Yes SS, we snuck off to McDonalds without you.
So on our last date night, (last Friday), my folks decided to take BS and BD for a treat at McDonalds. They each got a little toy.
SS discovered one of these toys in BS’s room and proceeds to question me about it. I however, am completely oblivious and it took me a while to get wise to SS’s line of questioning. Conversation went like this:
SS: “Draco, did you guys go to McDonalds recently?”
Me: “No.”
SS: “Are you sure?”
Me: “Yes.”
SS: “Are you really sure?”
Me: “Yes, I am *REALLY* sure. Why do you ask?”
SS: “I just want to know when you went to McDonalds.”
Me: “I honestly cannot remember the last time I went to McDonalds.”
SS: “Did you go last weekend?”
Me: “No.”
SS: “But you just said you don’t remember the last time you went to McDonalds.”
By now I am getting a little annoyed but I still don’t know what SS is getting at. I am busy cleaning up in the bathroom and trying to get BS and BD ready for bed while SS is interrogating me.
SS: “Did you go to McDonalds Friday night? How about Saturday? Sunday?”
Me: “SS? What is with the ‘third degree’?”
SS: “I just want to know when you guys went to McDonalds.”
Me: “The last time I went to McDonalds I believe was on my lunch break two or three weeks ago. What of it?”
SS: “So you didn’t go this weekend?”
Me: “No, We didn’t!….and even if we did, what is the big deal? You are at your Dad’s on the weekends!”
SS: “Yeah I know but….I like McDonalds.”
By now I am having a hard time not showing my annoyance. I’m the only one in this family that sees SS doubling up on all special occasions. Two Easters, two birthday parties, two Christmasses….and he is coming apart at the seams because we *MIGHT* have gone to McDonalds without him?
DW comes home (she went out to the bank to take out some cash because "a certain someone" forgot to mention that tomorrow is picture day at school), and he proceeds to give DW the third degree too.
DW also got annoyed but that's when it dawned on me why SS was making a fuss about McDonalds.
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Don't you know??? We are all
Don't you know??? We are all supposed to sit in suspended animation while the skids are at the other parent's home. We can't do anything fun, watch tv or eat anything in the house until they return. Life waits for skids.
FFS....my skids will look at the snack box and if any snacks are gone upon their return they think they have the right to look at DH and I and ask....."Who ate MY snacks??" I used to laugh but they weren't amused. Now I answer...."the people who pay the bills and bought said snacks. Got anything to say??"
I know! Like somehow our home
I know! Like somehow our home is put on "PAUSE" while SS is at his Dad's. Okay, when he was smaller I could understand his dissappointment but the kid is 13 now.
My SS is 13 also, total baby
My SS is 13 also, total baby bs, he will pout if he figures out that DH and I go out to eat in the 2 weeks he is with MOTY. He searches and interrogates us also.
DW used to ride her own guilt
DW used to ride her own guilt and used to suggest that we take out SS to somehow "compensate" him for the time he missed out on being with us. I had a two word response for DW "[censored] that!". Why should we feel at all responsible for ensuring that SS gets all the perks of living with us full time?
Oh my Gawd, I was picturing a
Oh my Gawd, I was picturing a child of 8 or so.
Ladyface, I am jealous of
Ladyface, I am jealous of you! I only went to a Renaissance Festival once and would LOVE to go again
Sounds like fun! Lol about
Sounds like fun! Lol about the sword swallowing... that is SO something my guy would say! Where do you buy costumes? I would love a wench costume just to play in. Unfortunately the only Renaissance Festival here is populated by a bunch of white trash ghetto folk so it kind of blows.
I only have two costumes in
I only have two costumes in my repertoire. One is a king's costume and the other is a French Bourgoisie costume. The king's costume is my favorite. I wore it in the city once on Halloween. The movie Gladiator had just come out. Two people said I looked Joaquim Phoenix's character!
I get Joaquim Phoenix and
I get Joaquim Phoenix and your DH gets Gerard Butler!?
Now I am jealous of your husband!
THIS! IS! SPARTA!
We happened to mention that
We happened to mention that we had gone to see a movie on a weekend the skids were with BM. Skid1, at 12 years old, was super hurt that we went to the movies without him. FDH asked him, "So, do you expect us to sit home and do nothing when you guys aren't around?" Skid1 said "Yep." And FDH replied, "Get over it dude. We don't hibernate just because you're not here."
They're really going to be pissed when they find out that we're going to NY to see MY family for Thanksgiving, and they'll be staying at their mom's. I really don't care, because the last time I saw my family was 1.5 years ago and they were in tow. I want to visit with them without having to worry about skids being entertained.
>FDH replied, "Get over it
>FDH replied, "Get over it dude. We don't hibernate just because you're not here."<
LOVE IT! Kudos to your FDH! I only wish DW got on board with that mentality sooner! She still feels guilty (I guess that cannot be helped) but she realizes now that it makes no sense to hold back on our fun time just because SS isn't here.
I think FDH has a bit of a
I think FDH has a bit of a different perspective than some dads and moms because he grew up with stepfamily dynamics. His parents divorced when he and his sister were very young, and he has had two stepdads and two stepmoms (both of his parents have been married to their respective spouses for two decades so at least he has gotten to see healthy relationships). He has a wonderful SD and SM now and is very close to all four of his parents, but he also understands boundaries because he grew up with them. It's normal to him.
My ex once suggested on XMAS
My ex once suggested on XMAS day (his kids decided they couldn't make the 2 hour drive that day and wanted to come the following day) that we have OUR XMAS the following day, open gifts, do the big meal, etc because the skids couldn't make it. My mother-in-law happened to be visiting us and she said (before I could even get it out) NO, we will have our XMAS today and they can open their gifts tomorrow and have leftovers. I loved my mother in law.
I was going through my BS10's
I was going through my BS10's baby pictures and I realized that when he was little, not only did we NOT hibernate while the big kids (SS with BM1 & SD with BM2) were gone... We went out of our way to do stuff without them!!!
I used to think that we had make a big deal out of holidays, but lately... If you're not here, there should be a few things for you. Now, well SS17 is here full-time and SD14 has always been given the choice to come or not (her BM's decision) and a lot of with-holding on non-holiday times and making sure she was here to get stuff for birthday (Oct), Christmas, and Easter. There were a few years of her BM refusing to let her be around (no CO) due to other stuff.
Last time we saw SD14 was Father's Day this year and she was missing her mom so we told her to call when she was ready to come back... Her birthday is coming, we'll send flowers to the school with a card. Who knows when she'll call, and if she does, she'll get dinner out... No more presents without contact!! I call BullSh!t on that!!! But that's what she was taught.
1. I am not blaming SS for
1. I am not blaming SS for being in a blended family. I simply refuse to validate his belief that life is somehow treating him unfairly, especially when he will ALWAYS have more than what I can provide for my own bios. I'm not annoyed or jealous. I'm just saying that he is pretty lucky.
2. Sorry, I don't have the key to the black box in my brain so that you can rewind everything frame by frame as it went down. You'll just have to take my word for it that during the convo I saw him eyeing the happy-meal toy and I only got the gist of what he was trying to get at after our conversation was over.
Just because you "say it enough to me", doesn't clasify it as advice. All you are doing is cherry picking my blogs to enforce a conclusion you already made about me and my role in my family. What you are really doing is a vile internet practice called "strawmanning".
Quote: >This sort of shit, plus the whole school thing, makes me believe that you want to be soooo engaged with raising him and you want total control.<
The judge believed that I and DW to be better suited for providing for SS's educational needs. Hence why our household was designated as primary. So yes, I AM engaged with his academic endeavors. I believe I have mentioned this to you TWICE now but - again - you seem more pre-occupied with cherry picking my blogs to demonize me and projecting your own family situation onto mine. Good luck with that.
>Knee jerk reacting to what
>Knee jerk reacting to what other people say in response to you doesn't make them the bad guys in life. That doesn't define me at all.<
Wasn't a knee jerk reaction. Virtually every single comment you make on my blogs have been rife with harsh criticism bordering on insulting. None of it is deserved. If YOU took the effort to get to know me you would see that I am not the DW-controlling SS-hating freakazoid that your comments paint me out to be. However even if you don't bother to get to know me, (and I wouldn't blame you), I really don't see the logic behind any of your comments to my blog entries. The only conclusions I can draw is that you are somehow projecting your relationship with your step with mine, ESPECIALLY the repeated comments about me being in a "macho-man" competition with SS. Not only is that so far off the mark but utterly insane. I have never gotten into a Mano-a-mano competition with ANYONE in my entire life. I never said you were stupid Dtzy, and if I did place you in the same "clique" as the Draco haters I would have started deleting your comments long ago.