I want to have child support recalculated for two reasons. Both of our incomes have gone up and it’s been three years since it was first calculated.

Also, according to our divorce agreement, my exH was supposed to set up CS payments with payroll deduction which he has never done. I didn’t press the issue at first but lately he’s been late a lot with payments, two weeks, sometimes a month late at a time. His lateness causes confusion because then he loses tracks of how much he owes, etc.

I’m in South Carolina and I checked out the state’s Child Support Services website. On that website they have videos explaining how to file for CS. Even in their videos, they say the process will go faster if you use a private attorney instead of using their services. Also, they say if you go through the state DSS for CS, they send a request to both parties for their financial information and wait for both parties to send in their information. They don't mention what they will do to force someone to respond if they take a long time. This is a big concern. My exH will do everything he can to delay the process for as long as possible.

So I had a consultation with an attorney. She told me that going through her the process would take about 4-8 months and would cost about $1,500. However, after looking at my divorce agreement, she pointed out to me that it says before going to court we have to attempt to works things out between the two of us first.

She said if my exH and I can agree to a new number for CS, she can file all the paperwork in court for us for $400 flat rate.

Obviously I want to try and get my exH to agree to something without having to take him to court. The attorney suggested I send exH a letter to him first to see if we could agree to something without me having to take him to court.

The letter has to walk a balance between avoiding language that will put him on the defensive with containing enough "teeth" so that he'll respond. I have to threaten taking him to court or otherwise he probably won’t respond at all.

Here is what I have composed. Any suggestions are welcome. Thanks.

Dear exH

Since it has been three years since our divorce and child support being calculated, it's time to re-calculate it. Our divorce agreement says we should exchange financial information and make any modification in the amount of child support if that is necessary.

If you could provide me with a copy of your 2013 tax return and recent paystubs, and I'll provide mine to you at the same time. We can use South Carolina’s online child support calculator to figure out what the new child support amount should be.

Also, per our divorce agreement, you were supposed to set up payroll deduction for child support payments. This is an issue that has caused problems in the past, when a payment for child support is late, you and I disagree about whether it was paid at all. So if you would please go ahead and get the payroll deduction started, I'd appreciate it.

Please provide me with the requested documents within ten days of receipt of this letter.

I would prefer not having to pursue this matter further by going to court, so if we can agree on a new number for child support, I have an attorney who can file the necessary paperwork in court for us.

Thanks,

ex-wife