Totally O/T: When an adult is not an adult
Ok, so my brother is living with the mother of his kids (they divorced but got back together). I am married and have two kids. My sister has two kids, is not married, lives with my parents. Thanksgiving will be at my parents' house.
Every year my mom assigns us food to bring to help out with the meal. So I got three food items this year, am preparing and will gladly bring them. Didn't ask what was assigned to my siblings, it is not my business. My parents purchased the turkey. But my mom is talking to me the other day and explains that my brother may be coming alone because ex-SIL and two nieces may be going to ex-SIL's parents' house for Thanksgiving. OK, fine, that's their prerogative.
Then my mother says, so, we won't have some dish everybody likes because SIL normally brings that. My mom asks me if I can provide that dish as well. I say I can, but I'm wondering, why can't my brother provide it? He's still coming, why can't he bring it? I'm just confused, but I guess I shouldn't be, my mother has always favored my brother.
But come on, he's an adult, surely he can cough up for one side dish for Thanksgiving. Just because ex-SIL isn't coming, why shouldn't he still contribute? Am I missing something here?
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Sounds like our house. My
Sounds like our house. My brother never has to bring anything. When he was single, my mom let him slide because he was a single man (yeah, I know). When he was married to his first wife, they would "forget" to bring their assigned dish, so she just stopped asking him to bring anything. He's been married to his 2nd wife for 5 years now and has a 4 year old. My SIL is always "too busy" to make anything (she does not work outside of the home and has 1 child) but they usually will bring flowers or ONE bottle of wine, or my brother's precious micro brew beer he has to have. I was asked to bring 3 things this year, him, a bottle of wine. Really, mom?
Did I also mention he's the oldest?
Bring it up with your mom. You are not missing anything. Unfortunately, my mom is "old school" and the boys are not expected to be domestic (him or my dad never help with clearing the table or dishes either).
I tried to bring it up, and
I tried to bring it up, and she said if I wasn't going to get the stuff for this dish she would just do it herself. So the implication is that if I don't spend the money, they will have to, and they are both retired, hence on a fixed income. Grrr... My brother is also the oldest, between him and ex-SIL they have more household income than DH and I do. My mom is definitely old school (I as the oldest girl bear the brunt of the cooking and cleaning up duty while my brother watches football with my dad).
Gender role? If food needs to
Gender role? If food needs to be prepared, the expectation is that the women will do it?
This my friends is my baby
This my friends is my baby sister! I'm doing Thanksgiving at my house with DH, SD13 (who got dumped with us for a week after BM bragged about all of their exciting plans . . this is another post), BS13, my dad, my stepmom and baby sis (31) and neice (baby sis daughter 6). I'm cooking everything . .. dad and stepmom are doing the turkey. I called baby sis last night and asked her if she could bring the rolls and do the sweet tea. She starts crying about how she doesn't have any money and in true BM fashion she says "I'm a single parent"! Once she calms down she braggs about how she's off from work and taking herself to the movies. I guess I'll pick up the rolls. GEEZ!
Heaven forbid you should ask
Heaven forbid you should ask a SINGLE MOTHER to do anything, motherly!
Even better, not only did
Even better, not only did brother not bring a single damn thing to Thanksgiving dinner, he showed up late. We started without him, my mom bought the ingredients to make the dish he was "supposed" to contribute and I prepared it (because mom asked me to). Grrr