Started talking to bm about summer vacation placement the other night and she wants sd for their weekly vacation with her inlaws. They are going the week of the 4th of july. Problem is that 4th of july is our holiday this year! They leave on Saturday, June 29 and she would have to have her back to us by Wednesday, July 3 at 5 p.m., so sd would still get to spend 5 days with them on vacation before coming back. She says that it should be up to my 10 year old sd to make the decision of what she wants to do. DH and I say that she should not be making the decision and that court papers are in place so that kids don't have to choose between their parents. They know they only have her every other year for the 4th and we think the in-laws should work around that if they really want her included every year. She puts sd in the middle and shouldn't be doing that. This is not the first time we had this issue either. One year bm and her family were going camping and we had bought tickets to a professional baseball game out of town that happened to be the same weekend because it was during our placement. When bm told us that she wanted to keep sd, we told her no because we already had plans. Again, she wanted sd to make the decision. We told bm that we should be able to plan things when it is our placement without having to worry about whether or not she will come with us. Need advice because this is going to be an ongoing issue. We really don't want to give in to her, but at the same time, she turns sd against us and makes us out to be the bad guy!