So my sister was divorced, a GREAT thing since she was with an abuser, 2 years ago (divorce was final a year ago, but they split a year earlier). She got her own place and my niece finished up high school then, she's now 19.5.  And she's now got issues that we are all familiar with and I'm advising her as best I can, with as much honesty as I can from an outside perspective!

* My sister allowed my niece's boyfriend to move in before she completed high school. No rent was requested. He is a nice guy, he does help out, he's clean. But STILL. I think it almost caused niece to not graduate high school; boyfriend is 2 years older, and didn't encourage studying. He does not go to college, which is fine, but doesn't encourage education overall. He does make a good living.

* My niece suffered abuse prior to the marriage split. She received counselling as a result until just over 18, her counselor recommended an adult counselor eventually because niece is mature and the counselor thought she'd benefit from the adult perspective. Neither my sister nor my niece has done anything about this to date (she needs it, and it's been ignored for 1.5 years now).

* Nieces uses marijuana regularly, and heavily. It has effected her health and IMHO, her thinking process. Sister ignores it and sets no boundaries.

* Niece and boyfriend took over sis's guest room and her "bonus room" - sis is annoyed by this but again, says nothing. She's annoyed with "roommates" and not haiving her space.

* Niece and boyfriend seem to be more companions than "kids"; "I love hanging out with them, (niece) is one of my best friends..."

* Niece has told my sis that my sis should buy X place for more space (for niece and boyfriend). I told sis directly "That is completely entitled, you know that and you are not doing that right...?" Which lead to revelations:

* Niece has been refusing to consider any college again, not even community college classes. She thinks she can make a living off these crazy ideas like making dog collars and selling them on ebay. Note that she has a BIG college fund my parents started so she'd be able to go for FREE for several years full time.

* Niece is not working full time like my sister required her to, more like part-time to 3/4 time, just an easy retail job.

* Niece and boyfriend only pay $400 TOTAL "rent" to my sister; and HE pays all of niece's portion, and apparently has been paying ALL her personal expenses - I was pissed at this as I've had talks with my sister about this AND my niece more than several times (i.e. never rely on someone else to pay your way, learn how to support yourself as an adult woman).

I told my sister, if she wants them out and things to change, that she doesn't have to kick them to the curb (she never will cold-turkey it) but she needs to start treating them like the ADULTS they are and that they need to learn to BE ADULTS. On their own FFS!  Yes, the guy she was dating WAS correct in saying she's "spoiled" - he was right!

* make a list of all the household costs and split it into 3. They need to start paying 2/3 of the household costs as of 3/1 because THAT'S reality in a house-share. They use 1/2 the house too, so this is more than fair.

* niece needs to either work full time, pay her own phone bill and car insurance, or be in school full time.

* If the above 2 are not agreed to by the young adults, then a move out date is declared.

* If the above IS agreed to then they should move out by the end of 2023; this will give them more than enough time to save up for their own place (they live in an expensive area but they know how much they need to rent - my sister has looked this up!).

* If neice goes to college full time, then maybe maybe they can stay with boyfriend paying full market rent and neice paying maybe a reduced cost. Counseling should be part of this requirement.

At least my sister is questioning this arrangement now!  Thank god!  EVERYONE sees this for what it is, they are using her for a very cheap and easy place to live for as long as possible.