Stop paying. It is not your responsibility. There is no reason you should delay saving for retirement so that BM doesn't have to do without. Your DH and BM need to feel the consequences of his loss of a job, not you. Also if he gets in arrears on CS he may be able to pay a little back at a time.

If your DH isn't working, he needs to file to have his support adjusted. He should have done that as soon as he lost his job.

If it were me, I would tell him to go file, & I would keep it up the best I could. (I know some will say not to pay it, but it will only put him in arrears that will have to be paid later anyway, which affects your household finances.)

Let him know if he doesn't go file ASAP, you will not continue paying. There are things he can do to help your situation. It's his support. Certainly, you shouldn't be the only one trying to work it out.

I think that you should let BM know that you have been the one paying. Give her notice that you can not continue. Tell your DH to contact DCSE and let them know he lost his job. Contact the courts to get the amount reduced. Follow all the steps so that everyone is prepared.

Rather than jeopardize your own household finances I would allow DH's CS arrears to accrue and let BM experience similar financial strain to what your household is experiencing.

This is no different than a school loan that goes in to forebearance due to unemployment. Why give BM a financial get out of jail free card when your household is struggling?

When the Skid is in your household you provide for them. BM should do the same.

When DH goes back to work he can resume paying his CS and he can repay his arrears. As the Sparent your income should not be leveraged to support the blended family opposition household.

In our blended family life we were the CP household. My SS's SpermIdiot was obligated to very little CS ($110/mo for a year then $130/mo for 9 years)and he and SpermGrandMa repeatedly attempted to get my income factored in to the CS calculation in an attempt to get their CS reduced. In fact they succeeded even though Sparent income was exempted from CS. However, that rule has a caveat that if the CP household Sparent has a high income the NCP can be given an income credit so as to 'not be punished by contributing to an artificially elevated standard of living for the child'. Not a bit deal since even with the max credit of $1000/mo in income reduction for CS calculation purposes the SpermIdiot's CS was only lowered by $50/mo. After 9 years my DW did finally file for an amendment of CS and CS was raised from the $130/mo to $385. Both the $130/mo and $385/mo awards included the $50/mo CS reduction due to the income credit awarded to him due to my income. The NCP household Sparen's income can not be leveraged for increasing CS.

At least that his how it works in the People's Republic of Oregon where my SS's Custody/Visitaiton/Support Court Order was active.

I would really look into what the interest and penalty will be on his CS if he gets in arrears. Yes, it's his responsibility but in the end, it could most certainly affect you.

My husband was once in this position. He ended up getting a job just as he was on his last dollar from his savings account but I knew that I would pay his CS for him if it came to that. I also knew that he would insist on paying me back when he got a job.

It is a hard decision to make if it is causing you financial strain, which is why I say try to find out as much as you can about what it will actually cost for him to go in arrears. It can be very hard to get caught up and some states don't mess around.

A friend's husband had his retirement account raided by the state, without warning. He had been unemployed, got behind, got a job and was doing what he could to catch up but I guess they got tired of waiting. That interest just kept accruing and accruing and he could not keep up.

That's what will happen if your DH gets behind enough that he cannot pay all the arrears at once, it will just keep growing.

Can he apply for a CS modification? It might not make a difference but then again, it might. I would definitely check with CSE and find out if anything can be done.

Does BM know that YOU are paying the child support? There is something that really bothers me about any BM taking the SMs money for child support when the father is not working or unemployed for some reason. Maybe I am too proud but I would NEVER accept CS from my son's father's girlfriend, fiance, wife whatever. NEVER!

Whether I am in the role of BM or the role of SM (I play both) I just don't think it's right for anyone other than a kids parent to be responsible for paying CS.

if my dh became unemployed through no fault of his own, I would help very temporarily (firm time limit in place from the beginning) IF I could afford it (after providing for my retirement) without our home/family suffering, cause if MY family is suffering, so will bm's! I think you've done MORE than enough.

I would stop paying it immediately. DH needs to tell BM that he isn't working, and that you are the only breadwinner for the house right now, so child support will not resume until he starts working again. If it's the equivilant of a car payment, he can make it flipping burgers if he needs to .