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My sister the BM . . .

Jmom's picture

Submitted by Jmom on Thu, 11/14/2013 - 1:25pm

My sister is a BM . . .from HELL??? Maybe.

I just need to vent. My sister calls me this morning and we are discussing X-mas and the kids. .BS13 . .SD13 . . Neice6 (her kid) and the plan for the holidays since the kids are out of school. We usually take turns keeping an eye on them and my dad lives close so they hang out with PaPa too. DH never knows what's going on with SD13 . . he and BM can never get their crap together but I'm pretty sure SD will be with us the majority of the holidays. It's been that way for the past 3 years.

On to dear SIS. Apparently my sister has to work Christmas day (Wed) and the day after (thurs) (she works in a hospital). She's off Monday and Tuesday before Christmas. This is her year to have my neice on Christmas. Her ex has my neice the weekend before so the weekend after X-mas is my sister's regular weekend. After my neice's dad drops her off the Sunday before X-mas he won't see her again at all until the Sunday (a week after X-mas).

My sister was full of glee. I usually try to stay out of these matters but this was wrong. My neice loves her dad . . .his girlfriend had a baby this summer and my neice loves the girlfriend and the baby. SHe has a loving relationship with all of them and I know they want to at least see my neice X-mas. So I say to my sister well you are going to be at work anyway so why not just let neice spend X-mas day with her dad. I'll be more than happy to take her over there and pick her up later. My sister flips. WHY ARE YOU ON HIS SIDE! HE WOULD NEVER DO THIS FOR ME!

Here's the kicker . . .I'm the babysitter. Chick I don't want to babysit your kid when she could be spending time with her DAD! Funny thing is my neice's dad will not even ask because my sister is the BM from hell. He's slipped up a couple of times with child support (when the baby came times got hard) my sister went and had his wages garnished. . .problem solved. I'm not saying the guy doesn't have faults but he loves his daughter and they want to spend time with her too. I guess I just don't understand why my sister is being a bitch. My BS13 has been ignored his entire life by my ex husband because he didn't want to pay $80 a week in child support. Dude couldn't hold down a job to save his life and didn't care! Here's a guy who's trying to do the right thing and you can't even get over yourself and think about how your daughter feels. I'm just disgusted!

Comments

just.his.wife's picture

Submitted by just.his.wife on Thu, 11/14/2013 - 1:33pm

Personally, I'd agree to watch the kid.

Then call her dad and tell him that you think its BS and you want to give him and his daughter a present for Christmas.

Convince him to wear a red bow on his head. Carrying a note from 'santa' that as a special christmas present she gets to spent time with her daddy.

Then have neice answer the door. And watch the christmas happiness.

Have dad drop her back to you an hour or so before sis gets off work.

If sis gets her knickers in a twist over it, she can find a new sitter.

IslandGal's picture

Submitted by IslandGal on Thu, 11/14/2013 - 8:32pm

This is an AWESOME IDEA!! Pleae, please do it - let us know how it went if you did!

askYOURdad's picture

Submitted by askYOURdad on Thu, 11/14/2013 - 1:35pm

As a BM I always vowed to love my kids more than I hate my ex.

I cannot see not letting them spend time on xmas with their dad, ESPECIALLY if I were working!

Jmom's picture

Submitted by Jmom on Thu, 11/14/2013 - 1:38pm

I know right! I mean I love my neice and I spend a lot of time with her but it was like my sister was putting us (my immediate family) over the kid's dad. I just didn't get it. It was like well I'd rather have her spend X-mas with y'all than him and her. It's just nuts and I lost some respect for my sister this morning.

Jmom's picture

Submitted by Jmom on Thu, 11/14/2013 - 1:47pm

I also would like to add that his girlfriend is a godsend. She truly loves my neice and my neice loves her. SHe calls her Auntie girlfriend and girlfriend is ok with that. She takes care of my neice when it's really not even her responsibility. When she had the baby I went out and got her a big baby gift to not only say congratulations but thank you for taking such good care of my neice. My neice had talked the entire week about the party they were having for the baby to come and how she didn't have a gift. She was 5 years old people! She had the biggest gift there after I finished. My sister flipped then and didn't speak to me for two weeks. I didn't care . .it was the right thing to do.

floridianmama's picture

Submitted by floridianmama on Thu, 11/14/2013 - 4:14pm

Poor kid. I feel sorry for your niece, your sis IS a BM from hell. If it were my niece I would take her to her dads damn the consequences.

Just a thought doesn't he have the right of first refusal if she has to work. MANY states have that in thier court orders. If she can't be with her DD legally she should have to offer him to keep her before she can find a babysitter. Just a thought, maybe you can give him a heads up on the DL and he can have it taken care of through the court with time to spare.

Jmom's picture

Submitted by Jmom on Fri, 11/15/2013 - 9:17am

He does but her plan is to not let on to him that she's actually working . . .he lives about an hour away. Sad