There it is... The impending drama
SD's teacher sent DH a copy of a letter being sent home today. On the letter it basically says that the standardized testing they are about to take starting March 3 if the student is in 2nd grade and does not pass will be recommended for summer school. If a 3rd grade student (SD next year) does not pass they will either have the opportunity of summer school and passing the standardized test to move on to 4th grade in the new year or will be retained to repeat 3rd grade.
Ugh, I sense a problem on the horizon. DH responded asking the teacher if SD does not pass if she will need to attend summer school that she spends all except 3 weeks of summer break here and the 3 weeks with BM. The teacher then asked DH what 3 weeks SD will be in BMs state, which doesn't point towards her thinking SD will pass. DH responded with the 3 weeks she will be with BM and then asked what the teacher thought SD's chances of passing were and how long summer school is.
If SD fails, is BM going to try to push for SD to remain there to attend summer school? SD spends about 8 weeks give or take a few days depending on the year here with us so there is potential to miss out on a HUGE chunk of time. We could again pay for SD to have a tutor here all summer long, but I feel like BM would push for SD to stay there for summer school instead.
Makes me nervous for next year now too because if SD fails, then it is even more serious about summer school or she would be retained for the 2nd time (she was retained in kindergarten).
Well, I am annoyed because SD currently has an "F" in reading and apparently the one that determines summer school and/or being retained is the reading standardized testing. So it is not looking good. Sounds like it is time to reach out to an attorney again.
EDIT: The teacher responded even though it is outside of office hours and said she does not believe SD will pass the test. That summer school is typically right after school lets out and is for 2 weeks. BM gets the first two weeks after school lets out and the last week before going back to school. So in my mind if we need to shift days a little so SD can attend the full summer school then fine, but all depends on BM. We won't be missing out on any visitation time when there isn't a need to so will just need to discuss once the test results and summer school schedule comes out.
Also, the teacher agreed a tutor would be good for SD over the summer. Which is refreshing because previous years the school acted like we were pushing SD too hard to get her a tutor over the summer. So will start looking for a tutor since the tutor we used previously is too far away now.
So had a mini freak out early without having all the information, but also am concerned for next year because right now it is looking like she would be retained again unless things improve.
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We found calling out our HCBM
We found calling out our HCBM for her failures and suggesting switching custody to correct said failure of the moment was enough to get HCBM moving in the right direction. It was DH's job to do that. Do not give up visitation either. It is the only time SD will get tutoring (if memory serves me right and your story from last summer)
Oh we definitely do not want to give up
any visitation. Actually just talk to SD's teacher and typically summer school is 2 weeks right after school lets out, so perhaps we see what those dates are and work with BM if we have to adjust days in one direction or the other to allow SD to attend before coming and then get her a tutor again for the summer. Yes, we have hired a tutor for SD before, but BM has claimed she has too without ever providing info on one and SD saying she has never had one at BMs.
Remind me, has SD been
Remind me, has SD been evaluated for learning difficulties? It's crazy to me that she would be struggling this much if she's going to school every day. In most cases, a teacher should be able to get a student to the point of passing the lower elementary grades without additional intervention at home or after hours. How does the school that she's enrolled in rank academically? I agree that her BM should be working with her at home, given her history, but I also question if the school is meeting her needs.
Also, if BM tries to use summer school as leverage to decrease visitation in the future, I would show up in court prepared with the mountain of evidence you have that BM has not been supportive of SD academically. Hiring a tutor for her again this summer will go a long way to prove that y'all are on top of it, if it comes down to it.
I agree about being evaluated
I agree about being evaluated for learning difficulty. Unless her attendance is poor, she should be able to learn enough while in school to at least squeak by. BTW, OP, have you guys pulled her attendance records? How many days she arrives late, leaves early, etc. How many ACTUAL absences, even if they are excused by a doctor's note? The school can't punish parents or even really make a big deal about excused absences, but the child still isn't learning.
Came back to add that in the
Came back to add that in the school system where i work, a lot of the kids who are either failing or have IEPs but no obvious disability have very poor attendance. Excused absences aren't counted when figuring out who gets referred to the child welfare and attendance dept but they do matter.
I would go for BM's throat and a custody change.
Not likely to be successful but baring BM's indiot failed parent ass for the record in front of a Judge may in part just extricate at lease part of her head from her own ass.
Include a demand for CS from BM as part of your court strategy.
That was one thing that sent SpermGrandHag and SpermGrandPa into a screaming tail spin when they got nasty. Even hinting that we would go after ammending CS or even better, change venue to our State of residence where CS would have gone well into the $1000+/mo range shut them up and if not engaged their braints, it scared the shit out of them to the point they would bite their tongues for a while.
Of course those two dumbasses were paying the SpermIdiot's CS to all three of his BMs while they raised his three youngest spawn with no financial or any other help from him. So intelligence has never been a strong suit in the SpermClan.
The chances of SD passing the
The chances of SD passing the test in a few weeks are small if she currently has an F.
Summer school -- If the district summer school is only two weeks right after the term ends, and those are BM's weeks, there is no reason SD can't attend. There is no reason BM could not adjust the schedule by a few days to make it work.
If summer school is recommended, does it have to be the district's summer school? Although you would have to pay, could she attend a summer school in your area? The district I live in runs a summer school (4weeks, half days) and accepts children who are not in district schools.
If SD has not been tested, this needs to be done now. SD has already been retained once. If SD is not on level after retention, another retention is not going to get her on level. Procedures for requesting testing vary by district. The district should have a procedure for parent request. In the district here, a parent has to put the request in writing. An oral request is not sufficient to get the ball rolling.
Retention - The letter was specific, but did it contain the entire policy? In the district here, a student, who has already been retained once, would not be retained again in elementary. They would be given extra in school support. There may be provisions for not retaining those with IEPs (which is why testing is important).
I am of a different mind I
I am of a different mind I think Mommy will gladly have her in summer school for those 2 weeks and then ship her right off to you. Remember, school will be out and Grandma's the sitter. Mommy will be glad to have her out the door for part of the summer and summer school means Grandma sits her less and that's got to be a good thing for Mommy.