I am so very sorry for what you and your family are going through.  When my Uncle was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer he dropped a lot of weight quickly.  He experienced stomach issues after they took the (head and tail?) for the cancer.  I think he didn’t like that as soon as he ate he had to go.  They gave him two years without chemo and 3 years tops with.  He started chemo and was miserable and said he wanted to stop after two treatments.    That last time we saw him which was around Christmas time he was very thin and just looked sickly, but he talked with us normally and was doing normal activities like cleaning up after we ate.  He was able to make it until March.  I don’t know what medicines he was given for pain but I know he was on them and towards the end his wife had hospice coming in giving him what he needed for relief.   It was very sad to watch him go from so full of life to withered as you said, but he didn’t seem angry or upset, more sad he was leaving his wife and that he didn’t get much time after he retired to do all the things he wanted to.

Damn. I'm sorry. 

You said, "I'm sorry again for this post, I can't think about Christmas and SD coming and being able to function nor even start planning Spring Break not knowing what life is going to look like going forward."

Please don't apologize - we're glad you came here to share.

It's okay to not have the bandwidth for thinking about Christmas or the SD. Leave that to her father, including spring break. He is her father. Do what you can if you have children of your own, but maybe just spend time with your sister and family? Most people, at the end, wish they had more time. Time together is more important than anything.

No, you should not delete this. Prayers for you, your sister, and your family. There is something I want to post, but must find it. {{{{{HUGS}}}}}

I am also very sorry to read about your sister.  I've experienced siblings having cancer too. 

My 1/2 sister died from Leukemia years ago and my brother died from pancreatic cancer in Jan 2020. His death is still fresh in my mind. 

(((HUGS))))

I'm sorry. C is a roller coaster of emotions for everyone. Kinda like step life, you don't really get it until you experience it for yourself. My dad has it, been a 12 year journey so far and not looking good at the moment. Lost my last 2 grandparents to it in the last few years as well. It makes me sick. Dad has been nothing but kind, honest, hardworking and dependable his whole life and he's probably going to die before he can even retire. He used to be amazingly strong, I always pretended he was Superman when I was a kid. Now he's always tired. 

it's scary and sad and no one can actually tell you what is going to happen. Things can change with every doctor's visit, it's exhausting. So don't waste too much energy trying to predict the future. Enjoy what you can today. For the rest all I can really say is cry when you need to, be kind even when you're frustrated, support your sister but let her keep the dignity of making her own decisions even if you think she's wrong- let her live her story her way and just be there for her. 

Im so sorry this is happening. 

Live your life and support your sister. I imagine SD wont even notice.

When I told SD24 Feral Forger my mother had cancerous lung nodes, she rolled her eyes (she was 17 and living with us in visitation schedule) she always got money and presents from my mother on birthdays and Christmas, but there wasnt a huge amount of relationship and FF is generally selfish and hates me.

I am sorry to hear of your sister's Dx.

The only C-word experience my family has had is my dad was Dx'd with stage 1 Prostate cancer in 2020. The Urology Oncologist (yep, apparently that is a thing) advised a number of treatments and expressed zero sense of urgency advising mom and dad to go on their planned multi month RV trip, etc...   All 4 of us were in the room during that consult. Dad, mom, my little bro, and me. We all said hell no and agreed that now was not soon enough to address the situation.  With the exception of full prostate removal all other treatment plans required annual biopsy for years after treatment.  Dad, being an Engineer and my brother and I being Engineers as well landed on "if you do not have a prostate there is nearly zero risk of recurrent prostate cancer."  Dad had his prostate fully removed about 2wks later. He is nearly 4yrs post op and his PSA is locked on zero. There is in all liklihood no risk of recurrance. Now instead of annual PSA testing, he will be on a 5yr PSA test schedule.

I know there is no comparison between prostate cancer and what your sister has.  Oncology has advanced beyond measure and continues to advance.  My prayer is that that they can keep your sister comfortable and slow things down so she can have the best quality of life for the time she has and hopefully get her to a point where advances will address her condition.

Enjoy your time with your sister. She will thrive on the love and time that you spend together. Do not give Christmas, your SD, or Spring Break a thought. Focus on your time with your sister and in taking care of yourself as you share your sister's journey.

Don't delete a thing. I hope that you find this a great place for support and to help you navigate the adventure of the blended family dream.  Life impacts all of that just as the SParent thing impacts every aspect of our lives.  Being married to prior breeders, all SParents know elements of life's journey in the blended family universe.

This effects all family's.   Give our well wishes and prayers