Update
Just wanted to put this down somewhere. SO went to his therapy session. He said it went well and he was not angry with me when he was through. This means one of two things. 1) she let him talk and didn't say much or 2) he was able to do his wonderful manipulation tactics. I have to go with 2. SS had his first travel team baseball practice for the season , now remember he will only be pitching because he does so terrible at batting. I guess he also pitched bad and now has to do more private pitching lessons. I am not grasping this at all. He has played since t ball and has been on travel and rec teams both since he was old enough to be. And has had private lessons for pitching and batting along.
- RockyRoads's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
I think SS is tired. Travel,
I think SS is tired. Travel, rec, lessons. That's too much. My SS also played baseball. He was pretty good, especially at pitching. He did end up hurting his wrist a one point though. It was a lot. They keep these kids a little TOO busy and it is not good for them. He didn't play travel ball in high school, just played for the school. That was enough.
Bios won't tell him no, ever.
Bios won't tell him no, ever. No matter how much he is not good enough for this team and it will run about $10,000 for the season they don't want to make him upset.
Baseball is probably not "his
Baseball is probably not "his" sport. Some kids excell no matter what sport you put them in but others have to try multiple sports to find the one they're best at.
Could be bio parents have invested so much into baseball they cannot let go of it despite his barely average success with it even with extra coaching/training.
See sunk cost fallacy.
Looks like he is forcing to
Looks like he is forcing to do a sport that he has no interest and isnt even good at....What a waste of money and time for all involved...
Not to mention for your SS having to go to these games and underperform must be quite hard on his self esteem. Hope for them that he will not throw it in their faces when older and accuse them of "inflicting trauma and causing him low self esteem by pressuring him to excel in a sport he disliked/couldnt get into"
It sounds that Daddy and
It sounds that Daddy and mommy are paying for their and SS's delusions of MLB grandeur. This kid will in all likelihood be lucky to make HS varsity much less ever play beyond that.
If I were the SP in this shit puddle, nope. Not one cent of marrital resources would go for this crap. BM would have to pay it out of CS or... the kid would be in low cost little league at most.
What these bios have done to
What these bios have done to this kid. Now his ex friends are alienating others against him . I guess one kid said a horrible thing to him. Then BM called immediately SO to do Her talk behind kids back but do nothing routine.SO is out of town and working. Then SO calls SS and he is doing something with another kid. SO of course center to me about it . I don't want to hear about SS anymore. I don't want that stress.
You are looking for some
You are looking for some "logic".. that only kids that excel are worth the time, money and effort of having them involved in sports. But, that's not necessarily how it works. Kids are in sports for a variety of reasons.
1. The kid wants to participate.. whether they are good, not good.. or have delusions of goodness.
2. Their parents feel that it makes them "good parents" for supporting their children and giving them these opportunities. They equate the effort, time and money as a reflection of their love for their child.
3. Their parents are "proud" of the participation.. it's a brag board item for them. (also bragging for the kid.. he doesn't have to point out that.. "I play travel ball but I suck at it".. he can say "I play travel ball and we won last week"..
4. the parents are living vicariously through their child's participation.. either they are reliving their own glory years.. or their kid is getting the chances they felt shorted or cheated out of as a child themselves. (parents too tight to spend the money.. wouldn't support them).
5. The parents hope it will instill good habits and traits.. working hard.. team building.. etc..
6. The parents want their kid in activities.. so they don't have to spend the work raising them.
7. The parents want to give him every opportunity for success.. so pay for the special coaching.. the expensive equipment.. hoping for a better outcome for their child.
I am not saying ALL of those things are true in your husband's situation.. but I think those are the kinds of perspectives that you may be misisng.. you say.. the kid isn't that great.. why are we wasting the money.. well.. as I listed.. there are a ton of other reasons.. and in kid's sports.. major league talent is not necessarily the key factor in the kids being on the team..
The bottom line.. therapy isn't going to work.. you are past done with his kid.. and there is no reality where you and your SO will ever be on the same page. Your SO will ALWAYS want to talk about his kid.. you NEVER want to har about him.. your SO won't respect your wishes.. so it's a fight.. I don't think therapy is going to do a thing.. he will never be the man you want.. he will never parent the way you want.. unfortunately.. he is not the man you thought he was I guess.
It’s good
That it's gives him something to do. Not play video games in his room. It's gets him out, in a group setting. Gives DH something to do, If you get involved with the other parents it's a weekend away from home. Eating ...drinking....talking.
SO does not want to be around
SO does not want to be around these people. He is not that type that wants to party with the parents. Even taking his kid to practice he ridiculously drives him 1/2 hour comes home and drives back to get him. That makes two hours in the car because he doesn't want to stay there with the parents.