I would not risk these lying harpees pulling their false alegation crap with CPS again and potentially costing you your DD.

Nope, nope, nope.

There are some things that cannot be forgiven nor risked.  What they did cannot be forgiven. Even though they were children. Losing your own daugther cannot be risked.

Keep the response from CPS rolled up and handy. When necessary, beat the snot out of your ILs and your DH's lying toxic failed family progeny.  Figuratively of course. Unless the toxic failed family harpees are within reach to actually beat with the rolled up lie based CPS alegations.

After your DD turns 18, then engage if you choose. Though I would frequently remind everyone about the lies they told, the support your ILs gave to the liars, and how you can never trust people who could have cost you your daughter with their toxic lying bullshit. and delusional support for the harpees.

Though I do feel for your DH. His toxic spawn could have cost him his daughter as well.  If I was your DH, I would make it clear to the toxic spawn and his family that they are on a one step at a time basis in his life and one micro step out of line and they are all gone. For good.  No trust. Period.

They need profession help.  When the health professional saids it ok to let them back into your life. Then , and only then would I consider a small relationship with them

Your FIL physically attacked your H, your MIL and SIL are first rate vipers, and the SDs filed a false report that brought CPS poking into your life. That's an incredibly toxic group of people, and you should stay away from them at all cost.

I know the passage of time can blur the edges of harsh memories, and this isn't the reality you'd hoped for, but what is the upside of letting the crazy back into your life? Don't listen to your people pleasing tendencies. You don't want to go and you shouldn't go, so stick with that.

What's to be gained by going? Not a lot apparently. OTOH, do you really need the mega dose of disfunction you might get? Not your kid's graduation so why bother?  Honestly, the further away you stay from the coven, the happier you will be.

Calling CPS on you one time should suffice to be cut out of your life for good. You could have had your daughter taken away. Why give them a second shot at you?

There is a difference between Trust and Forgiveness.

To get to the point where they actually got CPS involved is a dealbreaker for me.

If you dislike me that much you want to try and get my children taken away or put me behind bars then I am completely done with you. We all make mistakes. I get angry and say things I shouldn't to my kids or lose my temper on the back 9. In my anger, I have never picked up the phone and called the police or gone through Children Services where I have to create an allegation against someone. That is a different type of person.

I would tell them I absolutely forgive you, but I will never trust you again. If they want to earn my trust back then they can earn it. I won't be so closed-minded that they can't repent and right their wrongs, but they will absolutely have to prove it.

Whose graduation is it?  Is it someone you care about?  I don't think you're petty if you don't go - you should be no contact with your husband's dysfunctional family, and being at a graduation with them isn't consistent with that.  

For all the reasons YOU have and for all the reasons given to you here in the prior comments. 

This is not a stealing or lying event. This falls into the sexual abuse catagory. And no way in hell would anyone with that history be around my child. I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. My children never saw my abuser...EVER. I would have been a worthless parent to let my babies any where near that monster. Your SS is no different and you should NEVER let your child near him.

My thoughts? If you want to show them you have forgiven, send a gift. That's the best I could muster if in your shoes. And remember....forgiveness does not equat restoration of said relationship. I have forgiven DHs kids for what they did to me and while they are not my enemies anymore, they are not my friends. Civil and superficial is my motto.

I would say if you still have had feelings about attending, then don't. You don't have to attend something where you're feel uncomfortable, and they are old enough to try to make amends and understand that their actions have consequences. 

No, you are not being petty. Not your circus, not your monkeys. They are your DH's problem and his choice on whether to deal with them or not. Period.

As for forgiving? It is 110% possible to forgive people and never again allow them to be part of your life. It does not make you petty. It means that they are so toxic to your life, well-being, and safety, that you don't want contact with them at all. You are allowed to have peace in your life.

They aren't your bio kids.. I seen no reason for you to attend their graduation.  If you are trying to be on good terms.. I am betting a gift would be appreciated by them more than a face in the crowd.

Id say make some awesome plans with your bio for that specific date and time.

High School graduations are overrated, IMO. They force them out no matter how they do.

When SD24 Feral Forger was about to graduate high school (barely), the tickets were limited. She did not have enough to invite me. She invited her father, her mother, her sister, her 2 cousins, and 2 favorite aunts. One auntie couldnt make it and offered her ticket. Husband told her "either Clove goes or I dont go, so you should see about getting that ticket." One of the few times that he had my back in steplife.

She got a ticket the next day, and gave it to me saying "I hope you go, I had to stand in line for a REALLY long time".

I took an unpaid half day off, to get there early, and sit on a hard bench in the hot sun and had forgotten to bring water and none was being provided. It was a MISERABLE experience and we are now no contact. The only benefit was being there for Husband because he didnt want to be there alone...

SO, that being said, what would you have to gain from exposing both you and your kiddo to these toxic vipers that only want to make nice because they see a beneifit for themselves???????????????????

event.

He was so deep on his mom's shit list that it was all I could do to salvage some semblance of positivity out of it for him, her, my ILs and my parents.

SS was poised to graduate from a top tier boarding school (Military School) when he and the Spermidiot hacked the school fire wall and put SS into a class room coma each day by staying up all night playing WoW every night. SS failed the only class he needed from teh first semester of his Sr. year in order to graduate.  Had he passed that class he only needed one class in the Spring semester as well. He was taking a full load but ... all but one class per semester were not needed to graduate.  The class he failed in the Fall was not offered until the following Fall semester and we for damned sure not going to pay another two semesters of boarding school tuition because SS shoved his head  up his own butt.

So, his mom yanked him out of boarding school at Winter break, stuck him in our local HS (the best HS in the state so it did not jeopardize the quality of his educaton significantly) and he had a choice. Graduate on time, or get dropped off at the local homeless camp.  We put the  exclamation point on that message by taking him to meet his possible new neighbors at the homeless camp. I will be eternally endebted to those wonderful people for being all over SS to pull his head out and graduate.

That scared the bejesus out of him.  Unlike at the Military school, to graduate on time he had to take the one class he failed in the Fall, the second class in that series and .....  two additional math classes, two career track classes, and do a Sr. project that was assigned Winter of Jr. year.  He had to pass 6 classes and do the project between Jan and the first week of June.  That kid worked his tailbone off and did graduate on time and with honors.

His HS graduation was a very quiet affair for the entire family. My ILs were thrilled to be there, my parents were there only because I asked them to make it happen so my DW would not be more upset than she already was.  They came but were very reserved as SS was to be the 4th Rags to graduate from Military school.

I still get into some hot water even 12 years later because no one got pics of my DW and SS together at his graduaton.

I blame the kid.

*unknw*