OT - SO drinking....
So just curious for those BM's out there did your significant other drink while you where pregnant? I dont mind it when DBF has a drink when we are at a family dinner or bbq or something. It really gets to me when he goes for a 2nd or 3rd when it is just us relaxing. I brought it up with him and of course it turned into a fight. I just dont get it! I would not want a drink if i knew he couldn't drink... I have had 1 or 2 (before i got pregnant) when he did not feel like drinking beyond that I just had no desire. I guess I dont understand the drive behind that when it is just us hanging out and watching a movie. The way he reacted thought it was as if I was asking the world of him, which made me even more mad.
What happened was he pours his second drink... leaves everything open on the counter. He had really wanted a paralizer for a few days, ok fair enough. The first one didnt turn out so he got a second one whatever. Then I notice everything out. So I nicely sit down and tell him "so honey i get that you have been craving it but I am just not sure when it turned from you not drinking when we are on our own to you going for 3 or 4 drinks..." He looses it saying I was asuming the worst of him AGGGG.
Eventually we talked it out he has just decided to not do period but thats not what I was asking for at all! He says he gets that but wtf am I completely of base?
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I am confused. Are you mad
I am confused. Are you mad that he's drinking because YOU can't? If so...that is just ridiculous. Of course, unless you are an alcoholic and you are afraid of relapsing because you can't control the urge. Being pregnant does not mean your BF/DH needs to abstain from all things "non-prego" related. That is absurd.
Im not concerned about him
Im not concerned about him being an alcoholic and no neither am I. I just didnt think he would continue while I was pregnant. I guess I dont understand it I dont drink to get drunk again when I am not pregnant. I drink when I am out socializing and I want something tasty if no one else is drinking it seems stupid to me. That and it has happened 2 times now in a week it honestly would not bother me if he had one or two drinks a couple times during the week but going for that 3rd or 4th really gets to me... At that point I dont even want to kiss him or have him in breathing distance because the smell makes me ill its just gross! Then its annoying because I am not even interested in touching BF or snuggling in bed.
We had talked about it right when I got pregnant and my understanding was that he wasnt going to do it, now all the sudden that has changed. We have in the past gone out and I got something yummy do drink and he got his beer or whatever so maybe that is what was aggravating me. It is kind of like you said Echo it would be nice I am more disappointed that he didnt man up and do the nice thing. I dont go and eat yummy food in front of people when I know they cant have any. I had to sit there drinking water while he has yummy drinks. LOL yes chalk it up to hormones I am guessing.
Some people like to drink
Some people like to drink after a long day. Sitting and watching a tv show or a game while sipping on something. Others will pour themselves a glass of wine while they prepare dinner or do work on the computer. I think your hormones are acting up. If you want to feel as if you are partaking there are TONS of moc-tails that you can make for yourself. Serve them in a champagne flute, add a cherry or a slice of lime. Make yourself something fizzy and enjoy it while he drinks his booze.
I totally get that which is
I totally get that which is why I have no problem with him having a couple but when there is nothing else in the house to drink beyond water because all his shopping consisted of food and alcohol its annoying to say the least. Like I said honestly have no problem with him have a couple of drinks it starts bothering me when it gets to 3 or 4.
I didn't care if my DH drank
I didn't care if my DH drank alcohol during my pregnancy.
The smell didnt bother you at
The smell didnt bother you at all?! I dunno how people do it I absalutely HATE getting near him when he smells and tasts like boose.
No, I didn't have problems
No, I didn't have problems like that.
DH drank when I was pregnant,
DH drank when I was pregnant, I was fine with it. Didn't bother me. In fact, we went on a trip and alcohol was part of the meal and I just gave my share to DH so he got double. He loved it!
I feel ya, lil_lady. I LOVE
I feel ya, lil_lady. I LOVE wine. If I were pregnant and could not have it, it would chap my ass to watch DH sip down a bottle with a smile on his lips. If we were out to dinner and he had A glass? Meh, not so much. But I get ya. It would bother me to, it seems inconsiderate to have more than an occasional drink when the other person can't.
At least he's drinking at
At least he's drinking at home and not leaving you at home to go to the bar with his buddies.
At least that's what I told myself for years when my xh was drinking...
So it is the smell rather
So it is the smell rather than him drinking. So tell him... Honey, the smell of alcohol turns my stomach right now... which means he will probably stick to vodka.
Look, you are pregnant. And seriously, having a drink or 2 a week will not harm your child. I would have a glass of wine or 2 a week when I was pregnant and my kids turned out just fine. The weird thing is in New Zealand they tell you to avoid deli meats because it can contain listeria which can kill the baby and you abort/ miscarriage. One woman in NZ lost twins at 36 weeks because of listeria. I never hear that here in the USA.
It seems you expect him to go without everything you choose to forgo. That is unfair. You are the one with the baby not him. So him sitting there drinking when you choose not to is somehow his fault? Because he will not experience the same labour pains you do does this make him unsymapthetic ... unless you rip off his arm and hit him over the head with it when the baby is crowning (the thought did cross my mind so don't laugh!)
If you feel you are missing out maybe tell him he owes you $5 per drink to be collected 6 weeks after delivery when you will go all out and spend up on ANYTHING you want. Massage/ Manicure/ New purse ... and if he drinks too much a round the world airfare!
It is partly the smell it
It is partly the smell it does not turn my stomach and it is not a pregnancy thing. I just think it is disgusted and 100% turns me completely off.
Your views on drinking are fine but not in the first early stages which I am... so no it is not an option right now. To be honest SO would prolly never speak to me again if he caught me drinking because trust me I have thought about it.
And that is a fantastic idea!
If you're so tempted to drink
If you're so tempted to drink while pregnant, and you seem really peeved since you can't and he can, maybe you should consider the possibility that you have a problem.
I didn't give two hoots if someone "was allowed" to drink while I was pregnant. It didn't affect me.
Im not tempted to drink I
Im not tempted to drink I mean I have thought about it as i have gotten further along there are some studies out there that say a beer/glass of wine at dinner is actually healthy. I just am not sure I want to go down that road there is still not a lot of research on it. I am just one of those people that does not agree with drinking while you are pregnant and still in my second trimester. Some of the studies have made me think about it because they play it off as healthy.
I guess I am mad because I just didnt think it was that much to ask. I have known lots of men who just did not drink while their wife/gf was pregnant. I see it as the respectful thing to do frankly the last thing I think a pregnant woman should have to deal with the the smell of boose and a possibly tipsy SO. I kind of get the impression with what everyone is saying maybe I am over reacting. I guess it bugs me because he led me to believe he wouldnt be drinking and now is. That and I HATE the smell of it. I dont expect him not to touch it but after he drinks 3 or 4 I can start to smell and taste it if I kiss him. It just sucks not wanting to be near someone when they are only home 50% of the time (he works out of town).
Then I'm confused as to
Then I'm confused as to what's bothering you.
Do you think he has a drinking problem? BTW, I think anyone who has 3-4 drinks per night has a drinking problem. Just sayin'