A few weeks ago I got a phone call from my attorney BM's therapist (not sure of degree level) was asking/ requesting permission for BM to send me a letter.

Due to the RO that is in place she cannot have any contact with me and the therapist was trying to find I guess an alternate route for BM to send me this letter. We knew that BM had been doing her anger management classes in jail and that she was taking her required parenting classes in jail, this was the first we had heard that she was in 'therapy'.

I told the attorney the letter could be sent to him for review. If it was more of BM's old bullshit that he could just tear it up and forget about it. If he felt it should be forwarded to me then fine, I would leave that to his discretion.

He relayed the message to the therapist including the fact he would be reading the letter and making the decision to forward or not. If it was hostile, he would throw it away. (Since I was granting permission for the letter, not like it could be used to prove her 'breaking the ro' and that would be a really shitty thing to do anyway.)

I quickly forgot about the letter. Life, kids, work, DH being the occasional bonehead... it tends to blur days together. I received the letter today in the mail.

I am really thinking jail was probably the best thing that could have happened to BM... it made her THINK. Either that, or she is in a 12 step program and is attempting to make amends.

Names are redacted: Everything else is word for word, spelling, grammar, etc

(JHW)

First things first: Thank you for giving me the opportunity to speak with you through this letter. I am aware that you did not have to afford me the courtesy of corresponding with you but I appreciate your willingness to overlook the past and give me an additional chance to speak with you despite my not deserving it.

The main purpose of this letter is to extend to you my apologies for the many ways I have wronged you over the past several years. If you are loathe to believe that my apology is sincere and heartfelt I can not blame you. I do hope to show through my actions in years coming that I am sorry for the way I have treated you, spoken about you and how I have encouraged the children to treat you.

I have no excuse. Every bit of my behavior stemmed from my own jealousy. (DH) had girlfriends prior to you, that the children either did not like or were neutral in regard to. Then you arrived on the scene and they liked you. They enjoyed spending time at your house, with you, with your children, your family and even your pets. Your opinion mattered to them. Your approval mattered to them. I stupidly felt that my children were slipping away from me and that I was losing them to another woman.

I admit I was also jealous of your relationship with (DH). I saw him acting in ways I had never seen him act. It was obvious that he was in love with you and that you came first in his life and despite my knowing our relationship was over, that he and I made each other miserable, I was burning with jealousy that someone else could make him that happy. Meanwhile I had noone making me that happy.

I admit I talked alot of shit about you. I admit I told the children they did not have to listen to you.
I admit I told the children that you had been having an affair with (DH) while we were married. I admit I had (skid1) doing things with the intent of breaking up your relationship with DH. There are many other things I have done or said that I am not proud of now. I am not trying to justify my behavior. It was wrong. I was wrong. If I had invested as much time trying to make myself happy as I did trying to make you unhappy I would not be where I am now.

I also want to thank you for being a parent to the kids. (skid1) told me at the supervised visit that you helped her study to graduate. All of the kids have expressed many times over the years that you are good to them, even if their way of expressing it was "She made me go to bed! or Dad grounded me because I got a D and I know it's her fault!" Their complaints I can see now as normal kids, irritated because a parental figure told them no, or a variation of no.

And thank you, for being a mom to them now, when I physically can not be there to be their mom and help them.

Sincerely,
BM