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O/T valentines day

Missmozzer's picture

So I was watching the Simpsons... And I heard someone say something very profound. (Lol I know it's the Simpsons). It was a valentines episode and they said something along the lines of "are you getting me something because you love me? Or because you fear me?" This made me remember last year when dh didn't get me anything last year and I got pissed. He shows me he loves me in other ways, so I just decided to get over stuff like that. He is just clueless about getting gifts. I wondered if he would pick something up this year because he's afraid of me being angry. Lol. I mean half my brain says "really he can't pick something up? Flowers,even a card?!" The other half is saying it's not that big of a deal and is over commercialized etc... I was just curious how everyone else feels about this. What do you think guys? Vday overrated and not a big deal? Or celebrate and it's the thought that counts?

Comments

zerostepdrama's picture

I dont really think it's that big of a deal.

DH asked what I wanted this year and I said nothing. And he was like nooooo tell me what you want. And I am like okay there is this Coach crossbody purse that I would really like. And then he is all like no that is too expensive.

Okay well that is the only thing that I really really want. He was like how about flowers or chocolate? No thanks. It's nice but I'd rather he not spend the money. I dont NEED flowers or chocolate. A nice card.

For me, SO does nice things for me throughout the year. So I guess I dont feel like he needs to go all out on V-day.

My BS is with his dad that weekend, so I was thinking of doing something special. But if my BS wasn't gone that weekend then we probably wouldnt make that big of deal about it.

sunny_skies's picture

last year FDH didn't get me anything for valentines day. (I got him a small bag of heart shaped candy, but when he didn't give me anything I just kept them and didn't give them to him lol) ..the next day I went out and bought a big bunch of flowers, and put them right on the table in the middle of the house, couldn't miss them. when he came home from work, he was like "oh wow, where did the flowers come from!" I said "well I was kinda sad that you didn't get me flowers for valentines day yesterday, so I thought I'd treat myself"

..ever since then, he has brought me flowers pretty much every few weeks, just coz he (now) knows how much it means to me. I think the shock of me fulfilling my own *need* (not an actual "I need flowers to survive" lol! but you know what I mean!) was enough to make him feel bad and that is what I needed to feel special.

(I've got to admit I was nervous to buy them and say that to him, I almost felt a bit petty.. but I'm well aware that FDH needs shock tactics to actually acknowledge stuff haha! men are stupid, you've got to spell out what you would like to happen, and my way of letting FDH know what I'd like, is getting it myself, and making him realise that's what he should've done in the first place!) Wink

hereiam's picture

It is overrated but it's a good excuse to go out to dinner. Valentines Day is in the middle of our birthdays (mine is 2/2 and his is 3/3) so it gets to be a little much!

Missmozzer's picture

Bwahahaha. I am a chocolate lover.... I guess for him to fear me it would depend on that time of the month! Lol

simifan's picture

I don't really care what I get but I would be livid to not get anything. To me that says - i couldn't care less about how you feel & you're just not that important.

Missmozzer's picture

I do like knowing there's one day of the year we go out to dinner. For me it was kind of the thought that counts... He could do something that didn't have monetary value... But that's not really dh! Lol. It did hurt my feelings last year, but I had to step back and think if getting super angry or breaking up over a .99 card or some candy was really worth it. Lol... But I do get the part about feeling like he doesn't care enough to do SOMETHING

Missmozzer's picture

Lol... Yeah she'll have a masterpiece and his will be a stuck figure with a sunshine in the corner. Ha ha