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Stepmoms with an ours baby - how did you handle the postpartum week?

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Submitted by WokeUpABug on Mon, 02/20/2017 - 2:25pm

Did you alter custody? Get a doula to help with older kids? Or is there anything you wish you'd done differently?

DH and I are expecting a baby in 2 months. He can take off 1 week right after baby is born. Skids are older - two extremely helpful girls ages 18 and 16 and one somewhat less helpful SS14. Of course DH does not want to alter custody schedule and we have them 50/50 so there's a 50 percent chance they will be with us when we get home from hospital. I'm apprehensive.

Love to hear others experiences.

Telling skids reason for divorce

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Submitted by WokeUpABug on Fri, 12/30/2016 - 9:22am

I had a conversation with my boss today that got me thinking. He told me how his brother had gotten divorced in the 90s and everyone had sort of subconsciously held it against him. He just found out 30 years later that actually the exwife had an affair. He was shocked his brother had never told his kids why the marriage ended. It got me thinking because DH divorced BM after numerous affairs. Even though he's close with his kids ages 14-20, he's never said a word, and I think it's safe to say they blame him a bit.

BM refusing to pay court ordered expenses

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Submitted by WokeUpABug on Thu, 12/22/2016 - 8:02am

DH and I are having a baby (yay!) in May. I also got a new job a few months ago. Based on what I've read on this site I was expecting BM to ramp up the crazy, but things were eerily quiet. Now however she's started to refuse to pay CO'ed expenses. Examples are she owes us half of a school trip for SD and two medical copays.

The car saga...

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Submitted by WokeUpABug on Tue, 12/20/2016 - 10:41am

I'll admit this is mostly a vent. When SS20 started driving 4 years ago, BM wanted DH to give SS his old car. The thing was a tank, and SS not a great driver and the cost of insurance would have been prohitive. We offered to sell it BM for half of the blue book value and help pay insurance costs. She declined (I assume she wanted us to foot entire bill of SS driving).

When and how to tell kids I'm pregnant?

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Submitted by WokeUpABug on Thu, 10/06/2016 - 9:34am

After many years and multiple rounds of IVF DH and I are currently expecting! I'm over the moon of course but keeping as quiet as possible for now. I'm 10 weeks and everything looks good so far (fingers crossed). The problem is its my second so I'm already starting to get a little round (it's more bloat than baby but still not my usual shape).

Holy cannoli BM got approved for a PLUS loan!

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Submitted by WokeUpABug on Thu, 04/28/2016 - 2:28pm

At my suggestion (well at DHs, but it was my idea) BM applied for a PLUS loan for SS19. The rationale was that she would be denied due to recent bankruptcy, and this would make SS19 eligible for larger federal loans (a fun little loophole I found out about via Internet research ).

Anyway the unthinkable happened- she was actually approved, and a loan for the balance (almost $7k) of SS19 tuition has been applied to his account. We don't owe any extra! And the best part is it's completely in her name so won't be a burden for SS19! Doing a happy dance!

Eff you, DH

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Submitted by WokeUpABug on Tue, 04/12/2016 - 7:22am

Huge fight this AM. I told him I would not agree to his cosigning loans to compensate for BMs share of SS19s tuition. I told him I'd done some soul searching and decided if we did that it would cause irreparable harm to our marriage. I said that I thought SS19 options were to work it out with BM, take a year off to work and save money or transfer somewhere cheaper.

BM just astounds me... SS19 tuition

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Submitted by WokeUpABug on Tue, 04/05/2016 - 9:34am

A few updates. I shared my plan for SS19 tuition with DH who is on board (see last blog). It turns out that MIL had a few grand saved for SS19, so the total amount of the cosigned loan would be even smaller. SS19 is aware of the plan and on board for turning over all paycheck to us for tuition, and will be living rent free this summer with his grandparents.

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