Hello all,

I just wanted to post an update.  My last post was scary as I mentioned how my soon-to-be ex husband was getting physical.  That part has died down.  I am happy to state that I have fully disengaged from both him and his manchild.  Strangely, husband has been being super nice to me - I think he may sensed the change in my attitude.  He has no clue that I am interviewing for jobs or planning to leave.  I have another interview on Monday (a final interview - if they offer a job, I'm taking it, then I can find rental, get furniture ordered, etc).  I am not rude to husband or SS, no major behavioral changes for me, I simply stopped caring.  I already feel more free as I am not stressing over how SS21 acts or what he does or what his plan is (I know there is no plan for launching) or if I'll be getting any alone time with husband.  I don't engage at all with husband now.  I'm so ready to leave.  His niceness does nothing for me.  I'm not fooled by his behavior. 

Attorney has papers completed, will file on my word.  As there is nothing to contest, per attorney, divorce should go through without a hitch (no property, no joint accounts, no children, etc).  Husband will likely not get alimony as attorney said there's no reason why he can't work and adult SS will not be any kind of excuse for a judge to grant alimony.  I have successfully transferred my savings to my mom (this was done a while ago).  Attorney reassured me in this state that husband is very unlikely to get alimony.  However, if he wants to be a jerk, I will take him to court and drag it out for him as I have more money than he does and I can afford it.  :) 

As far as the lease, I am stuck.  The landlord will not work with me at all.  However, it will likely take 2 months for me to start a new job (credentialing, background checks, etc, for the line of work I'm in).  So that would put me at end of May, I have paid rent ahead through August, utilities are paid through October.  Worst case scenario, I fork out rent for 2 more months that would complete the lease obligation - a small price to pay for my freedom and not ruining my credit/rental history.  Also, attorney said that'll make it things less complicated and give my husband one less thing to cause problems about because the lease will naturally expire on its own and I will have to do nothing other than put utilities back in landlord's name.  If husb and loser son want to continue living there, THEY will HAVE to sign  lease in their names only AND get utilities (which will likely require huge deposits from them).  Also, if husband presses for alimony, it will look good for me having paid these two losers' living expenses through the end of the lease. I think husband's hands will be full trying to find employment and a place to live for him and manchild, so he won't have time, money or energy to fight me in court too much.  I have no clue what these two losers will do and I will admit, at first, I worried about them, like what will they do, how will they live.  But, I've been quite introspective lately, and I have replayed all the red flags that occurred early on, how I have been treated, things my husband has said to me that were mean, etc., and now I see how much I did for them, how I handed them both a nice life and they both sh*t on me.  So now?  I don't give a damn.  Not my problem.  They're adults.  They'll sink or swim, not at all my concern.  If I drive by a bridge and see them living under it, I will feel nothing (I'll be moving 6 hours away, so I won't be seeing them after I move). 

Anyway, I just wanted to update you all.  You all have been so very supportive and helpful.  I had no idea what I was experiencing in this horrible situation until I received clarity, kindness, and support from those of you who have had or are having the same issues. 

I will continue to keep you all updated.  Again, thank you to all of you who reached out and posted on my posts - you all made me feel better and did not criticize the mess I managed to get sucked into.  The red flags were there a long time ago, I just didn't see it until recently.  I needed some clarity and I got it here. 

Oh, and once I am good and gone, I'm going to put in a call to the marijuana card authority folks and let them know what hubby has been doing with his weed and who he is doing it with. 

Take care!