So sorry you had to deal with paren't health issues during the holidays. My suggestion would be to start looking at larger facilites that have independent living all the way to nursing home care. They can start out living on their own and then progress to more care if they need it. Of course, price can be a big problem.
Your aunt will be a blessing. When my mom had a stroke and my dad was in hospice at home, my aunt was a life saver. We couldn't have done it all without her help.

I must have missed an update, is PP visiting at all on a regular basis? Or only coming around for holidays and such.

I felt so much when I read your post cuz this is familiar ground for me. I even empathize with your brother "How dare this happen when my own life is so busy!"

It is correct that the senior communities that contain cottages, apartments and long-term facilities are great but yes, they are expensive.  Your aunt, because she is nearer their age, will be so invaluable.  You guys will figure out something.

My mom101 was in a senior community, all 3 steps of it,  and is now in a nursing home.  I was lucky that she was still able to make the decision to sell her house (and coordinate her move).  She bought a condo where she lived and took care of  my disabled sister til she was 93.  She was able to realize she couldnt continue and they both went to the senior community, my sister resisting all the way.  My sister's condition continued downhill and she died 3 years later.  The following year, mom went to the  nursing home. 

Moral of the story: there are many possibilities and get ready to move them a lot.

DH87 and I are starting this journey.  He's 8 years older than me and has 2 forms of cancer, both asymptomatic right now, thank God. Over Christmas, 2 family members asked me how long we can stay here. I've been open with all about DH's oncoming dementia and how all financial, car and home responsibilities are on me now.  I'm his 24/7 nurse, making 3 meals daily, monitoring his meds,  answering endless questions, treating his conditions, helping him dress, putting him to bed, etc.  He's still his same funny, sweet man and I'm cherishing our remaining days.

I hope you're feeling better, it wasn't covid, was it?

I think the thing is... there's usually a lot of "cleaning up" to do, no matter how healthy or unhealthy a person was. The man who lives next door to my parents just died (at 96!) He was very healthy and active for a long time... until he wasn't. For a great many many years he's been reliant on outside carers... first to help with things around the house, then little by little, more and more. He's been unable to climb stairs and walk much for the past several years. This past year and a half he was unable to use the toilet and very weak, unable to get around without assistance. 

So I guess the point I'm trying to make is your brother could be dealing with it now or he could be dealing with it 10 years from now. It comes for us all in the end. Not many people go from very healthy to passing... it just buys us more years. 

I'm sure you're all dealing with a lot of mixed emotions. It's so hard seeing your parents decline. I'm dreading it with my parents.

Aside from the other advice I would say prioritize things that need to be done based on urgency so you don't get overwhelmed. It's ok to say no to things too. 

The fact that your brother lives out of town could be a blessing in disguise.  Both my brothers live distant, visit Mom annually or maybe twice a year and call weekly.  I dont have to hear, " I think...", " My wife thinks...." or any of that. Would it be nice if one of them had lived locally when we were going thru all the moves?  Yes, but Brother #1 and Nephew came to help Mom move out of her house and Nephew happened to be in town at the time of her last move and was a big help.

Re small moves : I learned there are small niche moving companies that specialize in moves such as from one facility to another.  In other words, when all that must be moved are a heavy lift chair, table and small pieces.  If you're dealing with a retirement community or nursing home, they will know who.

Holidays to feel like they did in the past time.  When we were younger and had small problems.  Now we are older out problems are unsolvedable  the joy of the holidays is diminished.   ''''The golden years '''' aren't golden..Best of luck to everyone in 2025 

Damn, I'm just seeing this since i was traveling when you posted. That's a lot to deal with. I'm blessed not to have experienced that, yet, but i dread the likely future  possibility. It has to be hard having your brother and his wife live long distance. But like some said, depending on how much help he would be, it might be a good thing. His and his wife's opinions are valuable, but the one who lives locally and has to live with the outcome of the choices (you) needs to make the final decision.