BM called SS14 crying
So DH gets an email from the swim club that SS14'S account is over $1000 in arrears and he's not allowed to enter the pool. At this point DH had already dropped him off and when he went to check on him he saw he was in the pool. He didn't say anything to SS14 about it, just told BM to pay.
Well BM called SS14 the next day crying about how sorry she was and telling him she owed $15,000 to the swim club blah blah blah. SS14 came to tell me and he was very upset.
So now it's today. BM is ignoring DH and hasn't updated him about SS14's status in the swim club and he's supposed to have swimming tonight.
Not only that he's supposed to be in a swim meet this weekend and we cancelled plans to go to my mom's for her birthday so we could take him.
Just frustrated and venting, thanks for reading guys.
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Poor kid. I hope you can find
Poor kid. I hope you can find a way to visit your mom still.
My sister bought tickets to
My sister bought tickets to an event for her birthday now and k had to decline. So I wouldn't get to visit with her even if I did go
I'd be contacting the swim
I'd be contacting the swim club directly. If BM hasn't paid up, then you continue with your plans and swimming is off until the balance is resolved. I'm sure BM is hoping DH will bail her out and pay the $1000 since swimming is "sooo important" to SS.
DH did end up emailing the
DH did end up emailing the swim club and they confirmed SS14 can't be in the water or at swim meets anymore
Wait, is she $15,000 past due
Wait, is she $15,000 past due?! Hoping that's a typo, but even $1500 is crazy to me that they let it get to that point without cutting him off sooner. Poor kid!
Ikr. Why they let her accrue
Ikr. Why they let her accrue 1k+ tab is insane.
They hassle like hell if ONE month of fees is missed over here.
It really is, that
It really is, that essentially means she hasn't paid at all except for registration. Even if she had just been taking the money DH gives her and not paying her share she would only be $300 in arrears.
She's really screwing over SS14
She's $1500 but said $15,000
She's $1500 but said $15,000 to SS14 to freak him out. I let him know the monthly dues would take 7 years to accrue to talk amount
If I recall correctly OP's DH
If I recall correctly OP's DH was ordered to pay BM a portion for swimming fees. It couldn't be paid to the swim club directly, had to be paid directly to BM. Well, clearly that's working so well. BM is just treating the swim club money as an extra CS bonus.
Yep
Girhippo also would get extracurriculars, braces, etc., counted in as extra CS on top of the base CS. Ridiculous. Fathers should NEVER agree to pay their half off ANYTHING directly to the BM. Nor should it be "rolled in" to base CS where there is also no accountability nor trackability. Most HCGUBMs are TERRIBLE with money and only want to spend on themselves.
DH pays through maintenance
DH pays through maintenance enforcement. Our CO requires BM to give proof of payment when. Requesting money but MEO is apparently above the law
I would definitely make a
I would definitely make a record of this situation.. and perhaps see if there was a way to get the order amended.. so that pmt could be made directly.
The only problem is BM would probably still be in arrears.. at least her half anyway. tough for a kid.. how embarassing.
Yes DH has to pay BM through
Yes DH has to pay BM through maintenance enforcement. And he had to pay her all for last season too, even though he registered SS14 under his name. So BM has been paid for an entire season she didn't pay for, and still accrued arrears...
Yep I clarified 3 times. He
Yep I clarified 3 times. He said he's sure she said $15,000.
What BM doesn't know is that SS14 doesn't tell DH this stuff, he tells me. So DH usually hears from me, and I've cleared up any nonsense on the way to DH's ears.
I told SS14 that we pay her every month for swim club and he looked at me as if he'd just heard the exact opposite of that.
THIS!!!
Chef never set things straight with OSS who was told by the Gir that he was a "deadbeat dad" (TM). To this day I believe they think that Chef never paid a cent of CS.
Of course the Gir's BM told the same lie herself.
if DH was ordered, by the
if DH was ordered, by the court, to pay extra $$ to BM specifically for swimming Ihope he labeled the payments as such so there's a trail of who owes it to the club.
If you do feel sorry for the
If you do feel sorry for the kid, maybe offer to pay the 1k but now you all have some leverage to make demands that she has no choice but to agree too.
After consulting with a lawyer, Let her know you will be paying your portion directly to swim team and hell seek a DOWNWARD modification (plus more custody) since she can't handle the money you are giving her.
That's messed up she knew this would upset him and she dropped the ball. She better do like that other SD and start making some bologna sandwiches!
Definitely ask a lawyer what leverage you have to negotiate the terms of court order parenting agreement IF you all decide to clear this debt so son can get back to swim
That sounds like grounds to
That sounds like grounds to go back to court and allege (truthfully) that BM is unable to manage the money he gives her and cut out the "extras" going straight to her.
What is your feelings about swimming?
If you think this is a good thing and cab afford the $1,000 to $1500. Then pay it. If you can't you can't you didn't start this.
We had a similar issue like
We had a similar issue like this with Spawn after Meth Mouth didn’t pay her dance account. DH gave Meth Mouth the money each month, she just never paid the bill, instead used that money for her arm and nose candy. Once DH got custody and found out, he tried to talk to the owner, who was understanding, but still needed to get paid. DH had to end up taking Spawn out of dance, it sucked but we weren’t going to keep paying Meth Mouth’s debts that we had already paid on. A few years later we were able to sign Spawn up again at the same studio and the owner did not press us for the past payment. Sorry your SS14 is going through this, it sucks when the parents turn to drugs.
Yes! She was in arrears for
Yes! She was in arrears for swim club last year so DH signed SS14 up under his name. But she never paid him a cent and she should have been paying 40% each month. DH just kinda said "too bad" this time around