the short answer is yes many people do.  some follow through on it.  but every situation is different.. what someone else can handle.. or their situation isn't yours or your tolerance.

My 2nd marriage's demise had a lot to do with my exSS and exH's behaviors. SS was ADHD and ODD and his father was a Narcissist and turned abusive.

It started with SOOOOO many issues with the SS though. He would get in trouble and his dad would get this dark look and want to know what ____ (Me, exH's sister, his mom, the teacher, BM) did to make him act that way. It was never that SS could just be doing something bad. It was always someone else's fault. He actually used to talk about how SS was the only thing in the world he  "owned". Talk about creepy.

SS's behavior kept escalating, exH's rage kept escalating it was just a nightmare. Can I blame it all on SS, hell no. exH was a horrible excuse for a man. Did SS help move things along more quickly- 100%!

For me, it wasn't just skids but they were a symptom. DH doted on me when it was just the two of us, but introduce something else shiny (friends, skids, hobby), then I was back burner until he wanted to engage again.

Nope. I had enough, drew a line, and he could choose divorce or therapy. Not negotiable. He knew I had the means and the will to leave if I so chose. He made a therapy appointment the next day and stuck with it, did the hard work, and I stayed.

But not because the dynamic between the dad and son. My DH is a supportive spouse and we are mostly on the same page whenever it comes to parenting the children. The thought only happens whenever I think about SS might not be able to launch. The thought of SS not being able to launch is so scary if I will have to live with him for the rest of my life. I needed the "leaving DH" as my exit from SS just so that I won't get into a panic attack. 

But every time I think about it I feel sad too. Because DH is a real nice person, i don't know why his son is like this. 

May I ask how many skids you have and what their ages are?  Most people put that info in their bio.

In general, for everyone in my life, regardless of biology or commitment, do they bring more joy than pain, overall?  If there is a rough patch, do we care enough, and are we able to compromise to resolve it?

I also think it's important to understand personality disorders.  There's a difference between a good person engaging in poor choices vs a disordered person who will never stop being inflexible and selfish.  Empathy is so important.

Every sitch is different, yet has the same commonalities.

At least on this board step life aint easy. Its constant drama and lowering your standards until those standards reach the depths of hell. At least for me.

I learned on here that my ex SD was not the main problemo, well she was a symptom, my ex DH was the biggest problemo. It can only work if you have a strong DH who has your back and shuts down the nonsense. Some folks on here have that, but many dont and they suffer or choose to leave.

Choices and changes are hard. 

Blessings

I left my ex and his manchild.  They were codependent, enmeshed and treated me terribly.  You can read my posts for the details.  I am so much happier being out of that situation.

The only insight I can offer is that if things don't seem right and you truly in your heart can't stand his daughter, you may want to reconsider your situation.  I had the same feeling in my marriage early on that things between dad and son were "not right."  I was quickly told to "mind your business" if I asked any questions or expressed any concerns (like dad not giving son ANY curfew when he was 16-17 and allowing son's girlfriend to be at our house all the time, the two of them unattended in the upstairs bedroom with the door shut).  My ex was extremely defensive when it came to his son and his cat, both of who were treated better than me. My ex husband made it crystal clear to me that his son came before me, was more important to me and if I had a problem with his son or cat, then I could just leave.  So I did.  It took me a while, but I did.

I also want to warn you not to count on SD moving out when she's of age.  My ex SS was 21 and had no intention of ever leaving the house and his dad was fine with that.

I hope things work out for you .... please take care of yourself.  Keep us posted!  **HUGS**

Eternal optimism and hope in potential without standards for delivery on performance is a waste ot time, effort, hope, and utimately one's life.

As a pragmatist, I can adjust and move forwared. If I were solely an optimist, I would be stagnant.

I truly hope your SO actually delivers. But do not rest your own happiness on that hope. Set the expectation, demand performance, and adjust your own plan for happiness accordingly as events unfold.

Good luck.

The problem is, your husband knows what he is doing is wrong. He knows parenting isn't always saying yes, but he is racked by guilt, so he gives a little, a little more, then more and the next thing you know his kid hates him and won't see him. I couldnt believe the posts on this site, over and over and over again, the exact same story. Maybe different details, but the basic thread is there. My story too. But one thing is for sure, it doesn't get better unless your husband gets his head out of his butt! Counseling might help, you leaving could help. But just. wishing and hoping isn't going to do it.