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"Third time this week"

thinkthrice's picture

Submitted by thinkthrice on Fri, 04/12/2024 - 1:10pm

Went to an estate attorney yesterday to tighten up my will and put the rentals in a revocable trust.  Of course I came on my own as Chef wouldn't like the details on my will. LOL

The attorney was very nice and she completely understood how I just wanted Chef to have life use of the house and not any access to any of the other assets since he arrived on my threshold with nothing but the shirt on his back and I basically paid his child support for almost 20 years as well as his room and board.

I mentioned that I believe my situation is getting more and more common and she agreed.   She actually said that I'm the third woman this week who came in without their spouse or significant other!

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Cover1W's picture

Submitted by Cover1W on Fri, 04/12/2024 - 2:23pm

wow - yeah!  

I contact my financial advisor and asked that he move on just with my information for me alone because DH wasn't ready to get involved at this point. Waiting to hear back from him currently since he's processing all my final updates I did for him earlier in the week, so I'm ready to go.

For the wills and medical directives, DH said he does still want to do this (with much grumbling) so I let the attorney know to get a move on while we have momentum. Our draft copies should arrive for review next week. If DH does nothing and drags his feet I may allocate more to my sister and niece.  I also need to put, if possible, a clause in there that if DH, as executor, doesn't finish the will directives in a certain amount of time the next executor will take over and finish it.

notarelative's picture

Submitted by notarelative on Fri, 04/12/2024 - 2:30pm

It's always wise to get advice that is based on your interests, especially if you are in second marriage or a relationship. Finances are not the same as with a first marriage. First marriage we started with nothing and built our finances together. 

Second time, we were both over 50 when we remarried. We each had two adult children. I was a widow. He was divorced and then she died. The ex had gotten the lion's share of the assets in the divorce and when his kids inherited, they blew through it.

Thankfully, we have a prenup. Premarital assets are allotted to the person who brought them into the marriage. Mine are much larger than his. Our assets together are small and will be eaten up by end of life care. We have basically lived our life to the fullest with current earnings. 
And while we each know what is in the others will, we used different lawyers (the lawyers we used for the prenup). We went to our lawyer by ourself.

Rumplestiltskin's picture

Submitted by Rumplestiltskin on Fri, 04/12/2024 - 2:30pm

My ex-BIL is one of those "show up with kids and nothing else but the shirt on his back" types. I heard he's living for free off some poor woman in the Midwest right now. After not working or having stable housing for years, he's now fighting for joint custody. My sister is all worried the girlfriend will take over with her kids. I told her the girlfriend will likely be the one putting a stop to it after the first summer of her doing all the work, since she either stays home or works from home (i'm not sure) and ex BIL finally got a job. I'm like "Trust me, no woman gets in a relationship with the goal of stealing some BM's kids. She's not going to be happy with the arrangement." 

Lillywy00's picture

Submitted by Lillywy00 on Fri, 04/12/2024 - 7:56pm

Trust me, no woman gets in a relationship with the goal of stealing some BM's kids
 

Unless they're really desperate or self loathing 

thinkthrice's picture

Submitted by thinkthrice on Fri, 04/12/2024 - 7:45pm

Was amazed that I did all the record keeping and taxes myself!  I told her that I keep very good records and electronically scan in everything with  redundant backups.