BM sent ballons to our house for V-day... for us?
BM dropped the kids off to our house today with 2 Valentine's day balloons, apparently for DH and I. Maybe I over reacted but I Txt'ed BM and told her that wasn't appropriate.
I hate Sundays as it is, but it's not my place to say anything when it comes to most of the crap that we deal with but I am sorry, I am not comfortable with another woman buying my husband gifts of any kind, specially for a romantic holiday.
And it's not the first time that I have had this conversation with BM. I have also informed her that it's not appropriate for her to get me anything for mother's day (after she insulted me 2 years ago with a picture of her and the boys as a gift) or Christmas (she wraps up something that some one gave her and she didn't want). I know these gift are supposed to be from the SKids but I they have told us that they had nothing to do with it and that BM picked out and paid for everything. At least at our house they have NO interest in gift giving.
BM claims that it's in the CO to 'help' the boys get gifts for the other parent on Mother's day, Father's Day, Birthdays and Christmas. But it's not in the final copy only the ruff drafts I found in the basement. We haven't talked to a lawyer yet about wither or not it can be enforced. So we take them to the store a few times a year and have them pick out something for BM but they don't enjoy it and would rather shop for themselves.
When I txt'ed her I just told her that it was inappropriate and if the boys want to get us gifts then they should really talk to DH or I about it, not her. (If they want to get me something I would rather DH help them with it since he knows what I like.)
She txt'ed back with an apology and something about they wanted to get us something. She didn't think it would be a problem.
I told her that it was creepy given their past and added that the boy have ever asked to get her or her hubby anything for any reason (they are 5 and 7, they don't remember when her birthday is) adding that I was just letting her know my feelings on the matter.
She replied with - no problem. She likes to make sure that they use their allowance on others and not just themselves so when they ask she let's them.
I responded by telling her that they could spend the money on her and her family. DH and I don't need or want anything other than their time. 
no response.
It also annoys me because SS7 keeps saying that BM doesn't have any money. So why is she wasting money on DH and I? Balloons just go flat in a few days and I toss them out. DH got me chocolate which I love because I can eat it.
Do any of you celebrate Valentine's day with you kids/sKids? We don't usually, to us it's more of an adult holiday that we share with each other.
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Oh and I am not entirely sure
Oh and I am not entirely sure that one of them was for me, they may have both been for DH. We did not and have never gotten her a gift from Valentines day.
We don't celebrate V-Day with
We don't celebrate V-Day with SD. I'm not sure if SO ever did, but, for as long as I've been with him, he's never purchased so much as a card for SD for V-Day and certainly has not gotten any gifts from her, either. And, if we ever have our own child, we won't be doing V-Day with that kid either.
Thankfully, GUBM stopped "helping" SD get him gifts after our first two months together. Once we moved in together, she kind of got the hint that it would take more than her buying SO a $100 lawn chair and a fancy blender (both with SO's money, btw, which made me LOL so hard) to scare me off. So, rather than buy him gifts "from SD" she just ramped up the crazy and started PASing. Weeeeee.
I don't remember getting
I don't remember getting anything from her/them last year.
Our BM is very materialistic and when we started dating she would buy him this really nice stuff but then I think she got her cards all maxed out because now DH gets basically a bunch of useless junk. I think she was hoping that if we got him nice things then we would get her nice stuff but we never spent that much on her. We were just required to get 'something'.
We don't have a PAS issues - yet and I have explained to sKids that it's not about the gifts. I have told them that we don't want anything from BM but we like stuff from them, but prefer homemade gifts and such.
Oh, she's one of THOSE
Oh, she's one of THOSE gifters...the kind that give big, fancy gifts in the hopes that they'll get big and fancy in return. Blech.
See, a nice homemade gift or card from a kid is awesome in my book, too. And way more preferable to a gift that a BM goes and picks out for them to give. If my SD would just make cards for SO - not even for me, just SO - for his birthday and Christmas, I'd be tickled pink. It sure beats her forgetting every year.
This is just weird. Really
This is just weird. Really weird and most certainly very inappropriate. It sounds to me from the other examples you gave that she is fully aware of what she is doing and that she is doing it on purpose to get under your skin and then playing dumb when called out about it. I cut BM out of my life completely 11 months ago and have not spoken to her since and do not plan to ever again. She has a child with my husband, not me, she is nothing to me, and there is not one single reason why I should have any contact with her. I highly recommend it. DH does not have any other contact with her except that which is absolutely necessary and only in relation to the child. My philosophy is that unless it is an emergency, it does not need to be discussed, and there does not need to be any kind of chit chat or false notions of friendship.
Sadly she is getting
Sadly she is getting progressively better. When DH and I first started dating she was horribly inappropriate. I continue to call her out on some things just to kind of let her know that I don't approve - she is a total people pleaser so she tries to be all nice about it.
She has these illusions that her and DH are friends but he hates her so much. He never talks to her about anything other than their kids but she still tries to tell him about her life.
I want to try the whole no contact thing but the issue we have is DH doesn't even want to talk to her so there are time were nothing gets said and maybe it should. Maybe he need counseling or something to learn how to deal with her.
He is one of those if you cant say something nice but saying nothing at all just makes BM think that she is right and everything is fine.
WOW. I can't believe your BM
WOW. I can't believe your BM gave DH a book like that :jawdrop:
I would have had a hard time not smacking BM upside the head with the book...
Ouch that is a horrible
Ouch that is a horrible gift.
I would like for DH talk to to BM about not doing the gift giving. They are both remarried so it seems to me like a better option would be letting me and her Hubby handle the gift buying for our spouses. And truth be told I some times take the sKids out shopping and get a gift from us.
For v-day I go chocolate. I just wanted chocolate - it had nothing to do with Valentine's day. But it was on sale:) I don't need balloons or flowers.
We celebrate v-day as a
We celebrate v-day as a family simply because it's impossible to get a sitter (bm is not in the picture and certainly wouldn't.choose v-day as the day to pop up and want to have ss7 ). So yes, the three of us have a nice quiet dinner and exchange presents and candy and cards. My parents (read my mom) give a card to me and the hubby and one to ss. Ss makes a card for my parents. It's our little tradition; v-day has evolved into a family holiday for us over the years and I enjoy it. That said, because dh and bm were never friendly after their break up, because there is a lot of bad blood, and because bm has very little to do with ss, yes I would think it highly inappropriate, ackward, dramatic, and conniving for bm to give something to me, dh or both of us on v-day. And creepy. Actually a few years ago she and her now ex gave us a Xmas card and I was really upset. Dh thought it was weird and it was incredibly ackward and we saw t as manipulative. It's strange to get a card from someone who two days earlier screamed at you for an hour. Lol. So yes. Really inappropriate.
that would be fun to do. But
that would be fun to do. But currently we don't celebrate it and never have with the kids. We buy each other some candy and a card.
The whole "I didn't think it would be a problem' thing cracks me up. She had to have known that it was creepy. How would she like it if her Hubby's ex sent him a balloon on v-day? If I were evil next year I should send him something from a secret admirer. lol j/k
Our BM does the inappropriate
Our BM does the inappropriate gift giving to my DH as well. Its really freaky!! The last gift she gave him was in Dec for my DHs 40th BDay. She sent one of those Mardi Gras looking necklaces that flashes & says Im the Big 4-0!! On it!!! She knows I shop WITH my 3 SSs for every occasion & she does it cause she has horrible boundary issues!! Shes remarried as well!!!
We are now mailing back to her every present. Still wrapped. From now on!!! We have had enough!!! It makes Her look sleezy & disgusting!! & of course the kids did Not pick it out & have NO idea whats in the wrapped packages!!! Its pathetic!!
I told DH after the mother
I told DH after the mother day thing that I was no longer accepting gifts from BM. And right before our wedding BM e-mailed me (for whatever reason) and I took the opportunity to tell her not to get me anything any more (and why), DH would handle the gifts for me from the sKids. And I also basically told her that I was in this for the long haul, DH was mine now and she needed to stay out of our relationship. Since then she had been pretty good but she tends to fall off the crazy wagon from time to time. lol
That's just weird. I'd just
That's just weird.
I'd just take the balloons to your nearest children's hospital once the kids are out of sight. And have DH address it with her and tell her it's inappropriate.
As for how we celebrate Valentines, we do as a couple, and we give the kids each a box of chocolates too. Who doesn't like candy?
And SDs usually go out for dinner and/or a movie with some friends and/or their boyfriend(s). SD 17 has a BF for the first time so they went out to a nice restaurant, just the two of them. She was so excited about that
DH inhaled the helium and was
DH inhaled the helium and was singing to the boys and I last night. We had fun with it but it was just weird. Oh and I guess there was a heart shaped sucker too which we will just return to BM's house and the kids can eat it.