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You all should envy me...

WokeUpABug's picture

Submitted by WokeUpABug on Fri, 12/12/2014 - 8:03pm

Not only do I get to SS12's special event this weekend, but afterwards I get to go out to lunch with DH, skids, in laws and BM!!!

I agreed to it though so I can't really bitch. Be the first time doing this. I hope I'm not setting a horrible precedent.

Comments

rainbow bright83's picture

Submitted by rainbow bright83 on Fri, 12/12/2014 - 8:17pm

^^^ this!!!!
All I can envision is a lot of "Remember that time" or "This was before we separated"
Good Luck!

WokeUpABug's picture

Submitted by WokeUpABug on Fri, 12/12/2014 - 8:20pm

If this happens I will start doing shots. Then I will ask BM which boyfriend she was dating when that happened in their marriage. I DGAF.

MissElphaba's picture

Submitted by MissElphaba on Sat, 12/13/2014 - 9:08am

Yes! When I first met GHSH, she wanted SO and myself to meet her and her BF at some divey Mexican restaurant...for drinks and tacos. Well, we brought our friend and his GF so that I didn't hate SO for a week...our friend, his GF and I eventually turned the "remember when" into a drinking game. I left there tanked and GHSH thought we were BESTIES. Totally worth the hangover, but it didn't take real long to realize that alcohol liked her, not me.

bellladonna's picture

Submitted by bellladonna on Fri, 12/12/2014 - 8:14pm

Just be prepared to go to your "happy place" multiple times tomorrow. Good luck girl!

WokeUpABug's picture

Submitted by WokeUpABug on Fri, 12/12/2014 - 8:18pm

Yeah MIL talked me into it. Basically we will all be at event, and it would make SS12 feel awkward for us all to leave for lunch and say "see ya BM!"

BM has basically no family that will attend. None in this area.

Though I do worry bc before I came along MIL used to push DH into "family" holidays and bdays with BM "for the kuds". I put a stop to that. If BM acts up this will be the one and only time. Fool me once...

Indigo's picture

Submitted by Indigo on Fri, 12/12/2014 - 10:35pm

You know, now that you're in ... think gracious thoughts about you are donating this time to "the Greater Good," or paint a lovely mental portrait of SS12 accepting the Noble Peace Prize and saying something like: "And, I'd especially like to thank 'WokeUpABug' for her unfailing support and encouragement ...blah, blah .."

rainbow bright83's picture

Submitted by rainbow bright83 on Fri, 12/12/2014 - 8:23pm

This could work in your favor! A perfect chance to spike everyone's drink that causes you grief!!! lol

Onefootout's picture

Submitted by Onefootout on Fri, 12/12/2014 - 8:43pm

It doesn't look like MIL has been stopped at all. Rather than excluding you she's simply giving you a front row seat to her family drama that she's directing.

I used to acquiesce in situations like this in the past. Then after things were over I looked back and thought how could I ever have agreed to something like that.

Don't feel like you have to go through with this. You can always change your mind. You didn't sign anything in blood.

people like MIL know to catch you off guard and know you wont want to confront them when they ask you to do these things. And this is not for the kids. I don't buy that. How awkward for the kids to have BM and SM at lunch together with dad.

WokeUpABug's picture

Submitted by WokeUpABug on Fri, 12/12/2014 - 10:29pm

Well this is the first occurrence in the 3 plus years I've been with DH.

But I agree, this is more about MIL. Not really sure what her angle is here. I guess I'll find out.

I did tell DH that this was very much on a trial basis and if it didn't go well we would not being doing it again. DH was fine with that as he hates being around BM. We are just giving it a try for SS12 sake. But I agree it may be more weird for him than anything.

Silent River's picture

Submitted by Silent River on Fri, 12/12/2014 - 9:03pm

Sounds similar to my last weekend. I still have not recovered. Not sure if I ever will....

Onefootout's picture

Submitted by Onefootout on Fri, 12/12/2014 - 9:08pm

This ^^^ here is why I would change my mind and not go. I know, I know, its hard to say no to these things but these situations are very harmful to the SM. I always regretted agreeing to have dinner at former BMs house. I wish I had said no.

Onefootout's picture

Submitted by Onefootout on Fri, 12/12/2014 - 9:48pm

Agree with Tausha. If they want to do family things together then they should've stayed married.

WokeUpABug's picture

Submitted by WokeUpABug on Fri, 12/12/2014 - 10:31pm

Oh DH is probably even more uncomfortable than I am. He hates even being in the same room as BM. Yeah the more I think about it this was a bad idea...

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Fri, 12/12/2014 - 10:38pm

I can be in the same room with BM easier than my DH can. He cannot stand her. No way in hell would he go to lunch with her. He'd probably end up in jail.

WTF...REALLY's picture

Submitted by WTF...REALLY on Fri, 12/12/2014 - 10:30pm

Tell us how it goes. Should be an interesting read. Love bringing up the boyfriend thing as a back up plan. Lol

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Fri, 12/12/2014 - 10:36pm

That sounds like a whole lot of hell (with your MIL being the devil). What did you do to deserve this?

it would make SS12 feel awkward for us all to leave for lunch and say "see ya BM!"

Yeah, so?

Divorce creates a lot of awkward situations. It's awkward for kids to no longer live with both parents so maybe BM should move in.

It's awkward for kids to see their parents date and marry other people so maybe they should stay forever single.

Gwynnafaye's picture

Submitted by Gwynnafaye on Sat, 12/13/2014 - 8:12am

We had this situation last year. SD and DD "graduated" from the same middle school. DD was in honors/advanced classes, and SD was in regular classes so there were separate ceremonies for each group. The day fell on mine and DH's time with SD. BM decided that she was going to take SD out to lunch after the ceremony. DH and I said no way. We were going to take the girls (and the boys) out to lunch, and BM was free to join us if she wanted to. Surprisingly, BM came to both "graduations." She came alone, so there we all were - DH's ex and current wife, his children with her, my children, and my mother. DD and SD both got awards. It went well. Lunch was a bit awkward but nice. BM bought the girls an appetizer to share. She was gracious and complimentary to both girls. She was able to see us as a family unit and even told me a few of the nice things Skids had said about me. DH didn't go out of the way to flaunt affection to me in front of her, but he also didn't shy away from it. Instead of she and I pretending the other didn't exist, we were able to chat and tease the kids a little about some of the mannerisms and quirkiness they have. My SS is graduating high school in 2015. Hopefully, we can be civil again.

I still think BM is an idiot and a lazy parent, but to be able to be in the same room without her going off on me or pretending I didn't exist was a big step.

We were also going to invite my Ex to lunch as well, but he never showed for the graduation.

Here's a tip - dress up, be radiant, wear the nicest jewelry DH has bought for you and stand your ground as his wife. Be gracious to BM, sweet as pie. Thank HER for joining your family at the luncheon - they hate that.