My Head Is Exploding RN
Ive re-read my previous blogs, as well as the comments. But I need to suck on some sour grapes for a small bit, before moving on...
Husbands last day at work was yesterday. They are cleaning out 30 years of tools and STUFF. Some of which Husband thinks is useful or that he can liquidate quickly. He still hasnt seen what his "severance" is and hes getting last check today (?)
SO, as we were unwinding from our day, Husband mentions that Toxic Troll is now settling her "head case".
Mini background: Toxic Troll BM hit her head on some metal bars at the school where she worked with autistic children. She got herself a lwyer, and has been working on her "head case" these last 4-5 years. There were 2 years she didnt work, because injury, but somehow managed to go on short trips to disneyland and Hawaii, and other places. Shes working now.
OK, so back to Husband mentioning the settlement. They want to settle because they dont want to continue paying her medical expenses and legal fees tend to pile up. Guess how much?
$21,000
yup. 21K.
And somehow she qualifies for section 8 housing vouchers. For the Beach Apartment they still have to walk through...
Major sour grapes right now. Thank you for this opportunity to get it all out there.
Oh, and to add fuel to the fire, TT asked to buy one of our cars. The BMW SUV that I am going to trade Husband for. His answer to her was "you should buy something else" because he doesnt want something that he will be asked to work on.
Now I can ascend into a better place...
- CLove's blog
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Comments
Toxic troll IS a head case,
Toxic troll IS a head case, and karma will get her one way or another.
Karma bus has no schedule
that I can count on.
But I will just be happy doing me...
The $21k will go fast
Don't give it another thought except the $21k will buy you some peace and quiet for awhile as TT runs thru it. She will be back to the usual hand-to-mouth in no time.
shes already looking for another car
Thats going to cost about 5-10k...
SO we shall see.
I predict that the move to beach town will happen, kid will want to stay there full time, and maybe a trip or two...a new car...some new clothes...
yes. Peace and quiet.
I’m with JRI!
I’m with JRI!
Clove, howsa’ bout you young’uns start listening to us oldsters who’ve been around the block more than once?! Comparing your splendid self to the fat, nasty, child-choking, ‘ho that your husband managed to break away from, is absurd.
Don’t even think about her recent, illusory success. It derives from cheating, lying and castles in the air. And yup, Clove, we ST old-timers know you well and need to keep reminding you that there is ‘no contest’ between you and TT. Hon, a happy life is about integrity, honesty and decency, all of which you have in abundance. TT? Not so much.
child choking 'Ho
Ho ho ho
Yes, Integrity, Honesty, Decency.
Thank you for that gentle smack with your velvet hammer
let's make those grapes into
let's make those grapes into wine so we can drink it. it super sucks when someone who doesn't even do the bare minimum seems to be constantly rewarded for their crapulance. It just sucks.
Chardonnay
please
Thanks for listening and responding.
While her getting 21K is
While her getting 21K is irritating AF, it's only 21K that will last her all of 20 minutes and then it will be gone, just be thankful it's not you who had to pay her that 21K.
Irritating - yes...!
Shes already looking at ways to spend it - on cars etc. Id hope shed put some aside for SD16almost17 Power Sulks college/car fund..
She may have $21,000, but she
She may have $21,000, but she's still Toxic Troll, failed parent, failed spouse, burden to society. Isn't it much, much better to be CLove, even with no Section 8 beach apartment and no $21,000? OF COURSE IT IS! Let it go - she's still a loser not worthy of the space she takes in your head.
I must admit
I definitely have given way too much thought and energy to that vapid vaccuous vortex of toxic energy.
It would be easy to forget her if it werent for SD16almost17 Power Sulk's reminding me.
Lol.
.......vapid vaccuous vortex of toxic energy..
Anonymous tip
I'm thinking.... anonymous tip to the good ol IRS audit department, aaand.....low income housing board. They need to know about her windfall, and I don't think she will tell them. On the other hand, you might want to disengage from it altogether, for your own sanity.
Funds such as this are not
Funds such as this are not taxable income. But they certainly would count for free housing, etc.
Id so love to tip off
But I almost feel like her karmic energy will come back around somehow.
Disnegagement is my best solace.
My understanding is that law suit setlements are not taxable.
If I recall correctly.
But a call to Section 8 Housing might shit can her beach living fantasy.
21k isn't a lot of money. I'd
21k isn't a lot of money. I'd not let it bother me. Her qualifying for low income housing is likely unrelated to her getting settlement. But sure you could report her but who really cares. I don't want low income housing regardless if it's on the beach or under the bridge. Our BM lived in section 8 briefly. It didn't bring peace or happiness to her life. DH might want to limit conversations with her to kids' topics or maybe stop reporting to you if it upsets you. Personally I'd disengage. Don't let BMs life events upset or destabilize you.
Peace and happiness
Thats what counts.
Im not going to stew on it, just having a "sour grapes moment". Whew. We definitely should limit those convos.
Good riddance if you ask me.
Good riddance if you ask me. I always wish the BMs to get the most money and benefits they can and to have the most custody of their crazy children
I would start suggesting that visitation should be reduced to standard and holidays based on the distance where their new home is....
If I were you, my goal would be to reduce the absence of the children to prepare for the big 18 when court ordered visitation ends...
I wouldnt care about anything else. Losing a job happens all the time. You have 3 days from your last day to apply for unemployment benefits even if its with severance pay. While unemployed, you can use your benefits to get free trainings/certifications to improve your skills and increase your job opportunities
Unemployment benefits can last up to a year depending on how long you were employed by your former employer
I have a feeling
I have a feeling that once Toxic Troll and Power Sulk move into the beach town, where she also goes to high school and she also has all her friends and spends most of her time anyway, I have a feeling that naturally this will happen.
Things will come up. Husband will be flexible. He has stated that he is keeping the visitation schedule as is, but I think when the time comes, he will give up the time naturaly.
Good to know about the unemployment deal. He hasnt filed for it yet as he is still helping out with cleaning, so technically not done yet.
Our only visitation schedule experience is long distance.
It seems that LD visitation schedules significantly reduce the drama and much of the influence that the toxic opposition has on the quality side of the equation.
To my engineeric brain it makes logical sense that this goes in both ways. A kid who has limited exposure to the toxic half of the blended family equation is better off. An NCP of quality whose kids are on a long distance schedule at least does not have their life, new marriage, 2nd family polluted by a toxic visitor more often than necessary.
When the visiting kid can't just call CP mommy/daddy to come get them and has to engage while visiting, comply with household and famiy rules, etc.... it is healthier for the SKid and for the home they are in.
We were the CP household. Our world was SS's real world. SPermLand was not the real world. At home he was raised with structure, behavioral standards, performance standards and with engaged , caring, and participating parents. In SpermLand he was neglected as a toddler (BO that would gag a maggot, diaper rash so bad it would bleed, puss filled welts all over his behind, half inch long finger and toe nails, etc...), he was PASd as a child and harrangued because he had nice things and his three younger also out of wedlock Spermidiot spawned half sibs by two other baby mamas didn't, his belongings were stolen, his travel money stolen, etc.....
At least he only saw them at most 3x per year (5wks summer, 1wk winter, 1wk spring) if they even bothered to take visition.
Having to hand him off EOW/EOWE or some other shorter frequency would have ruined him just as spending their lives with that shit puddle of a gene pool ruined his 3 younger half sibs. #2 is on the dole, #3 is in prison, #4 is not far behind #3.
If PSSD moves far enough away, it may be a decompression opportunty.
Just maybe.
It's a Lot of Money to Us....
but not to idiots. That $21k will be gone before it can get warm at the bank it's deposited it. Trust me on this one. These toxic people of StepHell, regardless of where they are located in this world, operate on a similar set of statutes and rules. DHs ex, after the divorce, community property settlement, savings and retirement portion, got right at ONE MILLION dollars. Yep...you read that right $1Mil. Within 4 years, she was broke, homeless and in arrears with the IRS. Between her and the 3 adult SKs, they ran right through all that money in that short of time.
Karma arrives in all sorts of forms....it will come to that crew you have to deal with it. In the mean time, reflect on the fact that you are a GOOD human being with lots to offer the world (and us on this board). Continue living your goodness. The trash will get their due eventually.
Sending you a virtual hug.
Im hoping....
Im hoping she will still have it a year from now or at least a portion and can help Powersulk with college funding, and a car.
a MIL$$$!!!! That would drive me insane.
In our area, that 21k definitely goes fast.
Shes already looking to buy a new car. And once Feral Forger SD23 finds out shes got cash, she will start doing the ask.
And she likes concerts and trips and shopping.
I plan to use this energy to ascend higher personally. She can go do what shes gonna do. Meanwhile Im going to just try not to overthink on it.
Thank you
Hugs back
And somehow she qualifies for
Voucher. Section 8 may run differently there, but here when someone says they have a voucher it means that you have to find an apartment that will accept it within a time limit. Most often these accepting apartments are in what used to be called tenement homes here. SD and H had a voucher, didn't find an apartment (just didn't look assuming someone would do it for them) and lost it.
Our other section 8 housing is in larger complexes owned by corporations where you apply at the building and get on the list. When you get to the top of the list, you get an apartment. Most of the good complexes prescreen and a voucher does not mean jumping the list or automatic approval. (For various reasons SD and H could not get approval at a complex.) At a good complex, it may take years to get an apartment.
(my opinion) Until they move in, the beach apartment is not real.
Very true. Also section 8
Very true. Also section 8 often means you have to move out of your area to whatever area you could find an apartment accepting vouchers. It often means long distance from where you live. You don't get to choose "beach view". Having said that, it could be by the beach. But it's still subsidized housing, which isn't an upgrade in life. It's not an improvement or something to envy. Unless one is on disability, for the able bodied people section 8 isn't something to admire. It's a downgrade in every way possible.
most of us don't get to live by the beach and it's ok. I live in the area surrounded by lakes but I cannot have lake house. We make good money and have professional careers yet it's not the type income required for lake shore houses by me. I have ONE coworker who has beach house and it's because his wife is a physician so they are in a different bracket. If beach house meant so much to me, I'd possibly chose different career path. It's just not that important.
Even if BM ends up in the apartment by the water, it's still not a house and not a condo and not even a legit rental, it's a government subsidized housing for people below poverty line.-in her case it's because she refuses to work. I should count my blessings that I would never qualify for the kind of living.
I think the whole mindset of resenting BM for living by the ocean should be switched to rejoicing that you don't need to live in section 8 housing. It's something to be happy about. Not something to resent
I agree. I don't think OP has
I agree. I don't think OP has even seen this supposed beachside condo (correct me if i'm wrong.) If you are just taking SD and/or BM's word, i'm guessing it's mostly bullsh!t anyway. I have yet to see a section 8 paradise.
Also, to add, i go to a lot
Also, to add, i go to a lot of section 8 properties in the course of my job doing home visits. Even the ones that "look good on paper", and even the ones that seem to look nice on the outside and might seem to be in a desirable area - there's something bad wrong with them. Once you spend any amount of time inside, you know. It's just depressing as hell inside for one reason or another. There's just no way around it. You get what you pay for when it comes to housing.
Im thinking
That she will probably use her windfall 21K to subsidize the housing there. Im also thinking that since she applied when she was "disabled" and not working, they will do a review and that section 8 housing will go away. Which will suck that money right out within a few months. Really thats just 1,750 monthly. 2 bedroom apartments in the beach town go for 2,000 and above.
Im thinking its BS too
Ill believe it when I see it, certainly.
A few years ago, she was saying that her "head case" lawyer was telling her that she could get MILLIONS in a settlement. That never came to pass.
A pittance. Someone who is as entitlement focused as the troll
will think $21K is huge. It will go extremely fast.
Section 8 housing and a $21K settlement after 5-ish years is not an accomplishment. Except to people who are a waste of skin.
You, CLove, are of outstanding quality.
Celebrate that fact.
Take care of you.
Free stuff
Toxic Troll has the annoying talent of getting money for not working. And she called me a non-working see you next tuesday the 1 month that I was out of work in the entire time that Ive been with Husband.
Im hoping the following happens:
1. I can figure out ways to ascend higher using this energy of "sour grapes and money envy"
2. She spends it all quickly
3. Except for a small amount that she saves for Power Sulks college funding when she graduates high school.
4. and a small amount is spent on a honda or toyota for herself and one for powersulk.
5. Feral Forger gets wind of it and decides to create a drama that causes her to have to move back in with Toxic Troll and Powersulk and since powersulk has her own room in the town that her high school and friends are in, she lives with toxic troll full time.
THANK YOU
Thank you for all the kindness!
It will be interesting
Now that 2 big issues are resolved for TT and your SD, housing and immediate finances, it will be interesting to see what new problems arise. My experience with my SD indicates that once one problem is resolved, another pops up.
What I think will happen
I'm guessing TT has overdue bills so I'm guessing about $5k will go for that. Then there's moving exiense and utility set up at the new place, let's say $2k. Then, she needs a car, let's say $10k. So, thats $17k. Then, you have sales tax and registration on the new car, prox $2k. So, now we're up to $19k. So, I'm thinking within a month or two, back to "normal", ie, hand-to-mouth. I think you're right that FF will get wind of the $ and come flying back. So, within 2 months, broke and with FF there throwing her fits. Don't even give one thought to TT saving for your SD's college.