SD21 msgd me yesterday about an ongoing fight with her dh's brother and sil. they are always on the outs with them. one part of what she said really stuck out to me. she said that bil and sil never acknowledge or mention her pregnancy. well when she announced it on fb (when I did that years ago, I was a horrible person for announcing it on fb instead of telling her and smil in person), sil did congratulate them and said she's hoping for a niece. I guess that's not good enough. apparently sd thinks her pregnancy should be the subject of all conversations when she is around. she was very much like this the first time around which was one of many reasons I was 100% uninvolved.

I don't get it. her pregnancy is the biggest thing going on in HER life, it's not the biggest thing going on in everyone else's lives. why is that so hard for her to grasp? not everyone else is spending every second of every day thinking about the fact that she's pregnant like she does.

fdh's grampa died last week, too. he was 83 and had heart problems. the week leading up to his death, sd kept posting that she went to see him and his eyes lit up with joy when she walked in. in another post, she said she held his hand and laughed and cried and talked about their life together, etc. then when he passed, it was all about how heartbroken she was and she missed him so much, and please pray for her and the family. now I don't doubt she loved him. but they weren't close. he was her great grandfather and she hardly ever saw him. and I do mean, HARDLY EVER. it was all about getting people to pay attention to her, which I find despicable.

at the graveside service, we got there first. everyone was mostly fine. sure, people were sad. but no one was acting a fool about it. she gets there and she walks up to fdh with this look of misery on her face. I could tell she was ready and waiting to burst into tears as soon as she saw one good opening. she hugs fdh and I know she's waiting for him to cry so she can, too. he didn't. (he already got that out of his system a few days before grampa died, and I was the one there to console him). after seeing a few different people with that look of....I guess I would say forlorn on her face and no one else was acting like that, she decided to go over to fdh's late brother's stone and just stand there and look at it desperately, like her heart was being ripped out. he died 9 years ago unexpectedly. she never goes to the cemetery and never talks about him. again, trying to get attention. no one gave her any.

at the dinner, she was fine. acted completely normal, laughed, talked, and of course talked about her pregnancy. fucking pathetic. why take advantage of death to try to get attention? I know real grief and look at me grief. real grief doesn't go overboard and look around for people to notice. real grief continues whether anyone else is upset or not. funny how she went from devastated to perfectly normal in less than an hour.

ugh. I don't say anything ever, I do my part to keep the peace, but I sure as hell do notice plenty.