O/T And he gets a public intoxication ticket
My DH is a lovely person. He has such a sweet nature but unfortunately his demons are bigger. The thing is I personally think his demons are of his own creation. He is just copying the crazy ass ways of his father.
He hasn't been drinking, until last night. But he did get his meds refilled and decided to "self medicate" with a strong anti-anxiety prescription. It was apparent to me immediately that he was high or drunk.
He hasn't officially came home yet but he has been to the house a lot to talk. As soon as I could tell something was up I told him to leave. I told him I would not have that behavior in my house around my son. He left right after telling me that he hates me.
He goes, buys beer, and sits in the K-mart parking lot to drink. Keep in mind he's already half out of his mind from the meds. Someone saw his erratic driving into the parking lot and called his plate number in. Luckily the keys weren't in the ignition or he would be in jail right now. Where I would let him sit if that was the case.
He got a ticket, his dad picked him up and took him back to his house. But here's the kicker!!! Are you ready for it???? His dad accused me of calling his plate in to the police. I didn't even know where he was. His dad is a motherfucking crazy ass so those two can rot in misery together. That's my attitude today!
Idiot! And at this point I don't even give two shits if BM finds out. Which she will. I live in a small area where everyone knows everyone. It's only a matter of time.
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Luckymomme: He's not living
Luckymomme: He's not living with me. He has been around to talk and I'm trying to keep him motivated. I can't have that behavior in my house. His dad's is NOT the best place for him but it's the only other option. Regardless of the fact that I know he would probably stay clean better if he was home with me I won't subject my son to any more of his crazy behavior. I am going to suggest to him today that maybe he should check into going to a halfway house.
And yes, it hurts to see him hurt himself. But he has to save himself. I can't do it for him.
I'm so proud of you for doing
I'm so proud of you for doing the right thing by your son! This situation cannot be easy and you are one strong bad-ass bitch! (in a good way
)
Addiction is, unfortunately, something that I grew up around. I cannot tell you what an incredible thing you are doing by keeping your son away from it. I know a woman's nature is to fix everything, you are doing great to not fall into that at the expense of your son's wellbeing!
Thank you!
Thank you!
Trust me that I have said to
Trust me that I have said to DH that his bullshit will never jeopardize me having my son. If my ex even so much as hinted that he was concerned and wanted our son to live with him that would be it. DH no more. BS15 has a good dad but just that. The man does the bare minimum. I am the supporter of my kids. They know I will be fair and not go apeshit crazy on them for something they do wrong but give a punishment that is fair. I'm the one they come to with problems or to talk about their feelings or dreams, etc. I will not let anyone take that away from me.
By stating "he would have a
By stating "he would have a better chance staying clean" if he was at my house I meant that I would provide the surroundings to not give him the opportunity to get jacked up without him having to go outside the house to do it. No alcohol in my house and the hardest drug is Tylenol. I threw any potential meds away before he came home from rehab and I had some heavy stuff left over from my son's heart surgery this past summer.
His dad is the person that taught him all of his lovely habits. FIL is an alcoholic and abuser of prescription meds. And crazy on top of that and you have a really screwed up household.
And yes, I agree completely that he has to WANT this for himself. The only person that can do it for him is HIM.
Ditto to Ask. Harley, I'm an
Ditto to Ask. Harley, I'm an alcoholic as well, luckily I didn't have a "rock bottom" since my parents/brother/practically everyone in my family are drunks and I got sober before I lost everything, knowing what was happening to me. I wish I could take back every time DD14 saw me drunk. Oh how I wish that. You are so right in keeping your son away from this toxicity. Know this: absolutely NOTHING you say or do will affect him getting sober. Nothing. He has to come to that point on his own. And living with an enabler like his dad, that time isn't coming soon. Accusing you of reporting the license is an avoidance tactic, you know that right? Drunks and their enablers are expert finger pointers. Stay calm and serene and above the mess. God bless.
FIL wants to keep DH with
FIL wants to keep DH with him. He begged DH not to go to my house last night to talk. He wants DH to stay with him because he is lonely and wants a commrade in his own misery. FIL and DH's grandmother are the worst enablers in the world. I know FIL is pointing fingers because he doesn't care for DH. He just wants DH with him for his own selfish reasons. FIL hasn't done one single thing throughout all of this to help his son. Not one thing.
Your FIL is like my mom. He
Your FIL is like my mom. He doesn't want a son, he wants a drinking buddy. When my first was born, Perfectson24, everyone was oohing and ahhing over the baby as people do, my brother was counting down the years until he could drink with him. A baby. :O
Yep. They have been drinking
Yep. They have been drinking buddies, prescription med buddies for years. And until I came along there wasn't any sensoring of the behavior in front of SS8. It's no wonder he is as messed up as he is at his age between BM and DH. It's shameful.
So the fuck what if you DID
So the fuck what if you DID call in his plate??? I should think his father would be THANKING you or whoever did call it in, BEFORE youd DH drove and killed himself or worse yet, someone else. Geesh! And is your DH's dad a Disney Dad much???? Holy crap, his son is apparently spiraling out of control, but let's blame Harley because obviously you FORCED him to take the meds and drink beers and then drive around town.
I agree. He's the adult.
I agree. He's the adult. Act like one instead of copying your dad's bullshit. And, showing my ignorance, what's an AODA program?
He spent the week before
He spent the week before Christmas in detox and the month of January in rehab on my insurance. He knows what he needs to do. He claims his anxiety gets the best of him and then he plummets. To quote my BS15, "Man up!"