Drop-offs for us consisted of SS opening the door of the car, getting out, everyone saying, "bye!" and DH waiting until SS got into the house.  What does he need 90 minutes for? And yes, he can drop her off at the side of the road and she can walk in, if BM doesn't have a driveway.

You are not being unreasonable.  If your H wants to spend an additional 30-90 minutes with his daughter, he should do it at your house or another location, NOT at BM's house.  After the first time I let my husband know I was not comfortable with him spending time with BM (and this was early on when we were dating), he stopped spending time with her beyond what was required to exchange the kids or occasionally discuss them.  Exchanges now mostly take place at the bus stop, but when they take place at one home or the other, it rarely takes more than 2 or 3 minutes, and my skids are younger than yours.

Your H and BM are the ones who "need to learn."  Stick to your boundaries and do not let your H make you think you're being unreasonable, because you are not. 

Thirty to ninety minutes? Ten minutes? Why is even 5 minutes necessary? My DH dropped his daughter off without saying one word to BM, he certainly didn't hang out.

And, yes, eventually he didn't even walk her to the door. He didn't push her out while the car was still moving, but after a certain age, she didn't need her hand held, anymore (he just watched her until she was inside).

According to your other post, BM wants your husband back and sends him family pictures and pics of the two of them from the past, which he does not shut down, and now this? No wonder your SD thinks you are in the way of her parents are getting back together.

Your husband is just flat out WRONG.

When DHs kids were visiting as teens, we'd drive up, they'd come out of the house, get in the car and we'd leave. When we did drop off, we pulled into driveway, they got out of car and went in house. It was a rare occasion for BM to even look out the window let alone come outside. When she'd pick up or drop off here, we followed the same program.

It's even weirder what she is posting. Why is she even on his page????

BM wants your DH at her house for SD birthday parties and any other holidays. You are not out of line, your DH needs to make boundaries with BM, because this will get worse. 

If BM is upping her game to get him back you need to up yours.  Cut him off sexually until he can clarify where his loyalty lies.  His top responsibility is for his child but his first PRIORITY should be his spouse and marriage.  No reason for you to be a doormat anymore.  Stop being nice about it.  IMO any self respecting woman would not put up with this crap.  

Crazy hcgubm moving to the next state over an hour away. 
 

ss was a teen and hubby had primary custody of him so ss helped with his sisters belongings. Hubby waited in the car. After the nasty divorce and her awful abusive and threatening family, hubby never wanted to see her.

they divorced mid 2009, he has not seen her once since the divorce court. Its been 12.5 yrs now and hubby would love to never see her ever again or be in same space as her..

even when exwife after kidnapping bith sd's and cutting off contact 5.5 yrs, had eldest sd now 23 message daddy demanding bio mum was ok and normal again and that he needed to meet them in her home that affair hubby (the guy she was whoring to whilst married to my husband) owned.

hubby was uncomfortable with this and refused all requests.

yup bio mum was delusional to think after the abuse, kidnapping their daughters, going to witch doctors to do voodoo black magic crap against my husband, calling me a half naked whore to hubbys sister when she found out he was dating me, yup she thought hubby would be crazy enough to see her..

lets not forget she had sd23 tell daddy bio mums marriage likely wasn't gonna survive. Typical narc bio mum has to cover all bases. Thinks she can manipulate hubby into dumping me for her again. Its laughable for us..,

Something lime that would have really bothered me.

Oh my GOD, should he just drop her off by the side of the road and leave?!

Um, yes. Maybe not on the road, but at the curb. Or in the driveway. He watches her walk in the door safely, waves, then goes home to his WIFE.

Sometimes when i drop my daughter off, her dad is in the garage or driveway. I'll say hi, maybe bring up something pressing that we should talk about. All without leaving my car. Why the f would i want to prolong the chore of drop-off any longer than i need to? Why does your DH want to? Hill to die on. 

Being unreasonable at all. I don't blame you for feeling uncomfortable, especially as she's clearly trying to entice him in some way. 

Dh here used to enter bms house, but mainly as she was using him to put ss to bed ect. 

I called time on it the day she decided to cry on Dh shoulder over her grandpa being taken into care. Sorry lady find some other mug. Ask your Dh if he would like an ex of yours entering his home and being over friendly with you! 

When my SD was younger, my husband would carry her to BM who would be waiting at the end of her fence during drop offs.  There was no going inside her house.  The whole exchange probably took 30 seconds or less.  Now that she is elementary school aged, he just waits in the car until she's in the house.  What your husband doing is really excessive and in my opinion disrespectful to you and your marriage.

So why don't you just start going with them?  My DH bent over backwards IMO to keep the peace with BM at times. However, one comment from me about this situation you have, and he would have stopped it or welcomed me to go.