I don't think they even realize they're being jerks

Ah the end of June this is always peak season for SD and my in-laws to be jerks. Usually it's just directed at my DH but this year they tried it with me too.

SD's birthday is usually celebrated the weekend after Father's Day. BM for some reason or another has always prevented my DH from ever seeing SD on Father's Day. She prevents him from seeing her on her birthday as well. If SD calls my DH on Father's Day it's usually to briefly say Happy Father's Day and then let him know what whe has done with her stepdad and grandfather and what gift she would like him to send to her for her birthday. I generally count the end of June as a lovely time free from SD! My husband is usually in an understandably mopey mood. Since we had kids I have tried to do some nice Father's Day things for him.

My military DH is not going to be home for Father's Day or the weekend after. My in-laws are somehow managing to get SD for both of those weekends. It's as if BM and SD agreed with these dates specifically because my DH would not be able to be there. I'm invited however because I have the cute photogenic babies that they want to play (take pictures) with. My in-laws have invited me to go to an amusement park for SD's birthday. I have a toddler and an infant. I can see a mile away that I would just be the bag man for everybody else having a good time. I would just be stuck with my kids and a stroller and carrying everybody else's stuff. This particular amusement park does not have little kid rides so the only reason they want me to come is to hold their crap! No thanks.

Of course by refusing to go I am choosing to skip seeing SD for her birthday. It's really a no-win situation for me if i cared what they thought about me. But I don't! F them all.

Can't wait till my husband gets home and they send him a bunch of pictures of them having fun with his daughter and without him. They do this kind of thing all the time. I think he should just go no contact with his family and let them be the ones to pay child support. They have effectively cut him out of his own family and then periodically rub it in as if they are trying to keep him involved after the fact.

SeeYouNever's blog
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Shitastic People

Funny how you know them so well and what to expect when. These toxic people luv luv any holiday to exclude, or include just to make it hard on you. Wonder if they go to bed exhausted nightly. After all they spend all their time thinking up ways to hurt people. Exhausting.

I would stay far away. Enjoy your bundles of joy and rid yourself of these shitstorm people.

I'm sure they sleep fine.

I'm sure they sleep fine. People like that just live their life selfishly and it hurts the people around them. They are the center of their own universe and I'm sure they've convinced themselves that seeing SD without my DH around is somehow doing him a favor.

It's really about time that I create some nicknames for these people to at least make these stories a little more interesting for you guys!

Bag Lady

I doubt that this is all part of some master plan to subjugate your husband to the altar of the failed first family attempt. Hes not going to be there. They just want to do something for the kids bday...

But - yeah an infant and toddler would be a chore. With all kinds of watching others have fun, and dealing with crowds is never fun either. It sounds like the best thing is to hang with kiddos somewhere you enjoy. Leave yourself off the roster for the weekend.

same situation

I understand where you are coming from, SeeYouNever. For years, my in-laws have edged out DH so they can spend time and try to parent SD (which has not turned out well). They are super cozy with BM and my two sons with DH are usually ignored/not included. If they would butt out, it would be a better situation. I blame DH somewhat, he could put his put down. Being a SM it is a damned if you do,a nd damned if you don't situation. Do what makes you happy. If you would rather stay home, then decline the invitation. Who cares what they think? SD is not your child.