And The Travel Ball Saga Continues
It was less than 5 days ago where exH and I sat down to discuss the kids' summer schedules, expectations, etc. During this meeting exH mentioned he was going to try to take some time off to take the kids camping. Fine, great, no problem.
I also let him know that I would be making plans for me and the kids m-f days, since they will be home with me during my maternity leave but if he wanted them on his days or any extras just to let me know in advance. Fine, great, no problem.
Well tonight he asks if he can pick the kids up at 10 tomorrow morning because they are going camping. I tell him that 1) DD12 is still at her cousin's an hour away (which he knew, but probably forgot) and that I'd need to go get her and 2) DS9 has practice for his new travel ball team. (we had previously spent quite a bit of time hashing out whether he'd play or not. The boys will only be playing in two tournaments this summer, one of which DS will miss due to previous plans with exH and family. I just paid $100 for uniform (which will also be used in the fall) and tournament fees. I also spent $70 on replacing equipment - some of which exH had lost. I did not ask to be reimbursed. The boys only have 3 more practices prior to their tournament.
So after much back and forth, he states that he will make arrangements to get DS9 after practice but he'll get the other two earlier.
I let my two sons know that they'll be going camping tomorrow with their father and the first thing that DS9 tells me is that he has a scrimmage tomorrow and he needs to get ready for his games next weekend. I let him know that it's all taken care of. I share the info with exH, with the intent of ensuring that he is aware that this is important to DS.
But then it turns into this big ol thing about how he's had the trip planned (not true because just 5 days ago it was only an idea), how he gives and gives and doesn't ask for much (um, ya. Me too. It's called being a parent), how he is being pushed aside and his desire to take his kids camping is being ignored for a "one month baseball team." and on and on.
I try to be very supportive (an not a total bitch) with my responses but the fact of the matter is that he AGAIN has made plans without considering the kids' prior commitments:
- I work hard to support and provide for the kids too (and how dare he insinuate otherwise) and still find time to schedule their individual activities, get them there, schedule family time, and assist him during his time if necessary
- I know you've been busy at work and have not been happy that you haven't been putting the kids first, but you agreed to this activity that DS is really in to. Let him fulfill his commitment to his team and allow him to participate.
He is throwing a hissy fit because he must have done some major rearranging of his schedule last minute to make this happen but he forgot to take anything else into consideration. I'm sorry he is feeling belittled. Sometimes as parents, it's not all about us. Sorry his little fee fees are hurt because his little disney-dad-time isn't going to play out like he wants it to.
Can wait to see what's next...
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Comments
I'm guess the meeting wasn't
I'm guess the meeting wasn't as a success as you would have liked. Sorry but I do hope things work out for the kids.
That's the odd thing. The
That's the odd thing. The meeting went very well, we covered everything and both left feeling very positive. Not sure if he was just home and getting an earful from SM (which is what DH thinks) or if his lack of ability to manage his time around the kids' schedule is just a low priority for him that keeps coming back to haunt him.
Which is why sm souls have
Which is why sm souls have been there or the meeting shouldn't have happened. Things Like this happens when a husband and wife don't do something like this together. They need to be on the same page and as I stated before I know my dh and he wouldn't think of certain things and I am the one that knows important dates and things that are going on. Dh wouldn't remember half of the summer schedule.
That might be what your ex did and his wife reminded him of certain things. Plus as you can see he did the same thing with you about the ball not remembering that he has practice or a game during the camping trip.
I really do hope it works out for the kids.
You know, I don't think SM is
You know, I don't think SM is involved at all in his scheduling. She seems to be pretty seperate and does her own thing. I don't think she's even going on the camping trip - just him and the kids.
They are an odd couple. She travels and goes out without him all the time and he does things alone with the kids: vacations, their events, etc. He's very proud/ guarded and wants to do it all himself.
He just planned this camping trip in the last 5 days. It wasn't something that slipped his mind.
I hope it works out too.
Did he not write dates down?
Did he not write dates down? That would be both my husband and my own dad. Agrees with it all in the moment, writes nothing down and completely forgets the second he walks out the door. Then when he makes his plans he feels blindsided by all the other commitments.
I know how hard it is for me to coordinate with my own husband so I can't even imagine having to deal with a whole seperate household with those kinds of commitments.
A bit funny.... When I read your title, my mind didn't immediately go to traveling baseball team....but a physical ball that was teavelling between you houses with the kids causing drama, lol. I was thinking king....just get a second ball, problem solved, lol.
Lol. The traveling ball like
Lol. The traveling ball like traveling pants!
He did write things down, just apparently not the right things.
Last night, I asked the team manager to make sure he was on the team email list. She laughed at me because HE was the one that took DS to tryouts and completed the parent info form and he only wrote down MY email. It's like he wants me to be in charge of everything, and won't take responsibility.
Men are really bad at keeping
Men are really bad at keeping track of things. Mine is famous for agreeing to things with BM and then forgetting to tell me or not remembering the details. Of course our BM loves to change stuff around all the time. Our dinner night is Monday night & they stay over, for the last month she will email Monday am & some activity or something she wants to do with them cancels it.
On the flip side our life has been dictated by little league for 7 years and it sucks. We have baseball 5 nights a week between two kids and basically from May through July my husband has no time quality time to be with his kids. Our BM loves it because she is the ultimate baseball mom and sucks up to everyone so they love her. Their baseball is her socializing. I guess better that then other things but it really creates a crappy situation for our family who just want to hang out and maybe do something else with the kids. I personally took this year off from little league, didn't sign BS almost 6 up for a summer activity and am happy happy happy. After work we go home, hang out, go to the playground, park, whatever.
I hear ya on time being eaten
I hear ya on time being eaten up by the activities. We actually took last year off from ball as I was laid off from my job in January and didn't know where I'd be working and if I'd be able to get the kids to where they needed to be. I got a job pretty quickly, but it was nice to have the time off, but we missed the flurry of activity.
I can also agree that men are horrible with this planning - at least the ones I deal with. I'd ask my dad if he could watch the kids or if they'd want to come over and he'd just say, "ask your SM" because he never knew what the family plans were.
My DH doesn't know what's going on either and asks me when we get his son back from BM - even though we are custodial and he is always with us. He can't even remember the drop off/ pick up times.