Ignorance is bliss
And denial is right after.... this past Sunday we dropped by MIL house for a quick visit. I didn't really want to go but DH said that MiL had clothes for the kiddos and he had to pick up some mail that went there by mistake so I was like ok. His aunt was there and I enjoy her company so I figured it could not be too bad. So we get there and it's pretty chill. They started talking about the children and of course SD15 came up and how she doesn't come around ( by her own choice and you all know why) really want to know why MIL and the rest of the family like to live in pretend world, or maybe they don't know the full truth . They were telling DHs aunts husband that the reason why SD stopped coming is because she got too preoccupied with her boyfriend, events and such ... when In reality SD herself has said several times to DH that she does not enjoy or like to come over.. SD has made it a point to make that clear to DH. I was line here we go again with innocent SD being g yet again shielded as a angel who is too busy to see MiL , SIL and DH . DH didn't say anything back but right after that we left . But it just annoyed my that again SD doesn't even take responsibility for her own choice to not come , no that's continue to make excuses for her . Also, DH told me that SD has stopped responding to his text. He text her Friday " I love you" and nothing, yesterday he texted " I miss you and nothing l I dunno he keeps on ... he has ramped up his texted for some reason recently I think before a few week would go by but maybe since he has not received a reply he gets anxious? Who know. I don't know why he doesn't just pick up the phone and call. But I'm sure she would not answer. Any who I am loving the peace otherwise and SO looking forward to going on vacation for spring break on Thursday !
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Why
They choose not to face an uncomfortable possibility and prefer a more innocent explanation. I guess we all prefer the "glass half full" version. But it's aggravating when you're the one living with the reality. Just take comfort in knowing that if you gave them the unvarnished truth, they wouldn't believe you anyway.
Well, it's probably both true
Well, it's probably both true.. but people tend to tell the version of truth that they feel will work best. It's easier to say you are busy with social life (which may well be true).. than to talk about how she is uncomfortable in their home. TBH.. maybe the social life story is more protective of her dad than the other..
It could be a white lie.. but there are also what I might consider white truths.. reasons that might be more "socially acceptable".. and not require going into uncomfortable territory.. not having to over explain.
Self protection
Its a sore spot. Talking about the truth brings out the hurt.
Stepparents are the truth
Stepparents are the truth seers and truth tellers in the dysfunctional stepfamily.
They see what others refuse to acknowledge. They recognize the toxic patterns, the favoritism, the entitlement, the manipulation—all of it.
And that’s a dangerous position to be in.
Because if a stepparent doesn’t learn to keep quiet, to go along with the ‘program’, to play their assigned role—they will be scapegoated.
Branded as "the problem."
Labeled as "too sensitive," "too demanding," or worst of all—"not family."
But when you witness the Emperor Wears No Clothes Syndrome within the family of origin—the blind loyalty, the dysfunction passed down like a family heirloom—you’re seeing exactly where this mess began.
This isn’t new.
This is generational dysfunction—and you?
You’re just the one who wasn’t raised to excuse it.