Ok this is SUPER weird!

Forums:

Ok so HCBM and her mother both have had their depositions and both and completely convinced that DH is suing for full custody. We literally have never made that statement and he is suing for 50/50 and a PC and reduction in child support since when they did the calculations she was making zero income and now she's making 6 figures (but of course still expects DH to pay what her was paying)

But, in both of their depositions they kept saying they are shocked that DH wants full custody, why does he want the kids to live with him full time, ect.. when attorney asked gma what she thinks full custody entails she said "the kids live with DH full time and he decides when or even IF they get to see their mother. The kids love their mother and she's a great mom. I don't understand why he wants to take them away from her"

So, this is the message that HCBM is relaying to people and the messed up part? She actually truly believes it! HCBM stated that she read it on the court documents. (It doesn't exist) What in the world??

It's Simple

You say it enough, you begin to believe your own lies. Just like parents can greatly influence their kids with words, people can do it to themselves. This is DHs kids. Their mom would spew a narrative so much, the kids started believing it. Add in the adult kids followed along, the younger ones really had no chance.

Like this one. BM left DH in another country, coming back to the states with 2 younger kids, under the premise, she was coming on vacation. Then she stayed to let them have a stay in USA schools that were better (actually not, they were in American expat schools overseas). The older kids stayed with him overseas and knew exactly what was going on. After about 4 months, she filed for divorce. DH comes back to states, gets through divorce and meets me. All of a sudden, the kids are saying that DH left BM for me, including the (at the time) 28 year old. DH nearly came unglued when that idiot had the nerve to say that to DH in front of me. He was clear...your MOM divorced me. Yet, BM continued to spin that narrative, even to the school, until I had a great opportunity to clear up the matter, making her look like the crazy fool she was.

I've also seen this mindset in all of DHs kids. Always re-writing the story or history to fit their agenda. All you can do to combat this is to tell the truth whenever it comes up. It's frustrating but one thing DH told me during all this mess - those that love me and know me, KNOW THE TRUTH. Those that believe that mess don't know me and aren't worth the time of my worry.

I know this has been one frustrating journey for you. I wish I had the ability to send "peace" to you as you go through this mess. Sending you a virtual hug.

Thank you!!

Are you sure it was never in

Are you sure it was never in early court papers? Sometimes that's how attorneys start off and then back down to 50/50. That would explain why she's fighting like her life depends on it.

Nope. Never! Even our

Nope. Never! Even our attorney is like "what the heck is she talking about? We NEVER stated anything about full custody" it does make sense that she's fighting so hard with the thought in her head that he is trying to take the kids away from her but it's disturbing that she even thinks this! What is wrong with her? Also, fighting I get. The lying, false accusations and harassment I don't understand!

That's how she fights - to

That's how she fights - to win. The ends justify the means for her.

If that's the case, have DH

If that's the case, have DH offer to settle for what he really is asking for. Maybe she'll agree and you can be done.

He tried in mediation. As

He tried in mediation. As punishment for him asking for full custody (which he didn't) she offered even LESS time that he has now and she would not budge. The mediator came in and said "look I don't normally do this but I wouldn't feel right wasting your time. She is so unreasonable that you are never going to settle today so I am recommending we don't even continue. I have never in my 15 years of doing this have had anyone ask for some of the things she's asking for. This isn't going to go anywhere" shesh!

SO's BM did that, too. Told

SO's BM did that, too. Told everyone he was trying to take the kids from her. Even her iwn husband believes that, and believes I am the one pushing for SO to have full custody of both. Trust me, that is NOT what I want. We haven't had 24 hours alone together in 18 months.

So basically BM "believes"

So basically BM "believes" that DH is trying to get full custody of skids, even though it is clear he isn't, but BM is using that belief to try to revenge leverage lesser time than he already has.

Honestly, BM knows that DH is only requesting 50/50, but she has no other argument to try to reduce his current time, so she is trying to make him look like the bad guy going for full custody to justify her reduction and behavior. BM wants to reduce DH's time in hopes that it will keep CS close or equal to what she currently receives.

BM called exH screaming about

BM called exH screaming about him suing for Full custody. She never read past the first line. [PETITIONER] seeks custody of [CHILD].

Maybe these BMs really are

Maybe these BMs really are that dumb? But, if they have their own lawyers, wouldn't they have explained the situations to them, even if the BMs themselves can't understand the court documents by reading them themselves? SO's BM keeps telling everyone who will listen a completely false story about what's going on. She has a very good lawyer. There's no way she still doesn't get the situation, right? Right?!

Well that can't be the case

Well that can't be the case because the first word on her resume is "intelligent" HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

I know. I keep saying "isn't her lawyer pointing out that this isn't true??"

so bizarre

Regardless of the quality of the opposition's lawyer....

The appearance is that few in the toxic side of the mix ever read the CO. At all. Much less edify themselves by researching state stipulations or county supplemental rules, etc....

SpermGrandHag certainly never did. They would always go with the cheapest bottom feeder lawyer they could scrape up and my DW and I would go with the best of the best. We spent tons of money educating their idiot lawyers.

Remember, family law is the cash cow of the legal system. State and local government gets federal kick backs for nailing NCPs with CS orders. The bottom feeder family law "professionals" milk both sides for countless $tens of thousands. Few, if any, are actually interested in a quick and durable resolution.

DW and I had the CO memorized inside out, upside down, and backwards. We had an electronic scanned copy on our work hard drives along with a copy of the State regs, and the supplemental county rules for visitation and support. When an SpermLand # would show up on the caller ID at home, at work, etc... we would open an IM conversation, she would conference me in to the call, and I would feed DW chapter and verse as she pummeled SpermGrandHag during the Hags usual rant fests.

Our attorney was an absolute shark who clearly understood that he worked for us and that his job was to deliver the results we expected. He asked us a number of questions before he agreed to add us as clients.

1. Are you doing this to protect the best interests of your child or to punish BioDad?

2. Are you financially capable of funding this if it turns into a protracted legal campaign?

3. Are you willing to listen to my advice and recommended options if what you are attempting to accomplish is not possible or I do not think it to be right or ethical?

Yes, yes, and yes. We gave him a retainer on the spot.

We managed our own SpermClan battles. We used our attorney as an advisor. Once we added him to our team, the opposition was too petrified to do much other than be manipulative dicks. When we asked him to write a letter under his letter head and have it delivered by a delivery service they would shit a brick. then thew would go into "you are so mean!" victim mode.

They never figured out that it was all printed in black and white in the CO and supplemental regulations, etc... I can't count the number of times SpermGrandHag would get all butt hurt and spout "That is not in the court order!!!!" We would say, "call your attorney and ask them." We never told her to read it for herself. They never figured out that though we had a very expensive killer shark attorney, we never even consumed the original retainer until SS asked me to adopt him at 22yo. Our attorney gave us crap at the adoption hearing that he finally got his money out of us., Our adoption legal fee statement erased the final $200 of our initial retainer and we cut him a check for another $4K.

Know the CO, love the CO, roll up a copy of the CO and beat the opposition in the nose with it. Odds are, they will never even read it.

SpermGrandHag would ask the retired Judge who she was the housekeeper for about things related to SS and the CO. He never read the CO either and would "advise" her based on her highly skewed perceptions. :"The Judge said you can't do that!". "Umm, that's funny, the presiding Judge has never said that. What Judge are you talking about?"

Drive them nucking futz. And have fun doing it.

Satan lived in constant fear

Satan lived in constant fear of losing custody, because in her heart she knew she was a terrible mother. The only reason she had Killjoy was for the CS paycheck and she was desperate to keep that.

I think that's a big reason she raged so hard when I came into the picture. DH is a idiot but I am not. I had no interest in taking her kid away from her but she wouldn't leave us alone. A harassment desist case turned into the custody case because she just couldn't stop the harassment.

During the custody case she played the victim. She wanted Killjoy to believe we were trying to take her away completely, and she would never see her again. It's possible that was projection, because Satan wanted to eliminate DH from Killjoy's life, except for the money part, and she assumes everyone is a evil as she is. But it was also for sympathy from Killjoy and anyone else who would listen.

She was hoping Killjoy would be so afraid of never seeing her again that she would claim we were abusing her, like she was constantly trying to make her do. I think Killjoy secretly hated living with her. It wasn't conscience or love that prevented Killjoy from making false abuse claims, it was self preservation.

The weekend DH got custody we took Killjoy to a family party that happened to be that weekend. She was giddy and joyful, the first and only time I ever saw her act like a real kid. Days later, the PAS campaign resumed in earnest. I don't think she was expecting that. Like the rest of us, she expected her worthless lazy BM to go away. What really happened was more of the same torture.