ok, I'm not imagining it
So I was going to make my whole wheat bread this morning, go to get the molasses and it's GONE. I know there was an almost new bottle in the cupboard the last time because I had used up the opened one and just opened this new bottle. And I always put stuff on the grocery list when I run out - as that's what I do. I use the molasses often enough for bread I don't want to run out. Well, zero sight of the newish bottle, zero note on the grocery list. YSD17. She has taken it before, as she has taken the home-made blackberry jam. And a few other things.
I said "Dammit. YSD took the molasses!" out loud. Of course DH heard and said "You don't know that, she wouldn't take it." I told him I had just opened a new bottle, use only 2 TBS at one time and that she's taken things from the kitchen before. He's not putting this on me.
Now I suspect I know why the kitchen sink mysteriously was clogged up a couple months ago. We were out to eat. Next morning, sink was 100% clogged up. It was working fine the afternoon before. YSD was home alone. So now I wonder if she did one of her very wierd "cooking" concoctions and put it all down the drain. I suspected she had put something down the drain but missing molasses + blocked drain + YSD home alone = issues.
SIGH.
I didn't back down with DH though. He can stuff it. No yummy WH bread for you!
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I hope you will stay
I hope you will stay disengaged and do not say a word to that little beast.
I guess it'll be a while before anyone gets homemade wheat bread.
Oh not one word.
Oh not one word.
I'm the main consumer of the whole wheat bread, my fave. DH will have to live with his home-made italian loaf.
YSD won't touch any of my home-made bread so there is that. I just won't buy any when she's here and hide it otherwise.
Molasses is a weird thing to
Molasses is a weird thing to steal.
Presumably you can rule out Dh as the thief. So, what does he think happened? A random person came into your house to pinch that one item? Or you stole it from yourself so you can unjustly accuse SD? His knee-jerk reaction to protect SD is typical though. I'd seriously want to hear his alternate theory in his alternate universe.
Right? But YSD is not a
Right? But YSD is not a normal eater. I suspect she really wants sweets but any "sugar" we have is poison (even though we buy organic/responsibly made sugar since we don't use a lot of it), she doesn't like honey but I know she likes molasses!
Wtf
I mean. Yes, molasses is ok. Personally I use it as an ingredient - bread, bbq sauce, cookies, gingerbread, etc. But all of these things use a fairly small amount?
WTF could she do with a whole jar? *shudders*
Does he think you're chugging
Does he think you're chugging molasses? I'd be locking the damn kitchen.
LOL. I think he thinks I just
LOL. I think he thinks I just forgot. But then on other things he'll say he doesn't understand how I remember "everything." HE'S the one with selective memory. Luckily, YSD in general doesn't like our food at all. I still have a jar of blackberry freezer jam and I'm not opening it until she goes back to BMs for most of July, same with the new molasses jar I'll get.
Why not confront her? I
Why not confront her? I wouldn't have even asked I would have texted her "SD the next time you use up the last of something (like the molasses I had just bought) can you please tell me?" If you had I would have loved to seen her reaction. Also if she had used it all up wouldnt you have notcied the bottle in the trash? BEcuase I am sure Sd doesnt take the trash out at your place. (That woudl require her havign some responsibilty)
Because I'm disengaged. She
Because I'm disengaged. She will just deny it (she has never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever admitted to doing something "wrong" - just like OSD, They are NEVER wrong.). Then DH will get involved and make it my problem, or undermine me absolutely. He already did this just when I mentioned it. I think she took the whole damm thing to BMs, like she did with the blackberry jam. Thus, no trash worry. Or she buried it in the trash. OSD must have done this with one of my very nice coffee mugs (from Korea, a beautiful one that was a gift) - I last saw it in her room moldy with old hot chocolate. She was, at the time, in the habit of just throwing moldly things away rather than cleaning them.
One of my biggest issues with
One of my biggest issues with SS19. Total lack of care for someone else's belongings. He broke not one but 2 glasses I got from Italy. Was told not to touch them after he broke the 1st one... then days later broke another... these glasses were on the top shelf with the rest of the don't touch glasses.
I made a mug rack for our kitchen.. has mugs on it from places we travel. You don't touch these mugs.. of course he got caught using one... we have like 30 other mugs he could have used but naturally chose one of those..
Made myself clear that these will NOT be touched again!
I dont know. I still think
I dont know. I still think disengaged or not if you know 100% she did something to it I would call her out. Not ASK her is she took it but make it a statement of fact that you KNOW she did. Ignoring it lets her get away with it. Calling her out makes her look stupid for doing it in the first place. And a one sentence text should set DH off. But hten again we all know these men can make a mountain out of a speck of sand.
Disengagement does not mean letting bullshit behavior slide.
Disengagement means not catering to a spawn or their idiot parent. on anything SKid related.
Disengagement means getting the idiot parent on the hook immediatley for any skid behavioral issues. Disengagement means full and immediate accountability for bullshit spawn behavior.Disengagement means NO to any requests of support, help, etc.. with anything toxic spawn related.
The SKid and their idiot parent ensure compliant behavior to standard, or they suffer. Their choice. If the Skid chooses to violate, then the SParent applies misery to both the Skid and the parent who is failing to effectively parent. This model when consistently enforced, returns remarkably calm results once the spawn and the responsible sire or dam learn there is zero tolerance for crap.
IMHO of course.
I NEVER buy the good stuff
I NEVER buy the good stuff when skids touchdown. Matter of fact I hide my good stuff and ration out the snacks I don't mind them eating. If the serving size is 1 tablespoon. Put a vial of 2 tablespoons and label it 'molasses' and let her try some. Just put the samples out lol!!! Samples is all those skids can handle because they don't know how to act when they have the full size. And if anyone has the audacity to complain simply explain (provide receipts if need be) "The serving size is ONE tablespoon"
These skids over here are raised on junk food anyways.
I stock the fridge with fruits/veggies/and some stuff I know they won't try because they're too picky.
My grocery budget/sanity stays intact and my foods stay preserved this way.
Also 9 times out of 10 the guilt-riddled bio parent WILL deny their kids' wrongdoings. I come with reciepts! Like "LOOK at this, do you HEAR this, do you SEE this?" because if it's just me telling my accord, sadly their objectivity is gone out the window and they believe their 'perfect' angels over anything
Oh yeah
Chef's ferals would ALWAYS crack open ( I should say CHEF would crack it open for them) full sized brand name items, take a sip/nibble, then discard the rest.
I ended up putting generic product into the brand name packaging (Chef would have a FIT if he thought that I was buying generic for his royal ferals). Also hiding anything of value.
I would put your valuable ingredients in "disguise." Hide molasses bottle in a box of brillo pads. Skids will never crack open instruments of labor.
I've done the replacement
I've done the replacement with generic too! They never knew.
HELL YES....Those greedy non
HELL YES....Those greedy non-bill paying skids get Great Value brand food
Saves my wallet and sanity everytime.
When I travel I get myself the higher quality brands
Under the Veggies
I used to keep treats & good cheese under the veggies in the fridge produce drawers, back when I was active-duty step-parent of a teenage boy.
Nothing ever disappeared.
I kept individually wrapped
I kept individually wrapped gourmet cookies in a bag of brussel sprouts in the freezer. Expensive cheeses were beneath apples in the fridge produce door or inside a Philadelphia cream cheese box.
Vegetable bin hands down best
Vegetable bin hands down best place to hide stuff in fridge, Old frozen peas bags in the freezer.
SO is just like this. The day
SO is just like this. The day before the Family Dinner, SD19 was making fun of me - "Merrigan snores like a man! Hahahah". I made eye contact with SO and left the room. The next day I told him (during my boundary requirements talk) that this making fun of me type of humour has to stop because it's rude. He tried to say "oh, she just said you were tired". I had to repeat it back to him verbatim. He almost cried. He knew she had said it but wanted to gloss over the truth.
Fucking Disney Dads.
Don't you just
Love the history revision?? In Chef's fantasy world, he was a DISCIPLINARIAN to his ferals. I try not to get eyeroll lock when he tells this to every one he meets when the PAS subject comes up.
Well, maybe in absolute terms
Well, maybe in absolute terms, between him and BM maybe he was the one who came closest to the definition of disciplinarian ... maybe he once said "no"? Who knows?
The closest
He ever came to saying no was "maybe." Before I disengaged, I was the only one that ever said no to them.
Good for you for rubbing DH's nose in the stench of his toxic
spawn.
Keep it up until he fixes his failed family refuse, or ... that refuse just stays the hell away.
Put locks on everything and apply the locks just before SD
arrives.
THen when nothing disappears, point it out to DH.
Lather.... rinse.... repeat.
Skids comply with standards, or.... end their access. Failure to comply returns consequences. Every time. Daddy either parents or daddy hears the spawn whine and bleat.
Here's what I'd do (bear in
Here's what I'd do (bear in mind I can be a nasty vindictive wench who can wait years for revenge). Make a list of the things she regularly takes and set a revolving trap. Take one item per visit and lace it with a dose of ex-lax that would bring an elephant to its knees. Add fart powder if you're feeling particularly malevolent and put a label on it that says "do not use" to ensure she takes it. The label will also avoid your DH falling into the trap because I hope he has enough sense to at least ask you why.
If she ever connects the mega-dose of the runs that she has with what she took from your fridge, you can always say that you put a label on it for a reason.
Repeat as required.
Brilliant!!
"Someone" did that to the teacher's lounge coffee urn in Jr. High. A few bars of coffee flavored Exlax dropped into the hot coffee.
No one ever got caught. I am sure iit would have delivered some significant consequences.