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Step related and a perfect love story

grow-a-nut's picture

SO I vowed to never date another man with kids and have really stuck to it. I work as a cashier in a convenience store and for some reason men seem to think that I want to date them if I am nice to them. So I get a lot of phone numbers. I always throw them away as soon as they leave. I NEVER give my number out.

On the Sunday before New Year's the most beautiful man I have ever laid eyes on walked in the door. He was my only customer and we struck up a conversation. He said he hadn't seen me in there so assumed I was new. (7 months at the job now) As we were talking I shared that I was celebrating because I had been split from my previous bad marriage for one year soon. He said he was too. We discovered that our leave dates were one day apart.

He had 3 stepchildren who were awful like many I read about here. The wife wouldn't work and neither did the GROWN kids. He would work all day and come home to have to cook, clean and suffer disrespect daily. Much to his mother's dismay he has no children of his own.

Our birthdays are 3 days apart almost exactly. I am the older woman for him. Lol

Ladies, I kept his phone number. I didn't want to but I wanted, no NEEDED to know this man.

I drank my courage and texted him in the middle of the night to say that I enjoyed meeting him. He texted back in the morning Good morning Sunshine. Can I see you again?

We texted and called all that day and he picked me up in the evening. We went to a local diner and played pool and drank a few beers.

The date was GLORIOUS!! We finished each others sentences. We connected on a level I have never felt with anyone. Our lives mirrored each others. The pain. The betrayal. All of it.

We couldn't get enough of one another so the date didn't end until Wednesday.

It's stupid and reckless but I think I love him from the very first time I spoke to him. I am certain he feels the same way.

I am a wreck. I am used to being bitter and angry with men. I hated them all. I'm changing my mind. And it's too good to be true but I feel it in my soul. I never believed in love at first sight much less any kind of love. And now I am a blithering idiot who couldn't form a thought if my life depended on it.

Life can and DOES get better when you wait to what you deserve and who deserves you. I found my soul mate.

Comments

furkidsforme's picture

Careful..... you are giving too much too soon. Don't hand yourself over on a platter to some who you *think* is worth it. Make him show you. He won't lose interest or disrespect you, and if he does, well then he wasn't what you thought, was he?

Just remember- SOMEONE out there is glad this dude is gone, so ease up on the hearts and butterflies and use your head a little.

grow-a-nut's picture

I know it sounds stupid. I can't rationalize it at all.

WE DID NOT HAVE SEX! We spent the 2 days talking and enjoying one another's company. We covered a lot of ground in conversation.

furkidsforme's picture

Put your head on straight, though!!!

You DON'T KNOW THIS GUY. AT ALL.

Sure, he SAYS all the "right" things, but come on...

You meet some dude at a convenience store, get his number, text him in the middle of the night (are you 12?), go on a date to what sounded to me like a honky-tonk dive bar, and then spent two days with him.

Real classy. I bet he's really thinking you're the kind of girl he can really... respect. Yeah.

ltman's picture

Be careful, run a background check or at least Google him. You can do that and not tell him. Don't discount red flags.

Enjoy the discovery of him.

grow-a-nut's picture

Already on it. I have a friend who is a PI and the guy checks out with everything he has told me.

omgsaveme's picture

Hey it can happen my DH and I fell in love 2 weeks after being with each other. Yes everyone has flaws, we moved really fast and it took a LOT of work to get our relationship to what it is now. But like others have said, date for a while and don't move too fast. People always put their best foot forward in the beginning, you don't know this guys skeletons.

Ive seen stories where guys were murderers, conman, thieves, rapists and all these women had no idea and he was the greatest guy. Don't believe me, turn on ID lol. Its great you feel this way, and Im rooting for you but slow it down and really get to know this guy.

Rags's picture

In through the nose, out through the mouth. Deep breaths. These intense connection relationships are heady stuff in the early phases. Be cautious and take it one step at a time.

I get it, I do. This is how my DW of 19+ and years and I were when we first met and in many ways still are. Our first date has lasted 19+ years. At the time it lasted a week before we each went back to our own homes to catch our breaths. Like your first date, ours was platonic.

If this is to be THE one for you it will last through a more extended get to know each other process.

My DW and I married 9mos after we met and started dating. Not an extended period but not a Kardashian get married in a week thing either. We are renewing our vows next summer on our 20th anniversary. We eloped the first time and my FIL has never walked either of his daughters down the isle and no one from my DWs nuclear family attended our first wedding. My 20th aniversary gift to DW is a nice wedding in her home town with all of her family and home town friends.

If this is THE one it will work. Particularly if you keep your head in the game and take care of yourself as things develop. That neither of you have children is definately a chick in the positive column in the relationship box.

IMHO of course.

Have fun and congratulations.

Nette5's picture

My friend asked me recently: when did you know your relationship would last?
My answer: after we had gone through some trials & knew we'd be stronger together than we were apart.
This March marks 14 years together & June is our 12th anniversary. Trust me when I say we have been through hell & back together, & we've gotten stronger together through each trial.

Tuff Noogies's picture

aww rags that's beautiful!!!!!

G-a-N - be careful hun. but enjoy every glorious moment!

dh and i met at a mutual friend's for a holiday barbeque. it was instant and intense.

the next day his friend was having his holiday bbq and dh invited me. we met up at a public place, then he drove me to the bbq. aftewards, he took me back to my car. we sat in the car and talked all night long, until well after sunup and it was time to get ready for work.

i was truly happy and content being single. and in absolutely NO mood to play games. that night i asked him straight out "what are your intentions?" he said "i'll show you." -> the next weekend i met skids and IL's. and five months later we were married. we met almost six years ago, it was a total amazingly wonderful whirlwind.

those things are rare. enjoy every bit, but still KEEP YOUR HEAD ON STRAIGHT.

ps- diner food, then beer and pool sounds fantastic to me!!!

grow-a-nut's picture

I heart this story!!

And about the diner?? I was told somewhere in this thread that I'm not classy because we went to a diner. I love that place!! The service and the food are awesome. The music is great and the atmosphere is very relaxed. If it makes me not classy to chose to have a date there then so be it.

Azure's picture

Beautiful!
As Rags said - it's heady stuff right now. I've been there. I married my DH after only 7 months and wish I had not. It's 7 years later.

Slow down just a tad....take time to meet his friends and family....you can learn a lot about a person through friends and family. And backgroud checks LOL

I hope it works out for you - it's so great that you're happy!!!

grow-a-nut's picture

I'm not marrying the guy tomorrow. We just connect on so many levels. I ran an intense background check. No murders, rape or anything questionable. everything he told me pans out.

I'm not an idiot. And certainly not 12. I text all the time.

I found a man who told me truthful stories, has no kids, whose life has mirrored mine. WTH is wrong with meeting someone you can get a long with?

Tuff Noogies's picture

enjoy it!!! stay smart, but enjoy it. you know "it" when you know it. and sometimes that happens sooner than for others. Smile

grow-a-nut's picture

Thank you. I am very level headed and this all has caught me by surprise. I have struggled with my feelings for the past 2 weeks. I know it's not rational but isn't possible that love at first sight possible? I never thought so... Until now.

grow-a-nut's picture

Lol Draco. I have a hard time being not truthful. Often times men will ask if I am going to call. I tell them probably not.

Drac0's picture

Well it is nice to hear that you are actually pleasant with customers. Most of the young girls at the grocery store that I shop at act like I am about to hop over the counter and hump them. I know they are just trying to do their jobs, and I am not looking for them to smile and flirt with me or anything, but I would much rather be served by someone who is pleasant rather than someone who acts in fear of their life. The most ferocious thing I've done to a cashier is ask "Do you guys sell batteries?".

Reading your post sorta reminds me of how I met DW, although our situation was much more comfortable than two strangers who don't know each other from Adam. The day I met DW I had sworn myself off women completely. Too many failed dates had made me resolved to become the "Crazy old guy with a snake" (Friends episode). A friend invited me over to a BBQ. I was actually contemplating not going because I wasn't in the mood, but I fiured a little social interaction might do me some good before I go to the pet store to go shopping for a pet snake. I walk in my friends place with a case of beer. He instructs me to put my beers in a cooler he has out back. So I go out the back and there she was - my future wife to be - I was intantly smitten.

You sound smitten too so I hope it works out for you!

grow-a-nut's picture

I love my customers. Without them I have no job. I treat them all as friends and they claim I am their favorite cashier in town. Smile

grow-a-nut's picture

I keep trying to find a reason to make him go away. I can't. Everything checks out.

simifan's picture

Congrats to you! I knew DH was my soulmate very quickly too. We were engaged at 9 mo & married 6 mo after that. We've been together 15 years.

Lady Danger's picture

Hello!!?? Can we get an update?? I am always curious to know how things pan out when you leave step-hell Smile