Disneyland Parents 18+ year bid….
Just love how these Disneyland parents chose the most personality disordered people to procreate with, then instead of turn things around for the better, they expect you as a stepparent to come in and not only accept the dysfunction of their parenting /co-parenting style but also expect you to deal with the chaos and decrease in lifestyle satisfaction as well
No mfs!!!
YOU handle your 18+ year bid and everything that comes along with it.
I didnt procreate with your beastly breeder so I'm not suffering those consequences for many years like you are.
Dear Disneyland Parents:
As long as you refuse to 180 change for the better.....
You did the crime ... YOU do the time.
- Lillywy00's blog
- Log in to post comments
Comments
They lived with the dysfunctional person
So they think dysfunctional life is normal. So why would they not expect SP to be dysfunctional also. They don't know what to do with normal person ?
Lilly, it's quite a shock,
Lilly, it's quite a shock, when you've trained your own children to perform chores, work hard at school and hold down jobs, to become a SM to lazy, entitled, untidy, argumentative SKs. The first time that I saw my skids slope in for their alternate week, hands empty while DH hauled in all their belongings, my chin nearly smacked the floor.
DH’s two teens tossed their things all over the house, ate their meals in front of the TV (which they controlled), expected to be waited on and fought loudly and continuously. They did absolutely nothing to justify their existence. When my daughters arrived from university for the odd weekend, my DH could not fail to notice that they cleaned, vacuumed, washed dishes, helped prepare meals, were polite and respectful and never fought.
Slowly, changes were made, mostly because DH began to realize that his children’s behaviour was deplorable when compared to, not just that of my daughters, but my ten-year-old son. He was embarrassed and quite rightly so. Had he not worked so diligently at retraining his kids, I could never have stayed with him, despite loving him to bitty-bits.
Had he not worked so
thats awesome that he recognized that there was more positive growth and change for his kids and didn't just accept "this is how they are"
I really think Disneyparents who don't turn things around should raise their kids to their dysfunctional low standards....by themselves as single parents.
No normal sane person wants to "lock in" to decades long dysfunction and delusions
They keep their toxicity
Lol at "minions 4 life"
Just need someone's step kid to come through with a tattoo kit for that one
My cousin was a single mom. I
My cousin was a single mom. I guess you could say she was a Disneyland mom. She new it and stayed single until her daughter was in college and she knew she would launch.
She's a good one.
She's a good one.
Knew she would give all of her resources to her kid and rightfully stayed single to benefit everyone involved
kudos to her
Not bring a new SO into a relationship / familyb
Is not meaning Disney Daddddy. It's means they don't want to deal with the whole dynamics off the changing relationship. The new SO especially with all the kids in the relationship. Will never be any form of a parent. Older SK have two parents already they don't need or want two additional parents.
'You give the kids / SK. Power and control to fight for there place. The kids were number #1 Now some other person is number 1. So the only eating chicken starts, only doing X. or Y.
'It's hard to impossible to have a mean full relationship with every one pulling in different directions. So waiting until the child in in college to start a relationship may be a good ideas
Honestly.. it's fair.. they
Honestly.. it's fair.. they are the ones that created the kids.. it's their choice how they parent them.. how long they will allow them to stay at home.
As the step parent, it's our choice to stay or leave.
It's not abnormal for parents to help kids past 18.. let them live at home.. come back home.. stuff happens.. even to "good kids".. and my parents helped both my brother and myself.. so I honestly don't have a huge issue with it in theory..
I do think under normal
I do think under normal circumstances parents should help their children. But I know in my circumstance with kids who are not staying any more as teenagers and me not knowing them very well. wouldn't want to stay with me as adults I don't know. My SO would have to help them some other way. Maybe helping them rent an apartment. I don't know but it would uncomfortable.
You might not want it.. and
You might not want it.. and it might be uncomfortable.. but in the end... it might be the only solution for your family that would make sense.. if your husband's daughter was on your doorstep trying to leave an abusive relationship.. you know your husband would be moving her in.. at least short term.. and depending on resources she had.. or he had.. it might be longer term than any of you would prefer.
There are so many varied circumstances though.
The same might not be true for a kid who is in active throes of addiction.. who is refusing to work on getting clean...or a child who is physically dangerous..
again.. all sorts of circumstances.. but ultimately.. if the parents have financial resources.. the options to have the kid outside the home are greater.
I have a friend who has just had to bring their child home due to some life stuff.. and they are going to give him a soft landing.. he isn't in this space due to irresponsible living.. really... but the wife of the friend is going to be dealing with another adult male living with them.. that can't be easy too.
If an adult is allowed into
Makes sense to me!
A housekeeping task a day keeps the freeloading away. lol @ the second job they gotta get too
IF I had to agree to help
IF I had to agree to help some adult skids.....
I would rather help them from a distance
Ain't no Disneyland parent, conniving breeder, nor dom3stic t3rrorists destroying my peace in the home I pay bills in for more than what is legally required. (And damn sure don't want to deal with their sh*t before this either)
These Disney parents put us step parents through more than enough of their parenting b*llshit and to deal with it one millisecond past the age of majority is asinine
Staunch Disneyparents only learn from negative reinforcement (ex leaving them to single parent how they want since it mainly only affects them) ... let them do that 18 year bid - how they see fit - on their own.
*this is the same for my bio. I know life challenges can happen but I'd rather set the tone that IF any adult kid has to come back and live in my house .... it is absolutely temporary and all that Disneyland coddling b*llshit is out the window and MY rules or they can gtfo
I refuse to suffer indefinitely if I had a spouse who couldn't drop the Disneyland parenting act.
#mypeacefulabodeisNOTyour24/7respitecenter
#youneedrespitegolivewiththepersonyouworshiponmothersday
Lilly.. I get from your
Lilly.. I get from your experience that to that to you, a hammer, everything is a nail. And I get that it can be frustrating to be with someone that overindulges their child to the point that they create unpleasant people.
But,
Not every parent is a disneyland parent. Not every parent who is divorced with children is a disney parent. Not every parent that isn't a Hard A on their kid every time they screw up is a disneyparent. Not every parent that has a kid who isn't perfect is a disney parent.. and not every parent that is nice to their child is a disney parent.
Despite a parent's best efforts.. sometimes life happens. Even smart people make stupid decisions and most parents will help their kids, even when they have made said decisions. Even smart people that haven't made outright bad decisions can have bad stuff happen.. and as a parent of those people.. if there is an ability to help.. they will want to help.. Like the person who marries someone that is seemingly perfect.. turns out to be a pedo. Some things in life, you just don't see coming.. and can't imagine you know?
In a perfect world.. sure, if the parent has resources to help the adult child outside the home.. fine. But, sometimes coming home is an option due to limited financial resources on both parts (child and parent). As the partner of that parent, you shouldn't have to subsidize that, of course.. but we are also living in reality town here and sometimes the resources are what the resources are.. and if the child has some limitation that prevents them from working.. and the bio parent is unable to up and "pay more/their share".. yeah.. the SP will end up defacto subsidizing somewhat.
And.. yes.. the "child" should be contributing in each and every way that is physically possible for them.. working.. helping with chores.. cooking etc... They should be ensuring their presence is the least disruptive it can be and everyone should be working towards a goal of the child being out and independent again (if that's possible).
I mean.. believe me.. my parents were NOT disney parents.. but both my brother and I were able to come home at various times in our early 20's (and for him older when he got out of rehab no less).. It wasn't a bed of roses to go home... and yes.. we both would make the mountains move to get out of there asap!
Again.. not every parent is disney.. and while I can understand your perspective given your experience... it's going to be tough if you go in with a militant attitude to any new relationship with a "my way or highway" because in the end true partnerships mean both parties are giving 125% of their effort to their partner... and when both people do that? you are getting a great relationship.. the problem is when one person gives all.. the other person gives much less. When you want nothing more than for your partner to be happy.. and vice versa.. it tends to work out pretty well.
And.. yes.. my DH has two kids.. and at times was too soft on them... at times being a NCP could stray into DLparenting because he wanted to make the shorter time he had more meaningful.. but in the end.. he did have boundaries and expectations.. and both of his kids turned out better for it.
Im moreso referring to the
Im moreso referring to the Disneyland parents who expect you to use your resources and decrease your quality of life enabling their parenting/coparenting dysfunction and delusions
Your husband turned things around for the better without you having to take extreme measures so kudos to him.
My peace and my coins are way more important than some disrespectful Disney parent, disrespectful skids, jealous conniving ex wife, who will never view me as a human who has needs / deserves respect so if me being self-preserving/refusing to let another DisneyDad plus his multiple obligations con me out of the rights I work to earn/deserve is viewed as militant then so be it
Its one thing for Disneyland parents to acknowledge their unproductive parenting style and change for the better but it's another thing to be so deluded that these people see step parents merely as human child support subsidizers who solely exist to cater to their kids and ex (at their own expense and the expense of their relationship) just like they do.
.... you go in blind and naive (like I did with that Disneyland dad I used to deal with) and you will get swallowed up and taken advantage of real quick!
And no not all single dads
And no not all single dads are Disneyland dads .... but many of them are .... and most of them are aware they're too permissive and their kids are out of control little terrors
Thats exactly why they need women to come help them and can't stand being single dads for any extended period.
The ones who change for the better GREAT!
The ones who stay in dysfunctional patterns looking for sidekicks to enable them are the worst of the worst