new here and need advice

Forums:

i have read topics on this forum and i think i have a unique situation. my husband and i have been married for 5 years and dated for 2. he has a son from his deceased wife she died in an accident a few months have my step son was born. he is 8 years old and i have literally known him since he was 1 and im the only mother he knows, he calls me mama. i have treated him like he was mine. i fed him, changed his diapers and nutured him ( and still doing the last two) and most importantly loved him. my step son also has a birth defect called spina bifida, totally paralyzed from the waste down. he has had multiple surgeries (8 years old and already had 50).

a couple of months ago my husband and i had one of our own. since then my feelings toward my step son has changed. i dont hate him god knows i still love that child but it seems i get more frustrated with him and there are times i dont even want him in the room. my mom makes me feel terrible about this because she loves him like a grandchild. my question is this normal feeling and will it pass? the other day i yelled at him basically just because i was frustrated and wanted to be with my baby by myself and he wanted attention, which he has gotten less of since the baby was born. he looked at me and said "you used to love me, what i do for you to hate me now." i felt like utter crap. he later came in and told me he was sorry for saying that and i hugged him. my husband is great father, he spends equal time with both kids and me. we are his family. advice please

I would say it's completely

I would say it's completely natural. The thing is, you probably THOUGHT you loved him like you're own, but now that you have your own and feel that amazing love a mother has for her own child, it is apparent that you really didn't. There's nothing wrong with that, and you shouldn't beat yourself up or feel guilty over it. You're just going to need some time to adjust.

I know this will sound like a stupid analogy, but I'll tell it anyway...before I had kids, I had a little yorkie dog....loved that dog with my heart and soul..when she was really sick and I thought she was dying, I cried like a baby. Then...when my son came along, she became "that damn dog". LOL.

today was different. i woke

today was different. i woke up the sun was shiny and i felt better than i have since i my baby. i woke up got the baby up and handed him to my husband who had the day off. my husband told me that he was gonna go get my stepson up and get him ready for school. i told him nope i was gonna get him up and he that he wasn't going to school today. husband didn't like that very much but i told him to get over it.

i got him up dressed him and made him breakfast and them fed the baby. afterwards i got dressed and went into the living room and picked him up (he's 8 and he's the size of maybe a 3 year old) and told my husband we were going out and that he was babysitting. he smiled and said ok that was fine. my stepson and i went out for the day we had such a great time and laughed and talked about stuff. i had the same feelings for him just sitting there talking and laughing that i had before the baby was born. im in process of adopting him and cant wait until that day comes when i can officially say he's mine.

i guess it was just a phase or something.