He doesn't have consoles or stuff like that in his room, it's books. His bedtime is anywhere from 930 to 1030, but then it's getting ready for bed, readying a book with Dad, and then He lets him stay up and read. He has a tendency to go downstairs after and continue lunches for hte next day or something and it usually is up to me to go in (when I'm fed up) at like 11 and be like, 'k, wrap it up.' Sometimes, rarely, he passes out on his own quickly, but most of the time he's up past 11.
I'm glad the kid's reading and all...but really....
I agree. In theory, his bedtime is around the same time every night. Guess it turned out last night he was freaking out cause he didn't know where his tooth that he lost yesterday was, and was afraid to miss the Tooth Fairy.
But a lot of it is on my SO too...
He won't go check in to make sure he's asleep, or that he's wrapping up the book he's reading at a decent time--last night SS10 I guess went down to tell Him and He said He'd be right up cause the tooth was still in his pocket from when it fell out and was cleaned. But then it took Him a while to come up.
There are times when I wish I could have kids (He's had a vasectomy) but part of me thinks that having kids together, might break us apart. He became a dad really young (20) and it feels sometimes like he would prefer to not have kids at all. Or like he's too young still to deal with them---like playing on XBox for hours after he puts SS10 to bed, and doesn't check to make sure kid is sleeping.
Yes this frustrates me to hell, but one thing at a time.
No need for apology. I agree, I recently told SO that he needs to be putting SS10 to bed earlier, because he should be sleeping by 930, not just going to get changed into pj's, then teeth, then bedtime story, then reading on his own for hours, at 930. I expressed my frustration and he said he would work to make me less frustrated.
Feeling your frustration. SD(then10ish) ran around the darkened house at 11 once because she didn't WANT to go to bed when my 2 DS(then 7/9) were trying to fall asleep (my DDthen14 was at a friends), screaming, hollering and hoping disney daddy would chase her. Hell on earth is having a f'd up skid who comes with a f'd up BM. I said, "Stop chasing her and ignore her." Once again, yes, here it comes, I was told I was "cruel." I just might have to change my name to Cruella de-Ville.
Lots of things about stepping is sucky. sue2e's posts annoy me sometimes, but still some things to learn from everyone. She has a good post on her blog about "Stepmonster" Check it out.
Thank you. Once I heard that term I looked it up and found it was a book. I think I will be looking up other potentially helpful books (I see Divorce Poison mentioned too) and will likely be stopping at the local Chapters today.
This issue used to drive me up the wall when my skids were still young enough to be staying over. It seemed like the simplest thing in the world to me to set a bedtime and stick to it, but apparently not.
DH was hopeless at routine, he didn't want to be the bad guy bedtime enforcer, he didn't think it mattered if they went to bed a bit late, he clung onto the extra time with them. Meanwhile the older children got very little time and attention from DH because the young ones were allowed to stay up so late. He would let the teens start family movies at gone 8 so they didn't finish until after 10 and then not even rush to get the youngest into bed when it finished. I didn't even have my own children but it just seemed wrong to me. I would sit there simmering with frustration and annoyance trying not to be the one to say 'time for bed' until I couldn't take it any more. Once the youngest 2 no longer needed a bedtime story things went to pot even more, they would eventually be sent off to bed but it would take DH eons to actually go up and check their lights were out.
Now our 2,5 and 7 year old have a set routine: dinner at 5.30, bath at 6, stories and lights out by 7.30. Only the other night he made a comment about some children picking up language and behaviour from watching inappropriate programmes, and how they ought to be in bed before those programmes are on. I looked at him on his high horse and shook my head in despair, then I reminded him that he frequently used to let his children stay up past the watershed when they were young. He sheepishly acknowledged that things had been somewhat different but that he was now used to our routine!
I'm hoping he gets it eventually. Either I won't have to deal with SS10 for much longer if BM2 wins the custody case, or I'll go nuts when we have him FT. Or things will change in a hurry. I don't know. =-s
It's hard being a child care worker, cause I know how children work, and how to deal with them, but SPing is....much more difficult. I'd rather deal with 50 school-age kids. lol
Comments
That's awful. I thought 1030
That's awful. I thought 1030 was excessive tonight!
He doesn't have consoles or
He doesn't have consoles or stuff like that in his room, it's books. His bedtime is anywhere from 930 to 1030, but then it's getting ready for bed, readying a book with Dad, and then He lets him stay up and read. He has a tendency to go downstairs after and continue lunches for hte next day or something and it usually is up to me to go in (when I'm fed up) at like 11 and be like, 'k, wrap it up.' Sometimes, rarely, he passes out on his own quickly, but most of the time he's up past 11.
I'm glad the kid's reading and all...but really....
I agree. In theory, his
I agree. In theory, his bedtime is around the same time every night. Guess it turned out last night he was freaking out cause he didn't know where his tooth that he lost yesterday was, and was afraid to miss the Tooth Fairy.
But a lot of it is on my SO too...
He won't go check in to make sure he's asleep, or that he's wrapping up the book he's reading at a decent time--last night SS10 I guess went down to tell Him and He said He'd be right up cause the tooth was still in his pocket from when it fell out and was cleaned. But then it took Him a while to come up.
There are times when I wish I could have kids (He's had a vasectomy) but part of me thinks that having kids together, might break us apart. He became a dad really young (20) and it feels sometimes like he would prefer to not have kids at all. Or like he's too young still to deal with them---like playing on XBox for hours after he puts SS10 to bed, and doesn't check to make sure kid is sleeping.
Yes this frustrates me to hell, but one thing at a time.
No need for apology. I agree,
No need for apology. I agree, I recently told SO that he needs to be putting SS10 to bed earlier, because he should be sleeping by 930, not just going to get changed into pj's, then teeth, then bedtime story, then reading on his own for hours, at 930. I expressed my frustration and he said he would work to make me less frustrated.
Yikes. Hugs.
Yikes. Hugs.
Feeling your frustration.
Feeling your frustration. SD(then10ish) ran around the darkened house at 11 once because she didn't WANT to go to bed when my 2 DS(then 7/9) were trying to fall asleep (my DDthen14 was at a friends), screaming, hollering and hoping disney daddy would chase her. Hell on earth is having a f'd up skid who comes with a f'd up BM. I said, "Stop chasing her and ignore her." Once again, yes, here it comes, I was told I was "cruel." I just might have to change my name to Cruella de-Ville.
=\ That sounds rather sucky
=\ That sounds rather sucky as well.
Lots of things about stepping
Lots of things about stepping is sucky. sue2e's posts annoy me sometimes, but still some things to learn from everyone. She has a good post on her blog about "Stepmonster" Check it out.
I will, thank you. =)
I will, thank you.
K, either I'm dense,
K, either I'm dense, or...something. I can't find sue2e, or I can't find where to search properly for members.
Tried 'sue2e' in the custom Google search, but it said nothing.
might have misspelled her
might have misspelled her name.
Thank you. Once I heard that
Thank you. Once I heard that term I looked it up and found it was a book. I think I will be looking up other potentially helpful books (I see Divorce Poison mentioned too) and will likely be stopping at the local Chapters today.
Thank you!
Thank you, I will add that to
Thank you, I will add that to the list.
Oh my, looks like there re
Oh my, looks like there re quite a few Boundaries books by them. Does it say specifically for step parents on the cover, or...?
This issue used to drive me
This issue used to drive me up the wall when my skids were still young enough to be staying over. It seemed like the simplest thing in the world to me to set a bedtime and stick to it, but apparently not.
DH was hopeless at routine, he didn't want to be the bad guy bedtime enforcer, he didn't think it mattered if they went to bed a bit late, he clung onto the extra time with them. Meanwhile the older children got very little time and attention from DH because the young ones were allowed to stay up so late. He would let the teens start family movies at gone 8 so they didn't finish until after 10 and then not even rush to get the youngest into bed when it finished. I didn't even have my own children but it just seemed wrong to me. I would sit there simmering with frustration and annoyance trying not to be the one to say 'time for bed' until I couldn't take it any more. Once the youngest 2 no longer needed a bedtime story things went to pot even more, they would eventually be sent off to bed but it would take DH eons to actually go up and check their lights were out.
Now our 2,5 and 7 year old have a set routine: dinner at 5.30, bath at 6, stories and lights out by 7.30. Only the other night he made a comment about some children picking up language and behaviour from watching inappropriate programmes, and how they ought to be in bed before those programmes are on. I looked at him on his high horse and shook my head in despair, then I reminded him that he frequently used to let his children stay up past the watershed when they were young. He sheepishly acknowledged that things had been somewhat different but that he was now used to our routine!
I'm hoping he gets it
I'm hoping he gets it eventually. Either I won't have to deal with SS10 for much longer if BM2 wins the custody case, or I'll go nuts when we have him FT. Or things will change in a hurry. I don't know. =-s
It's hard being a child care worker, cause I know how children work, and how to deal with them, but SPing is....much more difficult. I'd rather deal with 50 school-age kids. lol