No end in sight
SS10 has been here since Thanksgiving. I have managed to get him to the end of the school year ( fully online) without failing although had it not have been for me he would have. It seems that he is here to stay. BM has fully dropped out of the picture with the exception of calling SS once a month for a quick visit. I wasn't prepared to start parenting all over again when I met DH and this is really more that I bargained for. But it is what it is.
SS10 is a slob, he is lazy and he walks around the house with his phone in his face watching YOUTUBE. He constantly eats and leaves his dirty dishes all over the house so during the day when I am working I can go around behind him cleaning up after him. He doesn't ever flush the toilet or wash his hands. I am repeatedly saying DID YOU WASH YOUR HANDS? His reply is an eye roll.
DH is only ever worried about how SS looks and if his hair is combed. That is the last thing I care about.
I am constantly telling him to stay out of our bedroom, we have an adjustabel bed which means to him it's a play thing plus he is always messing up the bed after I make it and has ruined my down comforter with orange hot chip dust from his hands.
If I say something to SS and DH thinks I am being snarky he calls me on it yet DH has something to say about everything. if he has to pick something up from the floor everyone know that he did it.
Hoping it gets easier but I doubt it will.
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Comments
No, it won't get easier
No, it won't get easier because you have a husband who is a horrible father (and not that great of a husband).
Why in the world have YOU
Why in the world have YOU taken over raising SS for both DH and BM? Let DH deal with his kid and pick up after him.
With my SDs who are 50/50 it
With my SDs who are 50/50 it's a lot easier for me to disengage.
But if they were here full time I would absolutely have a serious discussion with DH about raising kids to be confident, well adjusted, self-sufficient, caring adults. And to make sure that everyone is on the same page - if not I would not stay.
You need to make sure your DH hears you and steps up as the DAD. You are not the mom! And if he undermines you continuously, you will never ever have any say in anything to do with SS.
What's so great about your
What's so great about your husband that you're willing to put up with this? He's a failure as a parent, he is not supportive of you and it doesn't even seem like he appreciates you. The kid is likely taking a cue from his father. So why put up with this misery if there's no end in sight?
A lot of people come here and
A lot of people come here and complain about inappropriate use of electronics. Maybe I'm old, but we didn't have any of that crap when we were kids. What's so effing hard about just *gasp* taking the effing phones/tablets/games/tvs away?? *gasp*
And just put an effing lock on your door. *gasp*
And stop buying effing junkfood. *gasp*
JFC.
"Bobby is running around with a loaded gun, whatever should I do?"
"Bobby is running around with
"Bobby is running around with a loaded gun, whatever should I do?"
Well, buy him more ammunition, of course!
Your DH is the problem
He dump SS on you, making you take care of him. But takes SS side. ????? Time to tell DH to find some child care for SS. Out of your home. SS is only home when DH is to take care of him..put a lock on your bed room door. Thai the phone away from SS. Disconnect the WiFi.
Its war!!