Probably not as bad as it feels, but BM is drying out from the drugs
BM IS officially homeless. (It's not another lie to make myself and SDs feel guilty this time! It was confirmed by Oldest Sister.) OS (oldest sister) says BM has been in a battered women's shelter for 30 days already. On July 25th BM's Facebook status was "Single and missing my babies!" Ugh!
OS says that there are no new track marks on BM's arms when she sees her, but OS isn't sure that BM isn't shooting up in her legs or between her toes. (OUCH! People actually do that? Yuck!) OS also said that BM wanted to get herself established in the battered women's shelter BEFORE SHE WENT TO REHAB. 
Also, BM is supposed to be getting SSI now of about $180 a month, until all the court stuff is cleared up.
I found all of this out on Saturday night, and told Hubby yesterday. Hubby's first response was to go for child support. I don't like that idea, at all!
When we were going through all of the custody BS, last year, we were told that BM would have to get clean, clear up all of her court cases and then petition Children's Services for visitation. It seems like she is taking the steps. I don't like this at all!
I'm sure that I am going to piss someone off by saying this, but.. These are my kids, in all but biology and adoption papers! I don't want to have to share them (even if only for an hour a week) with BM, who fucked them up the first time! I don't know if SD12 can handle it, and stay sane, either.
There is the idea of me adopting them, and I am going to call around (AGAIN) for an attorney today. But I am stressed out by the idea because of the home study.
Anyways, wish me luck on finding an attorney, guys! And if you pray, say one for me.
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Aswang, I'm so glad that I
Aswang, I'm so glad that I posted this! I never thought about SDs being resentful if I filed for custody now!!! I really don't want to do anything that would hurt THEM.
I consider BM on an upswing right now. She has finally got herself an income, and food stamps. She is in a battered women's shelter, and has a date planned that she will get housing. MAYBE she is off drugs, I don't know about that one.
SD15 knows everything I just typed up there ^^^. She asked her dad not to go for CS because she is scared it will lower my chances of adoption. She also asked, if BM cleans her act up, will the judge care about what SHE wants, as far as visitation, and will Hubby and myself "take that into consideration".
I told SD15 that I will fight for whatever she wants, AS LONG AS I DON'T CONSIDER IT UNHEALTHY FOR HER. SD15 said "Well, I don't want to see BM, and I think it would be unhealthy to make me go!" SD15 also has a GAL who has always listened to what SD15 wants.
SD12 knows nothing! Whenever BM's name is said to her, she gets very angry, and acts out in my direction. BM is not brought up in her presence unless SHE initiates it, which isn't very often.
I'm not even worried about BM
I'm not even worried about BM having custody. What scares me is just visitation.
I don't want her to step into my little family in any way, shape or form!
As for why/how I do it, I see them as my own. I have no bios, but I no longer even desire them. I have my kids, and I love them with all of my heart.
I still wake up most mornings, wondering how I got so lucky! This morning, for instance, I woke up at 430 to a completely clean house, and it wasn't that way when I went to bed.
It wasn't a nice SURPRISE, though, because they do that a LOT!
That's the plan if she makes
That's the plan if she makes any moves towards visitation AT ALL. We will ask the judge to either give her supervised visitation through Children's Services, or through one of those pay-for-it places. (She made Hubby go through a pay-for-it place, once. Good enough for him is too good for her, in my opinion!)
I really really hope it doesn't even come to that! I don't want her around the kids at all. She is toxic, has three children, has never raised one, etc etc etc.
You are a good and happy
You are a good and happy person, and that is the best influence you can have on the SD's. I watch a tv show where someone wants to adopt an 18 yo. She said, she loves him and wants him to know he can count on her no matter what. That if anything ever happened, she's got his back. He wasn't sure at first, after all, he's legally an adult already and doesn't *need* someone to take care of him anymore. But he liked the idea that he's not on his own just because he's 18.
In my opinion, I think you and the SD's can talk about the idea of adoption. Don't take any action right away, because it's what you talk about and coming to a decision together that will support the bond of love you have now. I know you all love each other, but talking about the different plusses and minusses to adoption could be a great way to decide what to DO with that love.
Moeilijk, we have been
Moeilijk, we have been discussing adoption for the past year. SD15 wants it, and SD12 is okay with it.. she goes back and forth between wanting to be adopted, to being okay if I adopt her, without having a burning desire for it!
To date, the things that have stopped adoption is the price of an attorney (I looked it up, in my state, it says I can't even apply without one!) and the fact that I am really really tired of home studies. SD15 has decided that if I haven't adopted her by her 18th birthday, we will do it ON THAT DAY! (LOL, I think it's cute that she doesn't want to wait for the day after, or whatever!)