Update on Doc Visit for Anti-Depressants and FDH's Reaction to the News
I just got back from the doctor and just ingested my first dose of Prozac which I will need to be on for the next 6 months, minimum. I will also be eating mac-n-cheese for dinner which goes against my paleo diet in every way possible. But I could care less. I have thrown up everything I've eaten all day so I am going to eat something I know my body can handle right now.
The doctor (new doc I've never seen but I am switching to him b/c I hate my primary) was really gentle and sweet. He gave me a depression quiz and I scored 21 out of 25. You need to be 5 or lower to be considered not depressed. So basically, I hit the top of the charts. He was shocked.
He did ask about stressors and I said "I live with a man who has four teenage kids and a crazy ex wife, so ya, I have home stress!". He actually put that in his notes. I explained that SD12 has mental health and behavioral issues that are going largely unaddressed and it is causing me major anxiety. He sympathized. He asked if my SO was supportive and I said no. I told him you guys and my friends are my support.
Anyway, I am hoping this will help me feel a little better to evaluate where to go from here.
FDH finally called (has been in all day meetings and sent one text earlier in response to my email about this. He said he was shocked I scored so high and that I hid this well. I told him that I probably am hiding it but given the amount of arguments we have that he shouldn't be so shocked. I also told him that it was rather shitty that he didn't excuse himself and call me the moment he read my email. He apologized.
He asked if this was all because of him. I told him I am no stranger to depression so I can't entirely blame him. But this in no way negates the major issues we're having related to SD and BM. He said he understood and that he called SD's counselor to make an appointment but understood if I no longer wanted to attend. I didn't respond. When he asked how long I was going to be on this, I could tell that when I said "six months minimum" he was a bit alarmed-- especially after we discussed that one of the major side effects is lack of a sex drive. Good.Maybe he will finally see how his own shitty parenting directly impacts HIM. Let him worry about things now. I am done.
So-- onto the next phase here...
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Comments
Funny how they always seem
Funny how they always seem more motivated to do what they already should be doing once sex gets involved. I'm always amused when dumbass guys accuse their women of using sex as a weapon. No, no, you're not getting any because you're doing crap that's a total turn off. Stop being a jerk/pushover/baby and maybe there'll be some interest.
Hope you feel better soon Anne.
I know! I wanted to say
I know! I wanted to say "Well, I haven't really been into it in the last few months anyway because I like to screw men who have BALLS!" But I didn't.
Oh, I have been SO clear with
Oh, I have been SO clear with him about these issues. I just finally got tired of talking. I am sure he will want to discuss this more when he gets home from his business dinner. I will be frank if the subject of sex comes up.
I am pretty convinced that my
I am pretty convinced that my sense of humor is the only thing that's kept me sane the last several months. That and this site.
I am glad to hear that ball recovery is possible!
Thank you. It's helped me
Thank you. It's helped me before too. That's how I knew it was time.
I am not sure I can
I am not sure I can definitively answer that question right now. I would say that there is a TON of good. He's generous, kind, attractive, sweet, loving, affectionate, smart, and funny. We get along incredibly well outside of these issues. It's almost weird. In the past, I was able to enjoy him when the skids and BM issues weren't happening. Our alone weekends were blissful. I realized today that is no longer the case and told him so. I can't put those things out of my mind anymore.
So my plan now is to get these meds in my system AND disengage from SD at the same time. Give him a chance to really step up without my constantly asking him to do it. Start to feel better and stronger and then take a good look around me, at us, at him and the whole situation and see how I feel. I have never, ever had a problem being single. In fact, there is a lot about it that I liked when I was 100% single for many years. So I can do that again. But I don't want to walk away from the only man I've ever loved this much right now. Need to clear the fog in my head and make the right decisions when I feel better.
PS. I like his other kids. I
PS. I like his other kids. I don't like how they were raised. But I do like them, especially one of them. I'd be heartbroken to lose her.
Thank you. I am worried about
Thank you.
I am worried about what type of adults I will have to live with too. That is actually the reason all this bothers me so much. The way things are going with YSD, I have 6 more years of him paying CS for her but possible lifetime of issues. I can't let another person mess up my life like that. I've worked too hard raising my own son and working really hard so I can finally enjoy my life. Can't lose sight of that.
Thanks for the support. We shall see what happens from here.
Thank you. You are right.
Thank you. You are right.
Holy crap! Well at least you
Holy crap! Well at least you got an official diagnosis that you can't ignore. Any way can you take a good long break from your DH and his kids? Just long enough to help you build back up your strength. I worry he and his devil spawn are going to cause you serious physical health problems. It looks like they already are. You can't even keep down food right now!
Please take care of yourself and give yourself a break from all this if you can.
Yup! Can't ignore "Diagnosis:
Yup! Can't ignore "Diagnosis: Depression with Anxiety" all typed out on a piece of paper next to my blood pressure and weight.
It's funny you mentioned that. I told him Friday, during our big fight" that I was considering going out of state to stay with my mom for a month. But I thought about it and she will drive me bonkers. I need to stay here. But I do plan to be away Friday afternoon through Saturday afternoon. So that will help. I may try to leave Thursday evening to avoid SD that night too.
Are the pills causing you to
Are the pills causing you to throw up?? And about the paleo do you crossfit??
about 6 months after the
about 6 months after the skids came to live with us I started getting blurry vision. After all the tests were done, found out it was stress and I went on Lexapro.
I hated the way I felt on it though, always sluggish. I decided I wanted off meds (have had problems with script drugs in the past) and decided that I needed to change my life instead. DSO had not stepped up to the plate with his kids. He knew I didn't want to raise more kids (mine baby had just moved out to college not long before that) but he took custody anyway w/o making any type of plans for child care or how to even pay for the skids.
After 6 months I decided that I wasn't going to be a slave to a drug so I could 'cope'. DSO was given the option of changing that way things were in our house or quitting his job, going on welfare and moving out. That motivated his ass to step up more in parenting.
Dealing with skids and BM,
Dealing with skids and BM, can absolutly drive a normally happy an healthy woman right to the emergency room!!!! It just NEVER ends, and takes a toll on the body!!
At least this way, u won't give a crap about it, it's kinda like getting a numbed vacation inside ur head!