Bring this up or not?
My sd13 was meant to be coming to our house on sunday. On Sunday morning bm rang dh to say sd has COVID so couldn't come. Prior to this dh asked if I would watch sd on Monday while he worked as he couldn't have the day off. I said no. But I think he thought I was joking as sd was still coming.
Sd then rang dh upset because she couldn't come over and she was going to stay until Thursday. Obviously this isn't happening now so the point is moot but the thought that I was told about 1 day that I refused turning into 4 days because that's what sd wanted to do without any input from me is irritating me.
obviously she isn't here and no harm done at all with regards to me watching her or anything so wondering whether to bring this up with dh? I'm at home anyway with my own children so technically it wouldn't have been a massive deal to watch an extra but feel a bit like I had no choice in whether I watched someone else's kid.
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I think it is important that
I think it is important that your husband know where your boundaries are. Maybe don't bring it up right away but definitely talk to him about the importance of being asked vs. just being expected.
First off SD has Covid so she
First off SD has Covid so she shouldn't be going anywhere. Second just because you are home does not mean you are a built in baby sitter for your DH. If he expects you to be a built in babysitter then he needs to start paying you the going rate, which I think is about 15-20 dollars an hour.
She should be quarantined.
She should be quarantined.
Exactly. SD has COVID so she
Exactly. SD has COVID so she should be quarantining for 10 full days and not going between households at all for that entire period.
You are not your DH's babysitter. If he can't take the day off, then he needs to make other arrangements. While I understand you may normally be willing to watch her, it doesn't make it an automatic expectation that you have to.
To make it clear she was
To make it clear she was supposed to be coming BEFORE she got COVID but was cancelled due to her having to isolate hence why she did not come.
I think the point of this
I think the point of this blog and what is bothering you is that the child, your SD, is in control of the schedule and not you. Trust me I get it! The thought of me being last to know when SD is or isn't going to be here drives me crazy! Luckily for me both DH and BM are so rigid with their visitation schedule that I've rarely had to deal with this but just the other day I found out that SD is getting out of school every day at 1:20 versus 3 PM. (Only because she was telling DH her schedule) She's a senior this year and taking one college course online so she gets to get out early. OK no biggie but I'm sitting here wondering what is Wednesday going to bring. Is she going to be coming here right after school gets out or going to her moms and then coming here later? God knows no one will give me a heads up I just have to sit and wait and see.
It’s your home
You are right to know and have a say in when SD comes over. If DH is working he must arrange child care for SD
SD11 comes and goes as she
SD11 comes and goes as she pleases basically. DH used to ask me first if it "was alright" because I was taking her to and from school. This is also when she was about 8 or 9. Well the free rides stopped when SD came over unannounced. I also stopped buying groceries for her, as I never knew when she was here or not. Your SD is 13. I would still bring it up to DH. But I would also go about my life as I normally would. If you have plans with your own kids, keep them. Don't alter them just because you SD comes over. She is 13 and should be able to help herself (quick meals, has a cell phone, etc.)
I have a 4 month old and we go about our lives the exact same way. I don't make special outings or activities just because she shows up. I think it's important for SKs to realize the world doesn't stop because of them.