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Ever feel bad/defensive for Bm?

Missmozzer's picture

I know for some of you that will be a resounding HELL NO, lol. Our Bm is decent... She was awful at first and then apologized and we have been on good terms ever since. We aren't close, but do send the occasional text from time to time. Well she got engaged to a guy, introduced him to sd, he basically "swept her off her feet" they were going to get a house and such. Well dude joins the military and goes off to training and breaks up with her through text. Says he wanted to take a break and then never talked to her again. It really bothered me. I don't know why but it burned me up that he did that to her and sd. Strange. I never thought I would feel like that over dh's ex?! Anyone else have this strange phenomena? I just felt genuinely bad for her. Like to the point of shedding a tear. Weirdness...

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WifeVersion2.0's picture

I briefly felt bad for BM when she started crying in court when she realized she had "lost" as the judge was awarding DH primary custody of SD. She wasn't an unfit mother, hadn't really done anything 'wrong' to lose custody, SD just wanted to live with us because it's a calmer, more routine environment.

Fortunately, it didn't last long as BM was a royal witch to her own daughter for the first 6 months after SD moved here and I no longer felt sorry for BM.

farting_glitter's picture

nope never feel bad for the BM of Princess Boy....but I do at times take up for SOME BM's on here only because I think some of the SM's on here are just as bat shit crazy.... }:)

CompletelyPuzzled's picture

I actually defended BM several times with DF when we first got together. I don't think she is a horrible mother, but she has made some bad choices. However, over the past few months, she has really shown her true colors. So its harder for me to feel sorry for her.

StepMomTaxi's picture

BM used to really like me. I knew she had mental stability issues from the start, but thought her and I getting along would be a positive for the SKs.

She liked me for a few years until DH took her to court to get some minor things changed in their CO. Suddenly she tried to play it off as though DH was trying to take her kids away from her and attributed it to being my fault.

When I see her currently at times she is very nice and chatty to my face....then proceeds to rant about what a B** I am to anyone who will listen and even sends DH texts complaining about me, taking shots at me, and calling me names.

After everything I have seen her do, lies I have heard her say (even when there's been proof in writing she is full of it), I will never have any ounce of compassion or sorrow for this woman.

There have been some arguments between her and DH where I have defended her a little or at least tried to explain to DH where she may be coming from or explain to DH how such a response would be taken by her that may sound bad or be uneccessary. But those days are done now. After things she has blamed me for, that had nothing to do with me, and said about me.... she can go F herself.

LuckyGirl's picture

Yes, sometimes I do. More for the situation than the person, in a way: it makes me sad that a human being can be in their forties and so immature, what a waste of a life lived. However, I am aware that it is on a par with being sorry for an angry wasp drowning in a pool - if you are inclined to help it out of its predicament, be sure you are not in the stinging area when you do...

Dolphin's picture

Nope! I can't stand BM! When we were struggling financially she did everything possible to be a complete bitch. Now that we are doing good and she is struggling she constantly trying to guilt trip FDH to help her out. She is manipulative and crazy! One day she want to co parent and be decent the next day (nothing changing but her mood) she swears she can't talk to him. All the struggles she's having now are karma for all the negativity that she spewed in the air a few years ago! I hope she gets all she owed }:)

JustAgirl42's picture

Yes, because she is sooooooo dumb!

Actually I do feel bad for her sometimes because I don't think she's 'wired' correctly in her head.

After ten years, she's still filled with so much hatred. Over what? I don't even know. :?

mystifying_mint's picture

Bm1 isnt so bad. A little dingy. I feel sorry for her in a small way bc df wants to take her for cs. She struggles getting by as is.

Bm2- that slut can rot in hell. she has this false sense of entitlement. she wont address issues with df face to face but instead will post on fb, lies about every situation to make df look bad. Will call- not even call-text his mother telling her she wont let him get the kids. She is very two face. She talks bad about all her so called friends. Talks bad about me because of my job. Funny thing is Blum 3 she works at the same place I did.

Anon2009's picture

I do, but my religious beliefs have helped me. I decided I had to forgive bm for me. Hating her was too unhealthy for me. Like Dr. Phil says, being locked in such hate with someone changes who we are for the worse. For me, it was time to hand bm over to God.

I do think she has real problems and hope and pray that she finds the help she needs.

Pilgrim Soul's picture

I was very touched by your post, Missmozzer. It shows you are a kind, empathetic person. You are able to put yourself in other people's shoes and feel bad for them. You do not gloat, or enjoy the misfortunes of others. Good for you! Your DH is very lucky he married you.

It helps that the BM is a decent person too.

The BM is my life is like a mini - Hitler and the skids are like Hitler-youth.
I am trying to feel some sympathy for them, but they are all just too emotionally abusive.

Missmozzer's picture

Thanks pilgrim! I def. have my flaws but I feel like I try to do the right thing... I think having a child of my own has made me more sensitive. Lol. I totally get where these posters are coming from, and everyone's situation is unique. I do truly hope
Bm finds happiness and stability.

SituationalTourettes's picture

You're very fortunate to have that kind of woman as your step child's mother. Guy sounds like a total ass.

HungryEyes's picture

I'll admit that I do. DH and BM have a sick daughter *skid4* and so I feel bad for both of them but BM bears almost all of the responsibility for her healthcare and I feel bad for her. She's really good at it and works really hard. I respect that about her.

She's also gotten herself married to a man that is a narcissistic sociopath and I know BM is pretty close to the same. So I feel for her. she's in for a long haul with that situation.

I spent too much of my time hating on BM. And yeah she was a psycho when DH and I first got together. She hated us and wanted us to disappear forever. Super Jealous and Crazy. But after reading about a lot of your BM's - mine isn't Hell on Earth like some of yours. She has her moments, certainly, but she's leaving us alone and maybe that's why I feel the need to defend her. IT could all change tomorrow.