65 days and online school?
DH has told me that SD15 wants to go to school online. It is 65 days till I move back home. She is bargaining with DH that if she can stay home and do online school then she would go to counseling and be nice to me when I move back in. The hard part is that I think Indiana's online public school is amazing and could be a great fit for her learning style. She only has average grades in school and we know she is capable of much more.
Now she has added a new level to the plead to DH. She says she is bullied and the kids make fun of her. She is a bigger girl. SD15 has used this excuse not to ride the bus. If it wasn't for the fact that SD15 would probably do online school very well, I would agree. If it wasn't for the fact that she would be home all day... everyday... I would be fine.
But I am not fine with it. I think it sends the wrong message if DH and I allow her to "bargain" as though she has power. I think she should go to counseling because she is a troubled girl who harms other people. and she should be nice to me because I am nice to her. If I was a bitch then I would understand her attitude. She should feel like she has no power. To make my point I asked DH what he would give ME to move back home. It sounds ridiculous phrased in a different setting. A favorite phrase of SD15 is "if I do _______ (what we want like clean her room) will you ___________ (whatever she wants). I don't like this. Pulling your own weight in the house is normal.
So. I'm moving back home in 65 days and am ever more scared because I'm afraid DH will give in to SD15 demands for online school just to get her into counseling. He knows that SD15 is notorious for getting what she wants and then backing out on her agreement. I hope DH is paying attention to the manipulation going on.
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ARRGH, my eyes hurt reading
ARRGH, my eyes hurt reading this one....so many WRONGS in this scenario. I feel for you sm2011, your fears are not unfounded.
First, I am against online school in general. Maybe there is 1 out of 100 where it is the best-case scenario and a good education, but for the majority of kids, I think a classroom environment is more conducive for learning. Also, a classroom education vs an online education....I think online is viewed as "less" of a school.
Kind of like getting your GED instead of a high school diploma and getting a "virtual" college degree at the University of Phoenix vs Ohio State (for example)
I think your SD15 and my former SD15 must share notes because she is NOTORIOUS for the negotiating. It's every possible. Single. Thing. And. It. Drives. Me. INSANE. Maybe it's a good trait to have if you go into sales, but in your home environment it is obnoxious and rude. When you are told to do something, DO IT!!! Every blessed thing is not up for debate! I would have to leave the room when she started in on this because SO would just dive into that hole and not come out for HOURS.
I work in the virtual K-12
I work in the virtual K-12 education arena, and I can tell you it has its benefits. It's not for everyone, but in this day and age, depending on where you live and other factors, it can FAR outweigh the public school alternatives.
As for your actual step problem, I would tell DH that if she is able to negotiate her way into getting what she wants, you will need to reconsider moving back in 65 days. That's not enough time to get a feel for how this new situation will pan out and you're not willing to risk it. I sure as hell wouldn't co-habitate with a man who bargained with a kid over something as serious as education and basic common decency.
If DH agrees to send her to
If DH agrees to send her to online school, it should be because that will be the best way for SD to get her high school education.....NOT because it's a bargaining chip to get her into much needed counseling. Education is not a topic for debate, it is her FUTURE.
And I also agree with sm2011 thought process that SD will just back out once she gets her way. Bad idea all around IMO.
Just as a one off....I LOVE the fact that we could politely speak our views on online school without getting all hostile on each other. I absolutely respect the opinions of others here...especially the educators and teachers on this topic!