is not necessarily what does happen. Outrageous things can go down in family court. My Hubby had 50/50 joint custody when we married, still paid huge CS each month even though BM had plenty of cash and all expenses were split. Regardless of circumstances or job loss, the CS only ever went up. That didn't end until BM got herself arrested and family services placed SS with us full time. Hubby has been in court every 2 to 3 years since ss was born and he's always gotten a lawyer. I would estimate he's probably paid somewhere around $20,000 for lawyers at this point? And we still have 2 years to go. But not fighting is as good as surrender. Plus without a lawyer it's more likely you'll end up paying large amounts of CS. Lawyers are worth the money in family court.
My father's recently divorced
My father's recently divorced with her second wife, my ex-stepmother.