Clingy SS17
SS is now 17, still as clingy as ever to his dad. I've been watching the two of them in the kitchen while SO makes dinner. SS17 acts like he's on one of those child leashes connected to his dad.
I'm sitting at the kitchen table, and decided to time how long SS can stay at least three feet away from his dad before he has to start clinging again. At times he maxes out at a minute, other times, he can hold out for 20 seconds before he has to be right on top of his dad.
The only time SS moves away into the living room is when his dad is standing near me.
It's definitely an odd picture, since SS now towers over his dad.
Biting my tongue so as not to smart off, so tempting, but know my comments will not be well received. SO keeps asking me what I'm thinking, I just reply, just thinking..... }:)
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The more insecure they are,
The more insecure they are, the more they cling. If it really truly drives you crazy, and you want it to stop, mention to your husband that his son needs some verbal reassurance that he is loved and important. If your husband were to tackle it head on, I bet you his son would back off a little bit - SS probably doesn't even realize how physically close he is to his dad anyway LOL
SS is about as insecure as
SS is about as insecure as they come. I've told SO numerous times to just be upfront and honest with SS. Doesn't come naturally to SO, though. SS has come to live with us full time after living with BM full time for many years. SO is kind of new to being a full time parent. He's just trying to keep the kid from flunking out of school.
SS apparently lied to SO about not doing his homework, and so SS is on a sort of probation, meaning no X Box, meaning daddy becomes his X Box substitute. SS get's clingy when he's bored and doesn't have his X box pacifier to suck on.
And SO and I have been round and round on the issue of his son, I was even foolish enough to suggest SS get professional help a long time ago. I've made it very clear where I stand. Things have improved a little bit, all because I have put my foot down. Now SO will order his son to spend the night at a friend's house every now and then, just to give me a break. Otherwise, SS would never, and I mean never leave the house, socialize, or do anything other than play X box by himself all weekend long. It's sad, but if it were not for me griping about the boy being in the house all the time, that boy would not get any social interaction other than what he gets with his dad. So I actually think my 'enlightened' selfishness has benefitted this kid a little.
I'm starting to think the military is the best thing for SS after he graduates. I think the military transformed SO into who he is today. SS is just going to flunk out his first year of college, he has little motivation or self-discipline.
I think you are probably the
I think you are probably the only person in this kid's life that has given him even a small dose of reality. sounds like electronics has been the babysitter of choice while he was growing up. at least you won't have to worry about him getting a teenage girl pregnant or running around getting into trouble and having to fight your dh about bailing him out.
Cocoa, amen to that. Won't
Cocoa, amen to that. Won't have to worry about any surprise grandbabies. He blew it with a potential girlfriend when he texted her "I love you." before they even went out on date. She told him they needed to take a break. He thinks texting equates to dating. Oh and I think I may have mentioned he can't drive. I told his dad, girls like guys who can drive.
I would much rather deal with
I would much rather deal with any 17 year old boy who showed interest in hanging out with their parent. Sure it might seem clingy. It might seem weird. Considering the problems that boys this age get into and the trouble they can create in the family life when they hang out with the wrong friends, I would just say be happy he is still up dad's behind . It means dad still has a position of influence.
I agree, it certainly could
I agree, it certainly could be worse. SS is the type of kid who wants to not only be influenced by his dad, but wants to be his dad. SS worships the ground his dad walks on, and not in a healthy way. SS is the type that would join a cult. I think it's because he has no personality of his own, so he tries to adopt his dad's personality, unsuccessfully. Dad is a social butterfly, humorous and handsome and sometimes charming. SS is beyond awkward, even for an awkward teenage boy. SS has no charm, personality, or anything, he tries to make jokes like his dad, but he's so not funny. SS is really no fun at all to be around. I call him the libido killer.
Left to his own devices SS would lie around the house in his dirty bathrobe, playing xbox 13 hours a day, essentially looking like a commercial for anti-depressants.
I think if SO didn't love his son so much, he'd feel the same way I do, but SS is the one kid left that hasn't been PAS'd and become estranged. And I'm more than happy to give them time and space together.
He's extra clingy today because he got his pacifier, er, I mean his Xbox taken away for lying to dad. So he' bored, lonely, and jonesin' for a dad fix tonight.
Left to his own devices SS
Left to his own devices SS would lie around the house in his dirty bathrobe, playing xbox 13 hours a day, essentially looking like a commercial for anti-depressants.
OMG, that sounds like my husband if I go away for the weekend!
Aswang, Too funny!
Aswang, Too funny!