I had to share this because its kind of funny, but not. You know what I mean...

SD16 is one of those kids that, even though they do well in school and follow all the rules, their own parents don't even really like as a person. She is a future conservative princess of America - blonde, pumpkin spice latte swigging, yoga pants-wearing, little social critic. She loves asking people who serve her food "Did you WASH YOUR HANDS?" At age 6 her BM's horrid family had her asking us at Christmas "My present isn't name-brand so I KNOW it didn't cost as much as the REAL thing, but I still like it. Um. Thanks." Or "How much did your new car cost? Because my mama has a**** SUV and it costs way more than yours."  So yes, she is obsessed with money, fashion, reality TV and how many calories her granola bars have, and not much else is going on up there. We hoped she would grow out of it, but she didn't. Her dad used to glue silver dollars to the basement floor because "she has so much fun chipping away at them, trying to get them for her piggy bank." LOL. Little did she know her dad used industrial glue.

SD16 has a habit of escalating her speech speed and volume as she gets angrier, until you think your ears are being buzzed by a supersonic gnat with anger management problems.

So, yesterday her sister, SD18 was refilling the soap dispenser at the kitchen sink, while SD16 sat across from her at the breakfast bar. SD16 was telling a story to her sister, when all of a sudden her speech sped up to 3 TIMES AS FAST for about 5 seconds. This was mid-sentence, and she resumed her sentence immediately at normal speeds. It took me a minute to figure out what happened. I though she had a stroke. What she said in the middle of her sentence was "OH MY GOD YOU ARE SPILLING WATER ALL OVER THE COUNTER AND I JUST CLEANED IT WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING YOU ARE MAKING A HUGE MESS!" SD16 said this at such hypersonic speeds and intense volume that even her sister had trouble understanding her. Ironically, she just shared how awful it was to be trapped with her Grandma in rush hour traffic while Grandma flipped the F#$% out and shrieked obscenities at top volume. I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the bio grandma tree?

YIKES. I kind of feel bad for her future husband.  If one day he asks me "Is she always like this?" I will say "Not if you slip some Valium into her mashed potatoes. But beware....she hates lumps in her mashed potatoes."   (And no, I didn't do that, but there were nights when her dad encouraged her to take some Nyquil and go to bed early, when her anxiety was at its worst.)